together several times.He acts as he likes me, he's carrying,we go out with his friends,we dance together and we stay alone till morning,holding hands and arms.He never tried to kiss me or asked me to be his gf but when some guys approached me inside the club he acted jealously.The problem is that this Friday after having fun in the club,he talked 2 much about his ex gf.They broke up this summer but they had had an on/off relationship for 7 yrs.We went to his house as he wanted to show me sth in his "my space"and he still keeps pictures of this girl and him.I don't want to have a 2nd place in his life or to be his rebound girl.I think to back off.How you see this story?
2007-10-22 02:02:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I see your story as very... muddled. You haven't explained it very well, but from what I gather you ARE the rebound girl. If he was with her 7 years and just broke up a few months ago, he's probably not ready to move on yet... so you should do just that, and move on.
2007-10-22 02:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
On and off relationships are often messy because I'd been in one before. It's almost an never-ending situation and while you are not too involved with this guy, I beg of you to RUN THE OTHER WAY!
This is a period of 'off' time between these two and there is no telling if one or the other may want to rekindle the romance again. And if you stick around, you will be in the middle of this crap.
Let him go as he already letting you know he still hold feelings for the ex as he constantly yaps about her. This happened to me before as I was getting to know a guy and half the conversation were about this or that of his ex--they too was back and forth. It annoyed me greatly but foolish me chose to ignore it, got serious with him and he tells me after a year of dating on and off, he weren't over her.
Being a rebound is no fun. You should never be second best and this is where you are heading. Leave him alone and date a man who isn't carrying a torch for his ex.
2007-10-25 16:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by ranay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still getting over the loss of his former gf. Some people take a lot longer to get over emotional relationships. It is not something you can help him with.
I would back off a little but not completely. Give him space to work things out. Be there if he needs or wants you but don't push. He obviously sees something in you that he is attracted to but he is still hurting from his loss.
Sounds like a great guy so don't give up on him, just give him time.
Good Luck
2007-10-22 02:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seven years is a long time so the feeling will not just go away.
I am happily married for over five years now but I still think of my last girlfriend who I was off and on with over nine years.
She is married too so it is not like we are about to run off or anything but we talk occasionally.
As time goes on, feelings will change and new feelings will arise so if you really like this guy, give him some space but let him know that you care.
You are new to his life and old habits are hard to break so be patient.
However, if time passes and he still is hung up on her, then maybe you should move on.
2007-10-22 02:12:25 · answer #4 · answered by JJT34 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seven years is a long time - especially in a youngish life. It is bound to have played a big part in his life, and he is bound to mention it from time to time. (I was married for 12 years, then divorced. After 10 years with my new partner, I still talk about my ex from time to time. But we are both mature enough to realise that this is only natural). If he mentions her from time to time, play along. If he over-does it, then tell him in no uncertain terms that this annoys you. I don't see you taking 2nd place to her, anymore than you take 2nd place to the primary school that he went to, and that he spent time at, and which he will talk about from time to time. He sounds like a nice guy - holding hands, etc. Give him a bit of a chance. Good luck
2016-04-09 21:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think it very normal but I wouldn't let it bother me a lot unless you were getting too serious too fast. He probably may not be over her yet but if the two of you continue to go out he may see that you are better than her and forget about her to be with you. Or she may have dumped him because he was talking about an old girl friend with her also. You can back off a bit but don't give up on him too soon unless he continues to talk about her after you have a few more dates.
2007-10-22 02:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am thinking that the relationship is only on the off again level, he is not done with her so you should move on. You are worth more than being someone to keep him from being lonely while he sorts out his on/off relationship with this other person. He is not ready for a new love interest, he is still hung up on the old one. You should try to date someone that is in the present and not hung up on a girl from the past. Good luck hun......S.
2007-10-22 02:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by scsspace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't like it, I would. I would say...this is really making me feel weird...you and this other girl...where is the room for me. Tell him that you don't want to be around a man that you have feelings for that is still obsessing over another woman...tell him it isn't right. Ask him how he would feel if it were happening to him...ie you talking about another man and showing him photos of you and he on myspace etc. I wouldn't leave before saying something to him...he probably doesn't know it bothers you. Get him to tell you how he feels about you...be sure you like him enough to stick around if you get him to open up...he doesn't need another pain in his life and you don't need to stick around if he isn't going to be into you the way he was in to her..or more.
2007-10-22 02:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seven years with someone is a long time and it takes a while to get over them. I also wouldn't say you are a rebound, technically, since you two haven't really done anything. I would find someone who's over their ex.
2007-10-22 02:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you start a new relationship, it should be regarded as a new blank page.
Unless you're specifically asked about previous relationships, don't bring it up yourself.
In this case he is not over his GF.
2007-10-22 02:07:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋