How do you know if you are being emotionally abused?

Question

thanks alot for all the help anyone has to offer.

Answer 1

Oh, darling, I hope this isn't for you. Emotional abuse is extremely painful and can be worse in some ways than physical abuse, because no one can see it, and so even you may question it at first.

Emotional abuse creeps up on you. In the beginning, it might be a small criticism: "Gee, I don't like your hair that way" or "I thought you were going to do something better for dinner tonight." Then it might be a bit more pointed: "Why do you dress that way? You look terrible in yellow." "I expected you to react like that. You're such a whiner." So off you go to change. By the way, tomorrow, that yellow outfit might look fantastic, and that dinner will be considered extra special.

Later on, it gets to some of what I call the "typical" phrases: "Everyone else in the world would know X, but YOU say Y." "You can't do anything right-- I should have asked somebody else" (when, of course, no one else would EVER be asked, or, of course, when you actually told the other person that you didn't know how to do this). Don't forget the ever-present, "What did you do THAT for?" Then wait for the stunned-by-your-stupidity look, when the other person had no idea what you were doing, or why.... "No wonder no one likes you." Oh, and in a couple of days, that will seem like the smartest thing in the world.

Get it? In short, emotional abuse is an eroding of your self-esteem. But it's done in such a way that you feel that you might have done something wrong, that you must have some major character flaws. You have all their love and affection-- and then they withdraw. You have all their interest-- and then they drop you for days or not speak to you and refuse to tell you why. Oh, and by the way, it's usually done by someone whom you totally trusted, like a husband or a parent-- someone whose opinion actually MEANS something to you, because then it's all the more powerful. And it's isolating. You start to feel like maybe the other person is right, and how could you impose yourself on the world like that??

There's a book called "Verbal Abuse Survivors: Speak Out" by... I think Patricia Evans (don't hold me to the author, but I think I'm right). Since emotional abuse almost always comes with verbal, you'll be AMAZED at what you see.

If this is you you're talking about, and I've made sense in my answers and had you nodding all the way through, then believe this:

YOU ARE WORTHY, AND YOU CAN BE STRONG.

Doesn't matter WHO is saying these things. If you know better, you can beat it. It becomes nothing but a background twinge if you can laugh when someone calls you stupid and worthless. And make sure you tell someone-- it was never more liberating than to say to someone "He's a verbal abuser. So I just IGNORE IT." It will still hurt, but you can shake your head and know better from your support group of friends and family.

Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 2

You will basically have to 'get over it' in a sense. When I was younger I was physically, emotionally and mentally abused by both my parents and none of my (other) family members cared. They said what happens in the house stays there. I hated getting close to girls b.c. they were usually very rude, and untrust worthy. For men I was afraid of getting beat-hands, fist, being shoved into walls, and so fourth. Everybody has a 'sob story' to tell, and I'm not being rude, ask around. They will have a sad story to tell you, best friend passing away, parents were never there, parents divorced, brother sexually abused you, friend raped you and the list goes on. You must work past that. Just remember you have a (sounds like it) great job which most people would love to have. When speaking in public (who ISN'T afraid of public speaking?!?!) concentrate on ONE PERSON or pretend your talking to a friend. I did a lot of public speaking in college and I had anxiety attacks!! I admit, I left the room once b.c. of the anxiety attack but I came back the next day and do the presentation over again (in front of 56 students). I wish you the best of luck and don't give up, everybody has there battles in life!!

Answer 3

If you believe you are being emotionally abused, then you are probably being emotionally abused. Does your partner yell at you, put you down, make fun of you, express completely unreasonable expectations, expect you to talk about issues late into the night when you have to get up early in the morning? That is all emotional abuse. There are support groups where you can get help. If your partner is alcoholic, al-anon is a good resource. Otherwise, find a woman's support group in your area. It really helps to talk to someone face to face about these problems.

Answer 4

Basically, when you have an exchange with another person and after it you feel small and stupid. Then, you are probably being emotionally abused. Also, overt abuse such as name calling, harsh questioning (interrogaions), discounting your feelings or thoughts or beliefs, ignoring you. Playing the "come here, go away" game with you.

Being with friends or family should be an overall positive, supportive experience.

Answer 5

If someone constantly questions your actions, your values, your words ... if they make you feel worthless no matter what you do, if they blam you constantly, if they make you question yourself ... than yes you are being emotionally abused ... which in many cases is even worse than being physically or verbally abused.
Find a way to fight it or get out of it before it is too late.
Emotional abuse can be very dangerous.

Answer 6

if ur spouse is hurting u by saying awful things or makes u cry than that would count as being emotionally abused. Hope I have helped and the best of luck w/ ur relationship.

Answer 7

You do nothing right.He says it ,and you feel it.You feel worthless and ugly and that nobody will ever want you.You feel trapped and you couldn't make it without him.Things will change and you keep hoping.He makes promises that you know he will not keep,but the words out of his mouth is comforting enough even though deep down you know better.He puts you down on everything.There are no praises just complaints.You feel like a nobody unless he is there,and even though he puts you down.You feel like if you screw up he will leave and so you kiss his *** more and it's still not good enough.When he wants sex he makes you cry first then comforts you by screwing you and then you feel like somebody for a few seconds till he starts on you again by the putdowns.Get out of this kind of relationship.

Answer 8

If you are being emotionally abused you experience name calling, mental games (one day you are amazing, the next you can't seem to do anyting right), constant put downs of you as a person.

Answer 9

1. He tells you who and who you can talk to,
2. He tries to run every thing you do.
3. He tells you what you can and can not do.
4. He tells you that you are ugly and that no one can love you
5. He makes you feel like everything you do is wrong
6. Your scared of him
7. You feel depressed, along and want to cry
8. You feel trapped and that no one can help you out.
9. He doesn't want you to have any friends,
10. If you try to have a life of your own he threatens you.
11. You feel belittled, ashamed and empty by his words
The list can go on and on..........

Answer 10

I believe there is such a thing as verbal abuse when harsh or demeaning language is used. emotional abuse can only happen if you let it. If you internalize the harsh treatment you are experiencing rather than turning away from it and refusing to tolerate it. If you think you are experiencing emotional abuse try putting up a wall to the abuser - Choose to not take it any more. Remove yourself when it gets bad. This will help to save your emotions.