I made my husband leave a week ago, after 12 years of marriage and 3 years of trying to make him leave I finally did it. He came back this weekend so now I've made him leave again. He will not take no for an answer. He's controlling and plays mind games, it's completely changed the person I am and I don't like it. I've told him this and it goes in one ear and out the other, he just won't listen and won't give me any room to breathe. We have 2 kids together, so it's not like I can just cut him out of my life. How do you deal with someone like this, and most of all not let the kids see the damage that has been done. How do I make him understand that we're not doing eachother any good and it has to stop?
2007-10-22 08:37:35 · 14 answers · asked by Cowgirl Up Yours 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes they just won't listen..I hear you!! It's like you aren't even talking...you don't exist. I wish I could help you, but that would mean I was able to help myself and that hasn't happened yet, you're further than I have gotten. But please be careful and protect yourself and your children, just like the others are saying.
Best of Luck
2007-10-22 16:21:02 · answer #1 · answered by Bite me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, protect yourself and the children, use police intervention and restraining orders if necessary!! I would also think about relocating!! You could also arrange his visitations where he picks up and drops off the kids at a different location so he has no reason to be coming back into the house!! Do your best to keep the kids out of the middle, don't allow them to be used as pawns, it's not fair to them!! Good Luck Cowgirl!!
2007-10-22 15:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by Ginny 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The others are correct it's time to get the police involved.Get a restraining order and get divorce papers filed ASAP.After that when it's time for him to see the kids they can be exchanged at the local police station and if he doesn't have them back on time the cops will already know.Good luck.
2007-10-22 15:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, if this is what you really want, be firm! Just make sure this is it, no turning back. I would make calling the cops the last resort.
If it does come down to that, make sure the kids are not home. I wish you luck and pray for you to find happiness again.
2007-10-22 20:09:04 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Livin' Life♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Serve him with divorce papers. Tell him you're done. You want nothing more to do with him unless it's in regard to your children. Don't give an inch and don't let him intimidate you. It will take some time, but he will eventually get it as long as you present a strong, unmovable stand. Good luck sweetie.
2007-10-22 15:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi wow it is bad u need to email me girl i can provide a listening ear yes either get a court order or up and move good luck
2007-10-23 07:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by WTamSP 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHOA! your situation is worse than I thought. We gotta get talkin' more!
Seriously, try having police intervention involved. Or you may have to "Cowgirl Up" and move to a diffferent place with your kids, if possible. Just as long as he knows you want nothing to do with him...
2007-10-22 15:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
get a restrainning ordeer or an order of protection against him and make him stop your children understand and feel a lot more than you might think they do they know what is going on jut like my son knows what is going on with his father and me... it hurts but as long as you can explain it on their level won't be so hard on them
2007-10-22 15:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police next time he shows up and get a restraining order
2007-10-22 15:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Holly Cookie Starr™♥ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree w/ everyone...also, many women shelters have safe places and a legal team to help. I wish you a happy future!!
2007-10-22 17:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋