We I'm only 16 and he just turned 18. We have been dating for a year and a little over three months now. We had sex before the first time we did was around 9 months. We only have had sex a few times. I got a little carried away and wanted to do it all the time. So we did it like 3 days in a row once. I decided I didn't want to anymore since he was saying it was too much. Then the next day he decides he wants to do it once a month. Well today I decided I didn't want to do it anymore. He is mad about me and says it doesn't make sence that I don't want to anymore. Thats alright if I don't want to right? What is going on? I think thats unfair that he can be mad about that. Thinks just don't seem as if they are working anymore. Thanks if you have advice... =]
2007-10-22 04:51:30 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
okay, for starters, who plans how much sex they're going to have? shouldn't this be about an expression of love? do you plan to only love him one day a month? okay, so you don't want any altogether. it would be nice if he respected that. he shouldn't be mad, he should be investing in ky. otherwise, i think this whole planning thing is just plain unnatural. you should have sex when you're in the mood!
2007-10-22 06:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by Heather Honey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What happened between you two was rape. He raped you and there's no way around that. If you say no or just don't say anything, it's considered rape. The only way you can have sex without it being rape is if you verbally say YES. If you're about to have sex because you said yes earlier but then you change your mind and say no and he doesn't stop, it's considered rape. It's not your fault. He took advantage of you and you are not to blame. You aren't alone; 1 in 4 college girls are raped. Do not suffer with this alone any longer! You can talk to a counselor, your mom/dad, or even call the police and let them deal with it. Everything is going to be okay. If you love someone, you don't do anything that would hurt them intentionally. You need to leave him, but don't breakup alone. Meet him in a public place with your friends or with a trusted adult. You deserve SO much better and you do not want to marry someone like him. Best wishes xx
2016-05-24 04:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by iva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can understand his confusion & frustration in a way. You went from wanting it all the time to not wanting anything at all after he said that it was too much. He's probably thinking that this is all because of what he said & that you are probably doing it to make him angry.
If you are genuinely interested in waiting until later for some reason (marraige, for instance), then just tell him. Let him know that while you do not regret having sex with him that you think that you were too young emotionally to have sex & that you think that you should wait for a while longer or until marraige to have sex.
In the end, yes, it is your decision since it is your body. Your body, your rules. Don't ever feel like you have to be pressured into sex. Just be careful about it & make sure to communicate your reasons behind your decisions well to your boyfriend & don't just tell him & expect him to understand. If after you explain your reasons to him he still doesn't understand, then maybe he's in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
2007-10-22 04:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the sort of stuff that happens that causes adults to feel teenagers shouldn't be having sex. That and all the potential issues (like getting pregnant).
There's nothing wrong with telling him "no."
You have sent some mixed messages to him, and I suspect you're going to change your mind about all this a few times. That makes things difficult for him -- he doesn't know what to expect.
You're 16. Chances are very slim this is the guy you're going to want to marry. Do you want to risk getting pregnant at 16? Do you have plans to graduate high school, go to college, build a career? Getting pregnant can ruin those plans for you.
So you need to decide what's important, and then follow through on that decision.
2007-10-22 04:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well in all honesty, at your age, you shouldn't be having sex at all. There is no way you can comprehend love and sex should be about love not lust. Now that your already in the situation you should understand how your man could be upset by the situation, but it's plain and simple. If he cares about you and respects you. he will stop trying to force you (don't misinterpret that - he'll still try to fool around with you he just won't talk about it) but if he doesn't you need to get out of that relationship NOW before it gets messy.
2007-10-22 05:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by joshuajdrew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's the thing young people fail to consider...once you have sex with someone you can't go back to just holding hands.
3 days in a row is too much for an 18 year old guy??? He's at his sexual prime and 3 days in a row is too much???? What's up with that??
2007-10-22 04:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by Tish 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well.. you put the candy in front of the baby, and now you want to take it away! Yes.. he is angry at you right now! But you did not mention anything about protection? Hopefully you have been using it right? You are going to have a difficult time now I think with holding sex from him I think! I hope you can come to some kind of agreement here, but you may want to discuss this dilema with your parents.. Remember.. he is 19, and in some states it is statuatory rape! Good luck in the future for you both :)
2007-10-22 04:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you no I'm in the same situation ,I'm alot older but i can tell you things still stay the same. I've been with my guy 4rs he loves to have sex constantly and now its stating to work my nerves to the point where i don't even want it no more thou i still love hI'm im tiered of all the sex stuff now he's aggravated,so i say that to say that's good don't make sex your primary source to your relation ship cause then in the end that's all what it will be about with no room for love and if that's all what counts in your relationship then you should look for someone who's in tune with you on your level
2007-10-22 05:15:17 · answer #8 · answered by another sass 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i married that guy-girl get the hell out of that relationship you are too young to be with someone you don't want sex with. I stuck to the guy out of some kind of stupid loyalty thing, when I asked to stop having sex when I was 17 he was mad and I gave in. Maybe you just want to step back and get to know him as a person. If he doesnt want to do that DUMP him. =)
2007-10-22 04:59:11 · answer #9 · answered by awabakil t 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea i mean its ur choice but thats not fair to him i can understand cutting it down but not cutting it out all together me n my bf of 2 years used to do it everyday sometimes a couple times a day and now im just not in the mood all the time and he gets mad and i hate that but its not like i said ok we're not gonna do it anymore plus if ur attracted to him it wont last long u'll want it too
2007-10-22 04:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by jas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋