Will I ever be able to have a baby?

Question

Hello. I'm a 20 year old woman living in the UK. My partner is 21. We are planning on marrying next year and want to start a family shortly after.

However, we only earn £29k a year between us, this pays for our food, mortgage, bills. We have about £350 left per month after we pay these costs.

If I get pregnant, I can only have 9 months maternity leave, then I have to return to work, as my partners salary alone is not enough pay both of our share of the bills and support a baby.

Most girls who get pregnant at work, have their families look after their baby when they return to work but me and partner have nobody to do that for us, plus I feel it's important I be with the baby.

He earns £15k which is too much to claim benefits but isn't enough to support us both and a baby. He'll need to be on £33k +

It'll take over a decade for him to be earning that!!

Does that mean I can never have a baby??

Answer 1

You have many many years still to plan your family. If finances came into the decision to have a baby or not, I don't think any of us would have a baby.
It can be hard financially but you do manage and sometimes returning to work just part time can make a difference. You budget and stick to it, cutting out luxuries like Sky TV and don't buy your favourite ice cream as often or buy new clothes at all!
You will find that because you love your baby so much you would do any thing for them. You buy for them and not you for a start!
You have a whole positive lovely future ahead of you. Look forward to being pregnant and having your babies - they are the best purpose in life!

Answer 2

Young lady money is only an issue if you want it to be,

My wife is 17 weeks pregnant and in the last two years we have paid out for a wedding and invested in a new house quadrupling our mortgage.

We are 26 and 24 respectively and yes earn more than you and your partner but nothing over the average. Money will only hinder you (not stop) having a baby if you wish to live a lifestyle over and above you means. If you are content with what you have ie each other, love, jobs, house etc then it will not be a problem just a bit of hard work, thorough planning and alot of love.

I sympathised with your dilemma of having no support especially from families but there are always ways and means of working around this. There are groups out there to support new mother and families like Sure Start to name one.

Dont be put off buy money. If you and your partner feel it is right and it meant to be then it will happen and all you should be worrying about is enjoying it.

Best of luck to ya.

Answer 3

Why not split the difference between having a baby now and not being able to afford it and waiting until you are sure you have enough income. Get married and wait 3 or 4 years. That will give you time to enjoy married life. During that time, focus on your jobs and try to make more money. If your partner has to wait ten years to make more money, maybe a new job or some training would be a good idea. That is something that you could work on during those 3 or 4 years. Also, try to live on the least amount possible during those years. You could create a baby fund and when the fund gets big enough you are allowed to have a baby.

Answer 4

what the hell?! 15k is a lot from where im standing, it can support you and a baby with no problem. there are lots of people who live off benefits and survive, they dont get nearly as much as that either. you dont 'need' 33k+, its possible to budget and cope without things if you want a baby that much sacrafices need to be made. there isnt every a right time to have a baby and no amount of money is enough. it doesnt mean you shouldnt have a baby. i wish i earned nearly as much as your partner, but i dont and i will still make it. saying you 'only' earn 29k a year is a bit off putting for some, thats probably more than double than half of us will ever get in our lifetime so you are very lucky and should be greatful. if you want a baby have one you will cope financially no matter what, plus 350 left over a month is great i wish i had that, i have less than 100 left over and still manage to pay out for everything.

Answer 5

Well the good thing is you do have time on your side - I was 27 when I met my husband! I was 30 when I had my first child and 33 when I had my second. Now I know that you don't want to wait that long but you don't have to - you never know what's round the corner and I'm sure you and your boyfriend will work out between the two of you when it's the right time to start a family. It's very hard right now for people starting out especially as all you hear in the media is about how difficult it is for people starting out in life!!

But it sounds like you're doing fine, and your salaries will increase. I'm sure you will find a way to manage and in the meantime, just enjoy your relationship with each other, and all the rest will fall into place in time.

Answer 6

You will qualify for family tax credits...have you looked into this? Google it and theres an online form where they work out what you would get if you applied.
Bear in mind that you can always get a part time job in the evening instead of going back to work in the day...this is what I did. I worked three evenings a week whilst my husband looked after the baby. But dont worry too much...people get by and at 20 you can afford to wait till you're a bit older and maybe youll be earning more in 5 years...start saving up now.

Answer 7

Since you are just beginning your lives as a couple, I'd wait a couple of years before planning a family. Too many couples have babies right away, and miss out on just being a couple. As a couple, you can learn about one another, have fun, and go places much easier than if you had a baby. Enjoy your freedom. You have plenty of time to be a mom & dad. By the time you're ready to be a family, you'll be in a different place, and know how to make things work. My experience has been that you can never afford babies. But, everyone seems to manage once they have them. Don't hurry to be a family. Enjoy your couple time. <*)))><

Answer 8

depends on what sort of life you want your baby to lead? I know that waiting seems awful especially when your body tells you not to. But ten years is not long. I am 30, i have been married for over a year and now my husband and i can finally have a baby as everything is so much better than it was five years ago when we met. You are 20 and still a baby. no offense but i think back to what i knew when i was 20 and i can tell you that you might not be able to handle the mental aspect as well as the financial aspect of having a baby. Just wait a few years...see what happens.

Answer 9

having a baby is only as expensive as you make it.. buy second hand clothes/pram etc...to cut down on costs, 9 months maternity leave is a good start but i think you are able to extend this to a year. there are some very reasonable and reputable childminders out there who will help look after your child, also if you are able to go back to work part time its a bonus. is there any way your bf can get a better paid job, if not people find a way of living as a family with a child and you are one of them! maybe hold off having a child until your financially better off, but dont put it off forever, you will be fine!! xx

Answer 10

No it doesnt mean you can never have a baby :)

Im a mum to a 2 year old, im 22 and im on a very low wage of £4k a year, my partner earns £14k a year! and we manage , of course with the help of tax credits and child benefit.

go on www.entitledto.com to check out benefits if you stopped working for a bit to raise a child, im sure you would get some help.

Good luck