Maybe we should change the way we think about it? It should be a healthy thing, right?
2007-10-22 04:33:28 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's really tricky because my husband told me a man and woman are never really true friends some one is always attracted to the other. I think you can be friends just be careful no boundaries are crossed.
2007-10-22 04:41:28 · answer #1 · answered by juv 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see a problem with having friends who are the opposite gender by an accident of birth. Where the problem comes in is when said friends are hidden from spouses or significant others. People who can't see the suspicion of hiding opposite-gender friends from their loved ones truly need to be hit over the head with a clue-by-four.
But where a bigger problem comes in is when said person is open about the friends that truly are just friends, and then the spouse/SO gets unreasonably jealous and tries to make the person feel guilty about a wrongdoing that never happens...which of course could lead to a lot of arguing and may in some cases drive the person to sleep with their friend purely out of rebellion...as immature a way as that may be of dealing with a bad relationship situation.
As you can see, it's easy to perpetuate a vicious circle with people who are insecure about themselves and their relationships. But if such a circle really does start, then the relationship was shaky to start with and probably should be broken up anyway.
2007-10-22 04:45:27 · answer #2 · answered by Vangorn2000 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe it's OK to have friends of the opposite sex as long as there are no alternative motives involved. For example, If the husband/wife has an interested or in any way attracted to their friend, then it can be a potential problem. Also, what if the attraction is reverse, the friend is attracted to the husband/wife, you don't think that they may act on their emotions especially if they know if they are having problems in their marriage? As they say "friends makes the best lovers." If a husband/wife would like to hang around their friends more than their spouse, I would think something wrong with that picture in a sense that their spouse must not be making them happy if they have to come and hang out with me. It's the frequency that they spend time with their opposite sex friends I believe may cause a problem, not that they have opposite sex friends.
2007-10-22 04:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by bitterly_sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not a problem to have friends of the opposite sex, but all relationships should be reevaluated once a person gets married. Usually one of the two in the friendship harbors some sort of fleeting wonder what it would be like to be intimate. Not always, but usually. Just be totally honest and keep it friendly but causual. If you are spending more time with your "friend" of the opposite sex than your own spouse, that is smoke waiting to turn into a fire.
2007-10-22 04:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by Brittney 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok for those of you who said to keep your friends the same sex and that you can't have a best friend that's the opp...WTF???? Like seriously. There should be NO problem with whatever sex your friends are. Some of the best friends that I have are guys, and they listen just as well as a girl can...and sometimes can give better advice if its a guy problem. If you both trust eachother then there should be no reason why there should be a limit on what sex your friends are. You shouldn't have to cut out all your friends of the opposit sex just because your bf/gf/husband/wife is insecure.
Now, if you've done something to make them insecure and have trust issues...then that's your problem you brought that on yourself. But if you've always been faithful, etc, there shouldn't be an issue.
2007-10-22 04:49:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i do no longer understand what God says approximately having friends of the choice intercourse. What i understand is that in case you're happy with the way issues are on your marriage and existence, then you definately shouldn't trouble approximately making new friends. If it hurts your husband that badly, then this is peobably no longer properly worth it, and vice versa. besides the shown fact that, i'm useful which you each and every take your vows heavily, and don't opt to stray out of your marriage. subsequently, merely making a chum of the choice intercourse shouldn't remember, neither could the different guy or woman's intentions. in case you think of that they choose some thing greater, then enable them to appreciate there is no danger. in the event that they persist, then they do no longer seem to be your pals to start with.
2016-10-04 08:39:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it's hard for opposite sex people to be friends unless there is absolutely no sexual attraction. Usually one, the other or both people end up feeling more than just simple friendship (I know not always, that's why I say usually). If you are married it complicates it simply because I think just about everyone feels that eventually it may turn sexual, so spouses tend to frown upon opposite sex friends.
Should it be a good thing to be able to have friends of the opposite sex? I suppose so, but at the same time, it is what it is. My husband is OK with me being friends with men that he is friends with (mainly because any contact I have with them is around him and he can monitor it), but if I had a male friend that he didn't know, I think he would be upset with that. And I admit I am the same way. If he is talking to another woman, I want to know who she is so I can judge for myself what her motives may be. You can call it what you like, jealousy, insecurity, or whatever. I call it being practical.
2007-10-22 04:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its becuz your wife is either insecure about herself worrying that if you have friends from the opposite sex,there will be a chance that you will cheat on her.
I'm one of these people who was afraid when my husband met some new gals. I know they are just friends and all the gals know he is married but the tension on my side is high. He doesn't go up to gals or attempt to know them, the ones he met are through work and clients.So I don't really stop him plus I have friends from the opposite sex too whom I know before I met my husband and he never stop me from continuing the friendship.
I come to terms now that having friends from the opposite sex doesn't mean anything. If your partner wants to cheat, they will find their own way. It can be with anyone and not among their circle of friends. I just be the best wife I can be and my husband and I try our best to keep our love alive.
Just make sure you share your secrets with your wife and not with the friends only. Your wife must be the ultimate person that you feel closest to & once she knows that,you both can have many friends from the opposite sex and it won't be a big deal.
2007-10-22 04:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by beauty guru 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its where the line gets drawn on the definition of "friends" and how the person feels about their friends. How they handle it. My ex got so close to his "friend" that apart from not having sex with her (and I'm not 100% sure about that) he was in more of a relationship with her than with me! You are friends with a person because you like them, you have feelings for them, and sometimes that can go a bit far and you can get too attached, in the wrong way, when its a member of the opposite sex. It takes something away from the relationship you have with your partner then.
2007-10-22 04:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by Wonderwoman 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's only a problem if the opposite sex friendship begins AFTER you're already married.
I still keep in touch with my guy friends from college (in fact, one of them was at our wedding!) and my husband still talks to his female friends from high school. Neither of us are jealous because we understand that the friendships go back many years; and it wouldn't be right to break them off just because we're married.
However, if my husband were to suddenly strike up a friendship with another woman, and the two of them were to go out together without me; I would have problems with it. I expect that he would also have problems with me doing the same thing with another man.
2007-10-22 05:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Usually it isn't a problem to have friends of the opposite sex. Where it gets tricky is what you do with these friends. If you are hanging out on her couch watching movies, that may be a problem. What does this friend do for you or give you that your wife doesn't. Basically it boils down to this. If you are doing this with this friend that you could be/ or should be doing with your wife then you have issues. Husbands and Wives should be best friends. If your wife hates hockey and you and your friend go catch a hockey game once in awhile it shouldn't be an issue. Often times we gather friends close to us in our single days to fill the void of a sig other. Once you have found your sig other, then you either have to rethink the friendships or include your sig other in them.
2007-10-22 04:41:12 · answer #11 · answered by L H 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋