Is anyone else really lonely becuse they have no friends?

Question

I lost all of my friends. I lost most of them because they got into drugs and I had nothing in common with them anymore. I'm 20 years old and a college student. I'm sociable, not mean or shy. I'm really lonely and depressed and it's effecting my relationship. My boyfriend has a bunch of friends and I used to give him a hard time about going out with them because I had noone to hang out with. I stopped when I realized I was being selfish, so now I encourage him to have fun with them. But now when he goes out I sit at home with nothing to do. Anyway, what do you do to meet new friends?

Answer 1

Look for a club that has people with common interests with you and go to their meeting. Go to the library. Go to a coffee shop to do your homework. Find girlfriends on the internet. Try being kind to another female once a day and you might be surprised at their reaction... they might really like you.

Answer 2

Why don't you look in the paper and see if there are any local events that intrest you? Maybe you'll meet friends there.
And about your boyfriend, you should be first priority in his life and he should make sure you're alright. If your having depression problems and he's oblivious, it's time to have a talk with him.

Answer 3

Does your boyfriend's buddies have girlfriends? If so, you should encourage a couple's night out. You can still be with your boyfriend and meet some new female friends.

Answer 4

go out with your boyfriend and his friends everyone once in awhile...you could meet some of the other guys gfs and hang out with them...or hang out with ppl from your class...of call your old friends now that you are off drugs (i think) they might be happy to see you again....

Answer 5

Loneliness from an Existentialist Perspective.

Another characteristic of a person is loneliness. Loneliness is a feeling described as one of being on the outside, isolated and feeling alienated. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness go together. The reasons for the close relation between loneliness and emptiness are not difficult to discover because they belong to the same basic experiences of anxiety.

Perhaps we can recall the anxiety brought about by the first atom bomb that exploded in Hiroshima, when we sensed our grave danger – sensed, that we might be the last generation – but did not know in which direction to turn.

Feelings of loneliness occur when one feels empty and afraid not simply because one wants to be protected by the crowd. Here we wish only to point out that part of the feeling of loneliness that man needs relation with other people in order to orient himself.

Another important reason for the feeling of loneliness is the society’s requirement on being socially accepted. Thus we have to prove we are a social success by being forever sought after and never being alone. Well-liked individuals are usually considered as the socially successful ones.

The reverse side of modern man’s loneliness is his great fear of being alone. Temporary solitude is permissible but if it is seek for its own joys, then public says something is going wrong.

People have been afraid of loneliness and tried to escape it. Pascal observed that the great efforts people make to divert themselves to enable people to avoid thoughts of them.

The fear of loneliness in our society is manifested by the continual talk not bothered much on what is said as long as there is communication for silence is a great crime, for silence is lonely and frightening.

Very few do not have fear of death. Death served as a symbol of ultimate separation, aloneness, and isolation from the human beings. This fear of isolation may be very extreme but in our day to day experiences, most of us fear of being alone may not crop up in suddenly in intense form very often. Our fear of loneliness may not be shown by anxiety as such, but by subtle thoughts which pop up to remind us, when we discover we were not invited to so-and-so’s party, that someone else likes us even if the person in question doesn’t, to tell us that we were successful or popular in such-and-such other time in the past.

Being alone for long periods of time brings fear to loose boundaries between individuals and society. It may also loose awareness between individuals. Every human being gets much of his sense of his own reality out of what others say to him and think about him, without it they are afraid they loose the sense of their own existence.

Another kind of fear in its extreme form is the fear of psychosis, which is characterized, by a fear of loosing one’s orientation. The individual here often have an urgent need to seek out some contact with other human beings.

Social acceptance “being liked” has so much power because it holds the feelings of loneliness at bay. A person is surrounded with comfortable warmth; he is merged in the group. He is absorbed as though, he were to go back into the womb. He temporarily loses his loneliness; but it is at the price of giving up his existence as an identity in his own right. And he renounces the one thing, which would get him constructively over the loneliness in the long run, namely the developing of his own resources, strength and sense of direction, and using this as a basis for meaningful relations with others. The stuffed men are bound to become more lonely no matter how much they learn together; for hollow people do not have a base to which to learn to love.