When you are hurt-do people say" the Silliest Things"?

Question

like when my baby died- my EX friend said,
"Never mind, you can have another one"- Der !
jo

DO YOU KNOW A SILLY SAYING?
LIKE-" it will all come out in the wash?"

Answer 1

I think people are at a loss for what to say and feel compelled to say something, as if it would help, so they do without thinking and realize afterwards, they should have kept quiet.
Ouch! your friend was very insensitive. maybe your friend was soo at a loss for words, that she just said something to be talking. I'm sorry she chose that particular set of words.
People don't know how to be quiet. We want society to be a painless existence. NO risks, no ills and no consequences. People think problems should be fixed or eliminated. It's cruel but true. People don't just sit with someone who is hurting and mourn with them. They buy them flowers, bears, or something nonsensical to cover the hurt. They think they can buy their way out of emotional attachment and self-sacrifice of empathy or sympathy. Empathy is to feel what the other person feels. Sympathy means you can't feel the same as the other person, but you will stand by quietly and not leave the person alone to hurt.
Society moves terribly fast today. We don't have time to have interuptions. Shops used to close when family member of the shop owned died... now, we throw rocks through the windows and steal the merchandise, b/c we know the shop is empty. We don't want emotional attachment, or risk involved in loving someone else more than you love yourself... So, people try to short-cut the process and think they can say something dumb and relieve the hurting person.
I'm sorry for your loss... I can only imagine how you feel.

Answer 2

I am glad you have said she is your EX friend after saying that to you Jo. Obviously a bit low on the sensitivity stakes. That said Jo sometimes people do say silly things because they are either embarrassed or really do not know what to say in times like that. You would be surprised the number of people who will go to great lengths to avoid a bereaved person simply because they do not know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss Jo but you do know that she is safe and looked after xx

Answer 3

People can be awful at conveying thier feelings, at times.When they don`t know what to say, the silly remarks come out. Your friend probably didn1t mean to say what she did, but I imagine it hurt badly. I`m sorry to hear of your loss, it has to be the worst thing in the world to lose a child, and the hurt never goes away.

Answer 4

Yep and Reporters are the worst about it.

"How do you feel now that your daughter has been (kidnapped) (raped) ( Murdered) ?" Uhhhh Duh?!?

The "how do you feel....." Question comes up a lot in television reports and most times the answer is "Duh!!!"

After tragedy, I have also heard people say "do you think you will go back to work"......Um yes??? Eventually???

Silly Saying " It will all pan out" We call that the Pan Theory.

Answer 5

What a hurtful thing to say! That must have been an awful experience for you. Another thing people say is, "I know how you feel." I think that is dumb, too, because no one can know how you feel. Take care. S.

Answer 6

I know what you mean. Better they say nothing at all than something so unbelievably dumb!
I'm sorry to hear about your baby jo. xx

Answer 7

Thats Sad. Yeh, when I am hurt people say stupid and dumb things

Answer 8

whao thats so not nice...everyone responds differently...and most of the time people talk without thinking

Answer 9

ya,sorry about your baby, but they @dat moment they try to make you feel better,so i guess they dont think b4 they talk,it just happens,

Answer 10

ahh hun people sometimes don't think , its the same when they say "you'll get over it " or "i know how you feel " no they don't how could they ? xxxx