I trusted my parents and they are being unfair, how do I deal with this?

Question

I'm 15, have always been a god relationship with my parents. I get good grades, don't get in trouble, think about graduating in medicine. I have some very good friends that started acting in a weird way some months ago. They trust me and ended up telling they are on drugs. Unfortunatly they joined a bad crowd and one of thos guys even ofered me some drugs. This thing shocked me and since I trust my parents I told them, aked for their advice. They got very happy about my trust in them but also got shocked and kinda worried. I didn't like their reaction. Mom even asked me if I had experimented w/ some drug wich I took as an offense, I shouted OD COURSE NOT, she just said Ok, hun, OK. Despite out good relationship they forbade me from going out w/ such friends, strated controlling me, my mom keeps calling me to know if everything is OK, they are really worried, for no reason, and this is making me mad. I trusted them and feel got grounded, punished and I didn't do anything wrong!

They are treating me w/ much love but I feel grounded, they are afraid to let me go to parties. The last time I was grounded I was 11!

Answer 1

It may seem unfair, but even really good people can fall into the pressure of drugs. I was a straight A student, youth group leader, and a bunch of other stuff and I've fallen into drugs. Its not good to get into, it just takes one bad day thinking that drugs will make you feel better. You may have resisted the pressure so far, but that doesn't mean you won't fall into peer pressure. If it happened to me, it can happen to anyone.

Want further convincing? There's a kid at my school. He was a really nice kid. His mom's a cop. Freshman and sophmore year he had straight A's at a VERY tough school and was a star on the basketball team. Junior year, he starts hanging out with the wrong kids. He tries coke, and senior year he's gone from 3 lines at a party to 14. His mom caught him, he ran away, she caught him, took him out of school, sent him to rehab for a month and he didn't get better. He's now in a advanced program, but things are looking grim. If you had asked him freshman and sophmore year, he would've never touched the stuff. Its the fact that its constantly around you, and you know its there. You say you'll never do it, but as your friends do it more and more and you see that they're fine, you begin to think that its not such a big deal. You get completely desensatized to drugs, and then you have a bad week and look for an easy way to escape. It happened to that kid, it happened to me, it can honestly happen to anyone. I know you won't believe me, but you have to. I'm not making this up.

Listen to your parents. Drugs **** up your life. Find some new friends. It may be hard, but then your parents will let you go out and that option won't be there. I know if someone had told me this my freshman or sophmore year I wouldn't have believed them. But it CAN happened to you. Just trust them, and try to make some new friends. Tell your current friends that you won't hang with them until they're clean. You may feel bad, but you need to. I've lost a lot of my old friends, and when they told me they wouldn't see me unless I was clean, I was mad but still understood. They'll act mad, but deep down they understand. And if you offer to help them maybe they'll stop. If they value you as a friend they'll come back to you. Just find some new friends and move on with your life - its their decision, and if they are really good friends, they'll come back to you. Please just trust me. Its all I can ask. If you have any further questions message me.

Answer 2

I know it seems unfair right now but they're worried about you and are only doing what is best for you. You probably won't fully understand until you have children of your own. Be glad that your parents are actually doing their job as parents and trying to protect you. Just continue doing whats is right, try to find a new group of friends (which I know will be difficult). Peer pressure can be a very strong thing. Look at the experiences some people who answered gave you, they've been there. Your parents might have even had those same experiences and don't want you making the same mistakes. Maybe as time goes on things will cool off and they won't be as strict. But always remember that they love you and only want what is best for you. If they didn't, they wouldn't care what you did.

Answer 3

First of all, I think it's great that you trust your parents enough to tell them about stuff like that- I'm sorry that you're "grounded," but you have to look at it from their point of view.

You've been a good girl all your life, never falling in with the bad crowd, responsible, etc, and your parents are probably really happy and appreciative.
However, a possibility for some major screwing up has entered into your life- drugs.
It's not that they don't trust you- I highly doubt that they think you would do drugs, they just don't want you to be around it. The more often you are around these things, the more acceptable it seems.

I would just advise you to be patient; keep up the good behavior and give them a bit to realize you're not interested at all in carrying on with these people and their habits.

Answer 4

I totally understand how you feel. If I were you, I would talk to them and tell them how their reaction is making you feel. Let them know that you have not done and will not do anything crazy like-drugs! Let them know that you are more mature than your friends and that is why you told them. Also try to understand them a little as the only thing they are trying to do is protecting you. But if I were you I would get away from friends using drugs as they may get you in trouble. What if you are around them and they have drugs on them and they get pulled over. NO matter if you don't have anything you will get judged too. Know what I mean? If you wanna talk you can e-mail me at [e-mail] GOOD LUCK and Sorry for the way this is going.

Answer 5

I agree that your parents are just trying to protect you. They know that peer pressure is a very hard thing and they just don't want you to have to deal with it. But I also understand what you mean about feeling like you are being punished for someone's else's mistake. I would talk to them and tell them how you are feeling. Make sure they understand that you understand the seriousness of the situation. Also give them reasons why you won't be pressured into doing things. Lastly I know its not an easy thing to hear or do because you never want to give up on your friends, but you need to find friends that will be true to you. A true friend will never ask you to do something you don't want to do. Good luck and continue to be open and honest with your parents.

Answer 6

I don't think they're being unfair at all, just worried about their child. You should feel happy that they worry about you instead of feeling grounded. It's normal that they would get overly protective after learning of this. It will last for a time and run its course but you have to look at it from their point of view: a few extra phone calls, questions and rules are a very small price to pay for doing their best to make sure their child stays off drugs. It's not a statement that they distrust you but rather an acknowledgment that things could happen that are out of their control or yours.

Answer 7

I think you are over reacting. You may feel grounded, but you aren't. Your parents have a right to be worried since they found out that some of your friends got involved with drugs. And you are a 15 year old girl who was offered drugs by friends who do drugs. I don't think it was out of line for your mom to ask if you tried them. They aren't worried for no reason, they have valid reasons to worry about you. Just continue to make good choices and your parents will continue to trust you.

Answer 8

You are over-reacting. You just told your parents that your friends are on drugs..... Of course they don't want you hanging out with them, silly! People your age are easily influenced. It would only take one time for you to slip up and your parents want to make sure you are avoiding the temptation in the first place. They are just trying to protect you. Try seeing things from your parents' perspective.

If you're as "great" as you say you are, you shouldn't want to hang out with those kids anymore anyway. Continue being a well-behaved, well-adjusted teenager and you'll be fine. Kudos to you for having such an open relationship with your parents.

Answer 9

Once you are much older, get married and have your own children - then you will understand it all.
Your parents are concerned because of all of the peer pressure - that's why she's worried and she has every right to be concerned. It's great you have such an open relationship with your parents - listen to them and respect their decisions.

Answer 10

Contrary to the above, I do think your parents are being paranoid and overreacting a bit.

Like me. I used to hang around people who sell and do drugs too. But I didn't do any myself. My parents knew. But they didn't overreact because I told them I knew and aren't going to do drugs myself.

Why don't you tell them and give them the assurance of a promise and self-awareness? Because really, this is a lack of trust. You should be able to hang around with who you want to be with, just not do everything that they do.