I have been married for 6 years, and my husband and I have been having problems for the past three. We get along fine, enjoy eachothers company... but we've never had a very solid sex life. Actually, it's always been bad and no matter how much we try to "work on it" it seems to never get any better. Recently, I cheated on him. I know its a terrible thing, and I am horribly guilty about it. My question is, should I try counselling before ending this marriage, or have I already messed up too badly... should I just leave him so he can find a woman who won't cheat on him?
2007-10-22 08:17:57 · 11 answers · asked by lonleywife267 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. Don't tell him about the affair. That just hurts him.
2. It sounds like you are looking for a way out. You want a sex life. You say you wonder if you should leave him so he can find a woman who will not cheat on him. That is a cop out.
3. I think it is time to call it quits. You have cheated once, and I suspect that each time gets easier.
2007-10-22 08:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Songbyrd JPA ✡ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, please go to counseling! You have cheated and that has changed your relationship forever. However you can still have a great marriage but you need help. You need to be 100% sure that you cannot save your marriage before you divorce. Try as much as you can before calling an attorney. There are tons of sex books, try "The Great American Sex Diet". I also recommend a board game called "A Hot Affair" which can be purchased at an adult store or Specners.
2007-10-22 17:38:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that I'm "crankin' the monkey's tail" here, but if you're the one who cheated he's the one who needs to make that decision. I highly recommend telling him the truth about your infidelity, preferably in front of a live studio audience with millions of viewers watching at home. That's the mature thing to do. If he still wants to repair the relationship, he's a co-dependent loser and you should feel no remorse whatsoever. In fact, I would start making plans to commit adultery with his friends and relatives, just to add insult to injury. Good luck!
2007-10-22 15:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriages are not that disposable. If you feel strongly about your marriage, then you are gonna take the steps necssary to repair the relationship. Cheating didn't solve anything. Only you can answer the question on whether this is worth saving.
2007-10-22 15:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should go to counseling...you shouldve went to this before you cheated on him if it was that bad but oh well the deed is done...now all you can do is look back on your mistake and try to make it work with your husband...if you love him youll do anything to keep him right???
2007-10-22 15:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by gracey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it better when you cheated?Was it a one night stand or an on going thing? I think you should leave him and come to my house to get the spanking you deserve!
2007-10-22 15:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by notagain49 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't do anything about the past except learn from it. ...this is a lesson that's hounding me as well. :S
if you truly love him and wanna be with him, i would definitely suggest counseling before leaving. if it's spice you need, look into fetishes and explore fantasies. best of luck.
2007-10-22 15:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you told your husband that you cheated on him? if yes and he is still wanting to make it work with you then counseling if no and you are scared to then yes
2007-10-22 15:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't tell him you cheated. He will never be able to put it out of his mind. If you love him, stay and try to work it out and talk it out.
2007-10-22 16:35:38 · answer #9 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you cheated, was the sex any better? If not, then obviously the grass wasn't greener.
2007-10-22 15:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by Somethingtotry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋