My husbands daughter lives in NZ with her mother. We have recently found out that she is pregnant. We cannot say however we are suprised considering the ex-wifes behaviour, she is not the greatest role model. She has a files with welfare in just about every state in OZ, and no sooner did she arrive in NZ to live about 2 months later she had a file with them as well. (yes we tried to get custody, but lost, thats another story)..
Anyway we recently found out that the daughter is pregnant and she is only 14 years old. My husband is fuming (obviously). As the legal age to have sex is 16 in NZ does anyone know who we report this to? Is this another welfare matter or a police matter? Any help is appreciated!
We have concerns for her....
Ive tried looking on the net for information but havent been able to find anything..
2007-10-22 03:00:46 · 12 answers · asked by Rach 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I should mention we arent meant to know this information...we recieved a phone call today from the grandmother informing us of what is happening...we are always the last to know...this is also a 14yr old girl with a history of supplying/using drugs, has been in trouble for stealing etc...
As for applying for custody again, unfortunately, we wont be doing that. We cannot afford to go there again, we are still in debt and to be honest, you have to know when to pick your battles. We cant go through this all again just for welfare to tell the mother to do a parenting course and everything will be ok...(this is a woman with 6 kids to 4 different fathers)...its all about the money..
Sorry i know it sounds bitchy and like im being harsh, but unfortuntley there are people like her in the world....
2007-10-22 03:21:59 · update #1
Off track BUT...
we are NOT trying to cause trouble, we dont need to, it happens all on its own for this family.
When someone disappears with your kids and you cant find them, it rips at your heart..
finally after 4 years of NO contact the federal police call to tell you they have found them and arrested the mother at the airport because she was trying to leave the country with the kids its scary..ESPICALLY when the kids have been told you are DEAD.
Recently, NZ courts have found her to be less then honest and not credible as a witness...
They continue to give her chances though to "help" herself by attending classes as they do not wish to seperate the kids.
After 10 years and $45,000 in courts etc we have nothing left to fight with. DOCS in OZ and CYFS in NZ have recommend the kids reside with us, but the courts went against them...
Would be nice to help out the daughter more but with little interaction and a mother that blocks our every move its a little hard...
2007-10-22 04:13:08 · update #2
Sounds like an opportunity to re-open the custody hearings. I can't imagine a 14-year old pregnancy will cast the mother's "parenting" in a good light.
As for reporting it, what's the point? Maybe she had some 16-17-year old boyfriend and the dumb kids did what comes naturally when nobody is keeping an eye out. Is that something to get a kid thrown in prison for, and ruin his life? The villain here is obviously the mother, not some dumb kid who knocked-up his girlfriend.
2007-10-22 03:07:08 · answer #1 · answered by David Carrington Jr. 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
to report it? im a mother of a 16yr old girl and a 15 yr old boy... reporting it will only get the daughter and her boyfriend in trouble. u dont say how old the boy is. maybe hes only 15 or 16yrs old. and to be honest dont u think these 2 kids are going to have tons of trouble now. and reporting it will only turn the daughter against u. shes having sex young thats very true but u say ur not shocked cause of her mom. maybe having sex was her way to feel loved. maybe her and the boyfriend really love each other. u have no clue. her father needs to visit and talk to his daughter. i dont see how u lost getting custody. at an age the child can tell who she wants to live with. the problem is already there. now u need to support her and im not talking money wise but to be there she will need u. the boys parents should be told about this and they need to step up to the plate until their son is old enough. u cant judge now. u need to be there for her. i know ur thinking great she screwed her life up. but trying to tear her and the boyfriend apart will bring them closer. and no matter what u or anyone say they will have to be together one way or another cause now they are bringin a baby into this world. the mother cant get into any trouble unless she was pimpin the daughter out.. or the boy is over 18yrs old. if thats the case its rape and u call the local police. good luck. think wisely before u speak to her. u dont want to lose her.
2007-10-22 03:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless the guy is 18 or older the authorities can't do anything. I wish I could give Ty'sdad 10 thumbs up. He hit the nail on the head with his answer. Quit placing blame the mom and place it where it belongs. Even with crappy parents a child still makes they ultimate decision to have sex/not have sex, to use/not use drugs, to steal/not steal. Your step-daughter needs support from EVERYONE. It's a little late to start pointing fingers. Obviously the courts didn't think your husband was a much better parent or he would have won custody.
2007-10-22 06:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To do anything the person that is pregnant has to want to admit in a court of law what her mother or whatever let her or exposed her to do. Other wise you can't do anything - becuse you can't run a trial with no witnessess. If she is willing to do this well then get in contact with a laywer and go to faimly court and testify the parent is unfit to take care of the kid.
And sence medical records are confidentail you won't be able to do anything with out the kids consent. Good luck.
2007-10-22 03:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by RWAR. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you!!
Get in contact with the Department of Children's services in your state and they can give you the information you need. You should report it to both the welfare and the police. DOCS will no doubt contact the police, any how. Her mother could also face charges.
Hope it all works out
2007-10-22 03:09:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are a very mean and vindicative person. all you want to do is cause trouble and there is nothing to be gained.... if your husband can't get custody then he might have problems too or maybe because you would also be a horrible step parent. mind your own business.
2007-10-22 03:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by howie r 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not up to you but your husband to do something. And honestly, there's nothing he can do if she has legal custody. Why doesn't your husband call and talk to the ex regarding their daughter? Maybe at this time she would welcome some help from him in regards to this. My advise to you is to let him handle this situation with his daughter and his daughters mother.
2007-10-22 05:58:08 · answer #7 · answered by m d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After everyone has placed blame, I hope this young person gets some GOOD help to get her through the pregnancy and birth and whatever afterward.
2007-10-22 03:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by tysdad62271 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what reporting it s going to help but you should try and get custody of her again. Whatever you do no abortions.
2007-10-22 04:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by I luv my Haterz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why bother reporting it? It's not like she was raped. She made the stupid decision to have sex and now has to face the consequences.
2007-10-22 03:21:08 · answer #10 · answered by xchasingsummerx 5 · 3⤊ 3⤋