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And like an idiot I took him back after he came back crying and threating suicide. Now we been back together for 2 1/2 months....we saw the adulteress and her kids in the mall....and he wanted to run and hide....I wanted him to grab my hand and kiss me and walk up to her an introduce me...would he?? Nope! Oh and just three days before that she wrote him just up and out of the blue...saying "aww I see you got back with your wife.....your demented....and a pig...blah, blah" Why in the hell would she still give a care? And why did he want to hide??

2007-10-22 07:24:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I wanted to be introduced to her because I wanted to test my husband to see if he'd man up and prove to me that she was nothing and I am the women who he truly loves and wants to be with. He failed the test. It had nothing at all to do with her. Understand?

2007-10-22 07:45:05 · update #1

14 answers

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is a devastating thing to go through. It's kinda like a death because the person you knew before has ceased to exist.

I understand your feelings about wanting him to show her that his feelings are for you again. But he is not able to do this, he is hiding because he is ashamed, and men don't know how to deal with this emotion. He knows he made a mistake, but doesn't know how to "make it right". Show him how to regain your trust in him. If he has to call you 10 times a day and wait on you hand and foot, so be it. Tell him what you need.

I would not want to be introduced to an adultress. She is not worthy of knowing you. She slept with a married man. The fact that you two are together speaks for itself and must make her feel really special. Hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong. Slowly over time the pain will ease. I am sorry you have to run into this tramp. That must make getting over the affair very hard. When you saw her, all the raw emotions came to the surface and I can understand that. But you can't "make" your husband put on a show in front of her. He is doing the only thing he can right now, he is with you. You won, she lost. She will have to accept that. Good luck. It takes a long time to get over an affair. It's only been 2 1/2 months. Don't let him tell you to "get over it". You are still recovering and he needs to understand that. Take good care of yourself and take it easy on yourself. Your self esteem has take a hit and you need to work on feeling good about yourself again. Your husband can't do this for you. I wish you the best of luck.

2007-10-22 10:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by casey308 2 · 0 0

Its hard I know. It may be that you both may never really move on from this point. When a man is caught cheating and is forgiven for it, he automatically thinks that you will do the same to get back at him or even. He will know that he did it and now that you are still together that there is a chance you could do the same since he has. His problem is that he knows he did something he shouldnt have and is afraid that you may want revenge or get back at him and do it yourself. I am sure that no matter how many times you tell him that there is nothing going on and he needs to stop with his guilty ways, he may not.

2016-05-24 18:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

i understand what u mean about him grabbing u kissing u front of her. i guess this would be our fantasy to show the other woman that hey this is the girl i love, and i made a huge mistake by sleeping with u. i have had those thoughts too but we as women we need to come to realization men will never think like us women or they will never feel how we feel. as far as him hiding maybe because he is so embrassed of the mess he caused and does not want to face it like a man, instead hes a coward. maybe hes been feeding her lies about ur marriage.

2007-10-22 07:49:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well first off, I am not sure why you wanted to be introduced to her. Second, he wanted to hide in case the 'other' women wanted to start a public scene with either him or you. It is probably safe to assume no one knows he cheated and he wantes to keep it that way. A public fight could be a bad thing for him. She probably still cares about him. He probaly told her he is going to leave you so he could sleep with her.
You better keep a close eye on your guy if you want this marriage to last.

2007-10-22 07:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by b_iceman2001 3 · 2 0

why would you take an adulterer like him back ? I think that he lied to you and he cheated on you and now you can forgive him . I would never take an adulterous man and a liar back . I think you should have thought twice about that and now he does not want to face her in the mall ? sounds like he lied all the way around . good luck .

2007-10-22 07:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0 0

Let me get this straight....you saw the mistress at the mall and you WANTED to be introduced to her?

Are you in love with your husband or just worried about getting one up on her?

You want to know why SHE still cares, yet YOU want him to introduce you to HER????????

You need some serious counseling.

2007-10-22 07:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0 0

Perhaps he is embarrassed...and he probably doesn't want to introduce you to someone who is obviously angry with him. Besides...why would you want to be introduced to the other woman anyway? Leave well enough alone is what I say. You got him back...whether that was the best choice or not.... only time will tell.

2007-10-22 07:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 5 · 1 0

Honey, he is jerking you around. I went through the same crap. Think about it, why would he hide. He is still at it. She may or may not know. But, God gave you instinct and you know in your heart what he is doing. There is no better advice in the world like a women's instinct. You properbly know him better than he really knows himself. Don't play his game. Trust yourself you are better than that.

2007-10-22 08:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by Sorry honey 1 · 0 0

I bet he hid like a little school girl. You need a real man.

2007-10-22 07:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Why do you think he wanted to hide. He probably lied to her too. And, she's peeved that he lied to her. But, your first mistake was taking him back.

2007-10-22 07:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by CC 6 · 4 0

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