How do you help a family member on drugs that will not go to rehab?

Question

I have a close family member (female/early 30's) that had a major cocaine/crack problem. I am not sure if she is still doing the hard stuff but she def does a LOT of pills. I am so angry at her for messing up her life that I don't even want to talk to her. She stole from our parents, lost her son, and makes no progress. She can't hold a job although every time I see her she talks about all the applications she filled out. How do you approach people like this? I feel she is selfish for putting herself 1st and not getting help to try harder to get her son back. I don't even want to be around her but she's family. Any ideas?

Answer 1

You can't ! They have to be ready to go and until then you just have to pray for them.

Answer 2

Well unfortunately there are a lot of Drugi's out there. My dad happens to have a crack/ cocaine problem. I wouldn't say i have given up on helping him but the only way the person can become heathy and stay out of all that is if they want to. Somebody can not just stop such a bad habit for someone else, it just doesn't work that way. My dad is the same way, i ask about the job he "Supposedly" has he has a excuse every time. He has stolen from me many times but when it gets this bad were you cant trust a person its not an addiction anymore, its a sickness. And a very hard drug to overcome. 1 out of 7 people stay sober when getting of this drug. What my family tells me to do is not to call him, just forget the person exists and they will finally notice what there doing wrong. Because if and while they are doing this drug and everyone just keeps in touch with this person they think its fine and its NOT!

Answer 3

Addiction is a tough illness, and as you see, it can destroy lives.

First thing you need to realize is that your feelings aren't abnormal, but it's not healthy for you to remain angry at this relative forever. It's HER problem, not yours. And while you can be concerned, supportive and make suggestions, you are really not doing yourself any favors by taking on her problems.

Your relative won't get help until SHE WANTS HELP. Just because she is family doesn't mean you have to try to improve her life. Isn't it enough just to take care of yourself and your own responsibilities?

It's sad, but the truth is, we can't "take care of" other adults.

You can do a yahoo search for the following, for more information:

COPING WITH A DRUG ADDICT
ENABLING A DRUG ADDICT
CODEPENDENCY
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
CAN I HELP A DRUG ADDICT

These searches may help you learn to cope. You can also consider attending an "open" narcotics anonymous meeting. open meetings invite the public and non-addicts in to ask questions and listen to what the meetings are all about. YOU can ask questions and probably get a lot of good, sound advice and answers from recovering addicts.

take care

Answer 4

she has a problem , a drug problems and a family that turned their back on her, ( In her mind , that probably justifies staying the way she is, In her mind, no one cares any way, and a person in her situation tend to think only of themselves , so getting her son back is not a priority, Can you help her? Well only if she is to the point where she wants help . Because she is the only one that can make the changes needed, and she has to want to bad enough.

Answer 5

you and everyone cut her off. you can not help someone like this.....they have to help them selves!
just because she is family she don't see you or her own kid as family.
jail or rehab! and jail won't help unless its for a lot of years.
my brother in law went to a rehab (he was on crack and he would shoot it up) he stayed there for about a year and has been good for about 3 years now.
there is no other way.
give her the info and leave her alone.