my husband is navy and is divorcing me after being married for a year and ahalf and says he only has to pay me spousal support one time. i'm not sure he's had a affair i have some proof but it may not be enough, cause i know the military frowns on that. what we have is a house two vehicles and a loan all of which he is the primary, i am the co on one vehicle and the loan. do i have to pay any of this debt since he is primary. he wants to split it down the middle but he's broken my heart and i want to leave it all with him because he thinks divorce is going to be easy, and for what he has put me through i think he deserves all this debt. we have no children, i just wanted to know a few things about military divorce before i get a lawyer and restart my life, he wants to file uncontested but i'm comp against this and am claiming adultery and mental abuse, i'm not sure if you can request he get alcohol and anger help in a divorce he really needs it, he has broken my heart !!! please help
2007-10-22 02:55:03 · 11 answers · asked by born2ride04 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in your same situation only I had two children. We were married before he joined the Navy but soon afterward he completely changed. I did not want to believe he would cheat but guess what? He did. I did get an uncontested divorce but you need to be in charge and make sure you get what you want. Don't be negligent and get stuck with bills, debt, etc. If your not getting at least 6mo sposal support to help you get on your feet you need to get a lawyer and have him served. Ask he assume the loan on one vehicle or sell it and you keep one. Opt to give him the house. I am stuck right now with a house I can't sell because of the extreme decline in the housing market. Opt to let him have the house and sign a QuitClaim releasing yourself from the loan. If he won't do the following get a lawyer girl! If your name is on any notes, even if he is the primary you are still accountable for the debt if he defaults. My best advise is get a good lawyer!!
2007-10-22 03:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get a lawyer, and not one provided by the military. I know they are free, but they are out to help the military member. If you even have the slightest evidence that he may have even had an emotional affair, you can use it. An affair isn't just sexual. Talk to his first shirt and let him know what is going on. As for debt, honey... you can't stick him with the bill, no matter how hurt you are. You both accumilated it. He can't pay you and take on all the debt. As for spousal support... You need to talk to a lawyer, but since you have no kids. You're looking at 6 months and then its final. In that 6 months, the judge may require spousal support. After the 6 months, there is a chance you may get alimony. The judge is going to have to look at your living situation and see if you NEED it. Thats the only way you'll get it. It also isn't very long, since it is supposed to help you get back on your feet. Just know, he will pay, because thats how divorce works. You go from two incomes to one, and still have all the bills.
Atleast you don't have kids to make it even more of a mess. Just look into COBRA, under it, you should be able to get up to 3 years of health insurance, even though you will have to pay the premiums for it.
On a side note... I know you're hurting, and I know it seems like you just got married and turned around and getting divorced, but just know that you are going to be ok. You're strong, you can pick up the pieces of your life, and you'll meet an awesome guy that wants to treat you the way you deserve! Good luck to you!
2007-10-22 03:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with comments above, don't believe anything he says. On the other hand, affairs mean nothing in divorce court.
I am assuming you don't have kids, so even though you are hurt now, in the long run you will be better off without the jerk.
In general terms, you are equally responsible for the debt, but should equally share all assets. Make sure all the money is accounted for, and he hasn't been squirreling it away somewhere. Plus consider all accounts. Has he been using the military education fund? retirement accounts? You should get a share of that to.
Look around to find a good lawyer. Don't just hire the first one you talk to. Get references, talk to any friends or acquaintances that know the legal field (cops, lawyers, courthouse clerks/assistants, etc...). A good lawyer will make sure you get, at a minimum, what is fair.
2007-10-22 03:09:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer sweetie. IT is NOT as easy as he thinks it is. Divorce is always a hard thing.
Adultery is pretty much not a big thing in divorce. It will basically go that each of you will split. You can claim he keeps all the debt and items. Anything you keep you will have to pay for. (if it is on loan status)
Anything he keeps he will have to pay for.
You can ask for support. You have not been married long so it probably wont be much.
GOOD LUCK, you are not as bad off as you think
2007-10-22 03:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. I know what you hear about the military frowning on adultery, but my sister is in the armed forces, and she told me that infidelty in the service is HUGE. She was training to go over seas her self and cheated and filed for divorce from her husband. Im not sure about the financial stuff, but get a lawyer to help you.
2007-10-22 03:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact a lawyer. A lot will depend on the state you live in. If you live in a community property state then everything is 50/50 including debts. But you may be able to get him to take care of the debts if he really wants to get out of the marriage. Most likely you can get him to pay your legal fees too.
2007-10-22 03:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by countryguyhfc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may perhaps broken your heart but there is certainly no need to act like a child and bring on false charges against him. He may have broken your heart but its not mental abuse, i know mental abuse quite well and thats not in your case. As far as the affair is concerned, the army cant really do anything, they can frown upon anything they want but civil matters are civil matters no matter what. you need to have actual evidence that holds water of an actually affair, without that you will just be presenting false charges again.
2007-10-22 03:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You incurred "all this debt" together. You are not being realistic , you feel that he owes you more than what`s coming to you. The courts don`t work that way. You feel jilted and that`s understandable, but you will not get any more than you are entitled to.
Of course the military frowns on cheating. They have a method of administering their hierarchy of command. This type of thing undermines that.
Let him go, get what you can get, and move on.At least there was no kids involved.
2007-10-22 03:11:59 · answer #8 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not trust what is coming out of his mouth roght now, you need to get a lawyer and ask these questions, asap ok!!!
2007-10-22 02:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney now and take him to the cleaners. Show him that want he wants and what he's going to get are 2 different things.
2007-10-22 02:58:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋