She is 25 years old and she loves a man that is almost double her age. He likes her as well, but I think she is doing something that she will regret. I just need some major advice on how she could understand my point of view.
2007-10-22 04:20:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
she has been married before and it was a rough divorce, i just dont want to see her hurt again. she has been divorced 3 years.
2007-10-22 04:26:27 · update #1
she is wanting a baby with him if that clarifies something
2007-10-22 04:28:53 · update #2
I know it can be hard to understand why your friend would want to be with someone so much older. From personal experience, when my best friend and I were 20, she started dating someone who was in his 40s. He had a daughter, a house, was divorced. I thought it was really strange that she would like this guy. So I told her what I thought. I should have kept my mouth shut, because we're 30 now, they are still together and we hardly ever talk anymore, except a letter or a christmas card. Women are funny when they are in love. So unless he is hurting her, its your job to listen to how wonderful he is and just nod and smile. If you value your friendship thats the best thing you can do.
2007-10-22 04:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jesse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally get what you're saying. We've got to go over all aspects of it, but you might have already done that. She'll probably have a difficult time understanding your point of view because she's in love. Think of it this way, she might be very happy and he actually might be the man for her regardless of age. If they communicate well and he is loyal, what can you do? She's going to want you to respect her choice. As long as you say it politely and with respect, you have the right to tell her what you think as a friend. You probably think she needs someone young and fresh that she can take home to her parents and have children with in the future. But if their relationship is positive, it's hard to put up a defense of why it isn't right besides the age unless she's dropping her dreams and goals for the man. I don't know all the factors, but good luck!
2007-10-22 11:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is in love. She won't understand your point of view. The best advise I can give you is to back off. Be there to support her if she needs you. I know some women who are happily married to men twice their age and I know some who it didn't work out for. There is really nothing you can do about it. Her relationship isn't necessarily doomed to fail. Be a good friend and butt out.
Also, this shouldn't be posted in trying to conceive or parenting.
Does he also want a baby with her? What is the problem? I have a friend whose husband is 27 years older than her and they have 2 kids.
2007-10-22 11:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be understanding. You cant tell someone who to love or not love. My cousin married a man 22 years older than her and we all thought it would never work out. They are still together after 10 years. Age doesnt always have to dictate the person you are with.
Plus if it is a mistake for her, she will find out and hopefully grow from the experience. Thats life!
2007-10-22 12:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by potato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is express your feelings and concerns. I have come to realize that no matter how much you want a person to do as you are advising, they are going to do what they want to do anyway. Hopefully they will take your advice. I have a couple of friends that have strayed the wrong way because they didn't take my advice and I have a few that are ok because they did. And vice versa. So, it's up to the person and the situation. Good luck on that sweetie.
2007-10-22 11:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about the incompatibility of a huge age gap in the relationship and problems that may arise due to it.
If she is thinks that they can handle the problems to come etc. Then, let her be. If she is happy with the guy and he's decent (not a druggy and all that mess) that is all that matters. You might never know if the relationship will last or not. Just be there for her if the relationship would not last.
2007-10-22 11:34:51 · answer #6 · answered by banshee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could sell your idea to a more practical angle; it really won't be a lasting relationship considering that by the time she's 50, he'll be about 75 years old.
But you also said he likes her, maybe you should also consider the idea that they are meant to be. Carefully assess the situation; it may not be your place to intervene.
2007-10-22 11:31:32 · answer #7 · answered by J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are 13 years apart and happily married. Honestly, since when is it your business who she falls in love with. If you are a friend you will be there no matter what. Express yourself and then backoff.
2007-10-22 11:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by 0202 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You Can't... Just be there as a friend.
Make sure you let her know, not to settle for
anything less than what she wants.
Those are the only words that got to me in that situation.
2007-10-22 11:25:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She probably will not listen to a thing that you say. What does her parents say> She probably will not listen to them either. My advice is just be there if she needs you.
Hey it may work. Alot of the May-December things do.
2007-10-22 11:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋