I am having one of those moments, one of those days that creeps on you when you don't expect it, years after the separation, and on the brink of finalizing the divorce about my kids. I have been told I am one of the best as I see my kids every weekend, call every day and talk--they live near by. I just sometimes look at their pictures and think about how the life circumstance of not having mom and dad under one roof will effect them later in life, and how it has already. They are well adjusted, doing well in school, and know the love comes from both parents. They see us as parents involved in their lives and work together as a team on any decisions that concern them. We compremise well enough regarding issues about them and mostly agree to begin with. Still I feel guilty at times as a father...anyone else been through this in this way?...
2007-10-22 09:19:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey sounds to me like you are doing a great job.My kids real bio dad don't call and hasn't seen them in 2yrs and he lives 50minutes away.You are a good man and a very rich man at that.The guilt is a reminder to stay in thier lives and to be a good father to them.You put aside differences and put them first in life.They know this.You deserve a hug.You should be proud to call yourself a daddy.
2007-10-22 09:43:52 · answer #1 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way. When you lived under your parents roof they were much involved in your life and did many things for you and certainly meant a lot to you ... when you moved out you parents love, help, support was the same although they weren't close to you physically right?
Well it is the same here. You seem to be doing a great job even though you are not living under the same roof. Kepp plugging in the time you spend with them and your dedication to their lives ... whether you are close by or distant you will always be part of their lives.
Besides it seems they are doing real well. Be proud of them and stop the guilt. Whatever happened is the past and you should accept it. Keep being a dad. good luck.
2007-10-22 16:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by caliguy_30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not alone my friend. I can't live long enough to give my children the things they so much deserve. I do a pretty good job of beating myself up because I miss most of the special moments in their lives. I miss their soccer games. miss tucking them in at night, seeing them off to school, not being there when they feel sad, when they're sick...etc. I'm very thankful my ex found a good man who treats my children good. The choices we make are the choices we have to live with whether they're right or wrong. You can only do the best you can from this point forward. Just tell them you love them every opportunity you get. But I do understand how days like you are having creep up on you because I have lots of them. Unlike you I am all the way on the other side of the country from my kids so I have to settle for phone calls every day and just having my kids for a month during the summer. Don't beat yourself up ... you're doing your best.
2007-10-22 16:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sometimes feel guilty because of the poor choices I made. I should of never married my son's father but then again I would of never had my wonderful son either. I wish I would of been able to provide my son with a good stable father. You sound well rounded and your kids will turn out good. My ex husband picks my 13 year old son up but ignores him the whole time he is there. I am remarried but my husband and my son argue. I wish my husband would have patients and have fun with him. I am almost in tears when I write this because I do feel guilty every day wondering why was I so stupid.
2007-10-22 16:28:00 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guilt will always be there, in the back of our minds. Its in every aspect of raising children. It comes from the worry that you may or may not be making the right choices when it comes to them. But rest assured that so long as they know that their parents love them and spend time with them and have respect for each other as parents....all will be ok. Divorce isn't what is necessarily unhealthy for children, its the bad things that parents do to one another that is unhealthy for the children.
2007-10-22 16:30:48 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a nice change to the normal questions.
A consciencious father who loves and spends time with his kids. I hope when you find someone else to be married to, she will truly appreciate and accept the value you place on the relationship with your children.
2007-10-22 16:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage isn't about your kids.... One day soon the kids will be gone then where will you be ? Go on.... Find the love of your life ...because its not your wife,................
2007-10-22 16:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋