My husband told me he no longer wants to make whoopee with me because I'm "overweight and smell".

Question

That really makes me feel bad about myself. I admit that I'm about 30 pounds overweight and I do like spicy foods. He says I always smell like garlic, excrement, or lotions. I love him, but sometimes I wish I wasn't married. It's hell on your self-esteem.

Answer 1

It is not what he says that is ruining your self -esteem. It is your own self-image. You need to fix how you feel about yourself first, and then he will be more interested in intimacy.

Get on a program and lose some weight, change your hairstyle and start dressing nicer and bathing more often. Cut out the garlic, which should not be a problem with losing weight. Let your loved one see you are making an effort to become the woman he once married again.

Good Luck

Answer 2

maylbe u need to freshing up a bit after u eat those things.who isn't alittle over weight or by much.don't settle with it never give up on trying to lose the weight .as far as the foods if it's seeping through your poors like that maybe u need to cut down.its about pleasing one another,not being selfish.not saying u r.almost in every thing u do u need to think about the other person.your husband was cruel for saying what he saidbut yet forgive him these things happen.I would chamnge some things ,if someone smells u that's not good.if your over weight u need a little more than just 1 shower .freshing up at least 2 more times a day.ignore his comments about the lotions a woman should always smell of lotions and parfum's.don't give him none until he opologizes.do u for a while and bring that self esteem back up.by you something new or put on your best atire make a few runs .some times u have to remind a man what he has.(play a little hard to get.seems childish but it works.always do what you have to do to smell fresh.also use alittle make up .make yourself feel pretty.I don't care how over weight you get never let no one tear you down.

Answer 3

What you should do is change the way you do things. Being overweight even slightly may be rough on your health. Maybe trying to eat healthier and staying away from spicy foods. I'm sure it's tough but your husband needs to understand that everyone has a weakness and yours may just be food. I would suggest searching for good healthy recipes first. Doing this will make you feel better about yourself and thats what you need to focus on first. Forget about your spouse. He should not be telling you things like this. He should love you no matter what you look or smell like. Make yourself get healthier and this will make you feel better about yourself. It may take a bit of time and sweat but it will pay off. Once your husband realizes how much you've changed he'll change. This is if you still want to be with him. You don't have to, though. If someone you care about inside and out doesn't like you the same you probably shouldn't be with that person. Make the change for yourself. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Is that the only negative statement he has made about you? Does he put you down in front of others?

I can understand that gaining 30 pounds would not be a great addition. I do not see smelling like garlic or lotions as negative. I see a big issue with describing your wife as smelling like excrement. Either you are not cleaning yourself after using the restroom or this is an abuse case.

Take a look at what he said as if he said it about someone else and if it does not fit for you, then you need to get away from him.

I would tend to believe that you need to get away from him now before the abuse gets worse.

Take care and Good Luck,
Troy

Answer 5

Wow... I can't believe he just came out and said that! It should be unconditional love, but men are visual creatures... All I can say is even if you're a little over weight, you can look good! Do your hair, accent a little with make up, you know, just look good. You can also hit the gym, or go for a walk in the evening, its getting to be pretty nice weather out there. Its not only going help maintain/loose weight, but you'll feel good too. As for the way you smell, take a bubble bath and relax in the evening, keep up on showers and find a different lotion. You could also keep mints by the bed.

On a side note, at least he is talking to you, it may not be what you want to hear, but its better than him "leaning" on another woman and her picking up on his "needs" and his having an affair.

Just go back to the mindset of when you were dating. I know for me, I got kind of laid back and it started to show in my relationship... I now get dolled up for me. It makes me feel good to have a nice shower, a bit of makeup, some perfume, some lotion and of course the look I get when I come down stairs and that smile from my husband... I feel good and then he makes sure I know he noticed and that makes me feel great!

Answer 6

Well I agree with you and your husband.


First:

You're old. People age and get smelly and overweight. He shouldn't disrespect u like that if he's married to you. I would ***** slap him in the face for that.

Second:

Well stop eating a lot, lose weight, and bathe. He wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. I mean he's your husband. So if you don't wanna divorce from him i suggest u have a strict diet plan, and bathe if u wanna do "whoopee" with him.

I think I had the best answer than all of these answers combined!

Answer 7

Tell him to get the hell out of your life.......I bet he's no Brad Pitt (or insert other gorgeous person as applicable) It's disgusting that he could talk to you like that.

Also, ignore all these other on here that are on about losing weight and brushing your teeth........whats a bit of garlic????

If he was THAT bothered, he would make an effort to eat it too, cos if both of you have it then neither of you can smell it..............OR he would the one making something to eat for the both of you and leaving the garlic out. It's really difficult to eat something nowadays without it having some sort of spice in it.

I think he's just saying stuff like this to make you feel bad about yourself, and we all have a prob with our self esteem without someone who is supposed to love and protect us being the cause!!!

Answer 8

So I assume that your husband has a perfect body and his excrement smells like Polo..

It never occurred to me that this was an acceptable thing to say to your spouse (though I have on occasion thought it). Obviously he doesn't give a d*mn about your feelings or he would have found another way to say the same thing.

Go to a counselor if you want to save your marriage but I don't think anyone would blame you if you didn't.

Answer 9

Tell him it hurts your feelings but then also try to make some changes in yourself. At least he's being honest and not just shunning you for no apparent reason. Some people need to shower more than once a day and some of those lotions do smell pretty rank. You also need to find out whether he will support you in your efforts to change these things. If not, move on...

Answer 10

That was rude for him to say. I know you already feel bad enough for the weight you gained and him saying stuff like that could make you depressed and want to eat more. Try to get out do things you like to do and make your self happy and you might start to lose a few pounds for your self. I am sure you are bathing and don't smell he is just being rude. Guys like us to stay the way they met us but it just does not always happened that way.