I have been with my bf for 8 years (we are high school sweethearts) We have lived together for almost 5 years. I know we are considered married (he filed me as his spouse on income tax). Things have gone sour and he has become physically violent. I am going to sign an arrest warrant today but I am going to make him divorce me. Is this the best thing for me to do? He owns his own business and has provided a lot of support for me and my child. My car is in his name only and I am scared to death about having rent to pay and other bills. I have never been good at managing finances. I know I can do it because my child depends on me. I just don't know if this is going to be the best route or not. Any advice is appreciated.
2007-10-22 03:05:09 · 11 answers · asked by nikki 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie, if he's abusive in any way you need to get the hell out of this relationship, NOW! You can't make him divorce you, you will have to file for the divorce. Is the child his? He has to pay support! If you take the car and leave, file for divorce, the judge will probably give the car to you and require him to sign it over. There are organizations that can help you with planning your finances, don't let that deter you. Hon, this is the only route! Once he has become physically violent with you, you are in danger of loosing your life. It's on the news nearly every day! Get out now.
2007-10-22 03:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it is what you must do (since Alabama is one of the 15 states (& DC) that recognizes common law marriage). If you don't you will have to be treated as though you were still married but not living together which can be a serious disadvantage to you. For example, you might have to file your income tax as Married Filing Separately which could be a significant difference in the tax you owe and/or are due as a refund. Also, if you ever decide to marry you'd be a bigamist without a divorce.
"There is no such thing as common-law divorce. Once parties are married, regardless of the manner in which their marriage is contracted, they are married and can only be divorced by appropriate means in the place where the divorce is granted. That means, in all 50 states, only by a court order. "
2007-10-22 03:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by PixieMS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money and financial security will do you and your child little good if you are in fact dead or in the hospital. LEAVE HIM. You do not need to get a divorce. Per Alabama law, only if you were married under "old common law tradition," do you have to petition the court for a divorce. If there was no such event and you've only lived together, you can leave as easily as you entered into this. You can easily learn to manage your finances. You can petition the court for support for both you and the child, including your car (you can ask for the car.) Yes, this the best thing for you to do. I wish you the best.
2007-10-22 03:19:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't add you to DEERS as "common law married". The military only recognizes marriage certificates issued by some competent legal authority like a county or city government. The person you spoke to on the base didn't know what he was talking about. I had a similar case overseas. A military retiree died. He had married and bore two children with his Japanese wife. Unfortunately, he never divorced the lady he left behind in the States. She got the right to bury him. Not his Japanese wife or her children. In the case you cite, his current wife (and the only legally recognized by the Department of Defense) is his lawful spouse. You better keep an eye on your mailbox. Filing a joint return without the benefit of a marriage certificate is fraud against the Federal government. The IRS might decide to go after both of you.
2016-03-13 04:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a common law wife means you cannot get a legal divorce, you can just walk away.
As for belongings, if he bought it, then it is his and not being married means you don't get anything.
If he is the father of your child you can take him to court and make him pay child support.
As for your being afraid of having to manage a budget to pay bills, there are support groups and credit counselors that you can call to help you set up budgets and help you meet your responsibilites. The link below will allow you to research a group that can help you.
Good Luck
2007-10-22 03:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Before you start divorce procedures, you guys need to find out if your marriage can be fixed. Does he love you? If he still loves you, then you need to find out how you can fix his abusive behaviour. Something must be triggering it and that needs to get fixed. If you can talk with him it might be wise suggesting to him if he is willing to get on some kind of a counselling program to help eliminate his anger. If he refuses then you have a good ground to divorce him
2007-10-22 03:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course this is the best route as he is physically violent with you you need to get yourself and your son out of there NOW and press charges you may end up with nothing as you were not legally married but then the judge could grant you half since together for 5 years not sure talk to a lawyer or go to the local DSS department and find help
good luck
2007-10-22 03:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
also from al. i was faced with the same situation. i did not persue anything,due to him being in law enforcement,but i did check out some options.one that you may check into further was passed on to me from an attorney.he stated that there is a law that entitles you to have up to one half of what you aqired during your co-habitation. he told me this law (cant think of the title right now, easy to look up though)also applies to platonic roomate situations also. dont let him walk off with everything like i did, you will always regret it!
2007-10-22 03:21:54 · answer #8 · answered by deb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer check out at least three different ones do not take the first one, a lot of lawyers have free consolation on the first visit, so make a list of questions before you go.
2007-10-22 03:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way....
Its be with him: have your car, house, not pay bills im guessing. but be abused, your child watching him hit you.
Or be without him: youll have a roof over your head, food to eat, might not be the best but it will feed your child. Teach your child not to be like the father or take any abuse like you have!
think about your child, not yourself. Our children are our future.
Good luck. Take care
2007-10-22 03:11:23 · answer #10 · answered by mizmaryjane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋