I've been married for 6 years. We were watching a movie last night, Madea's Family Reunion. It's kinda like a love story.
Anyways, Wifey asks me if she was the only one that was meant for me. I don't believe in the soulmate thing. I believe if you live in a certain area, you'll meet someone there. If you live somewhere else, you'll meet someone else, and so on. So I told her if I met her at the college we went to. I told her what I really believed, was that I met her and it just happened to be the location I was in. Needless to say, she wasn't happy with the answer.
Women, WHY do some of you insist on asking questions that either put the guy in a bad spot, or there's only one way to answer? I mean, you want us to be truthful when it comes to fidelity, but you'd want me to lie if my wife was 5'2" and pushing 3 bills (she's not, by the way) and she asks me if she looks better than Beyonce or someone like that...
My wife's awesome and I love her, but what was THAT about?
2007-10-22 01:44:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you need us to confirm that we love you? We're there, aren't we?!
2007-10-22 02:05:01 · update #1
Pete, Pete, Pete....when you obtain a marriage license, it states at the very bottom (in little tiny letters, in Chinese) that you agree to answer all of our love questions with the answer we MOST LIKELY want to hear, or your sex life will be in jeopardy. It's true, look again...lol...there is a way to repair that bridge you just burned....call her RIGHT NOW and say....Babe, you got me thinking about "us" last night in a way I hadn't thought of before....and ya know what? You are SO RIGHT! (those words alone may even work) Then say.....You are my soul mate, my love, the only woman who could give me Rhiannon (sp)....it was sheer fate that brought us together and our perfect love will keep us this way.
Go ahead....try it....then get back to me....LOL
Silly man!!!
2007-10-22 02:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by Kim 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think all women need a little encouragement in their relationship, especially if they have been in a relationship for a while.
Men romance women to get them, and they are very open about it. Unfortunately the romance usually ends when the man gets the woman.
Woman miss romance more than anything including sex in a relationship. When she asks you those hard questions she is wanting to believe in a fairytale type relationship that came about because of some great pre-destined thing.
Would it hurt you to let her think you are her soulmate? Does it cost you anything to let her keep believing in romance and love ever after? And would it really be a lie? Maybe she was in the area you were in but can you honestly say if you met two women at once that you would not have chosen her over the other one?
You can let your wife keep believing in romance without lying to her or to yourself. Keep her happy, you will be happy in the long run.
Good Luck
2007-10-22 01:56:54 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you just say that She's Awesome and you love her? Why does the answer always have to be anything other than the truth? Is it because you do actually have in the back of your mind that when you feel like something better's come along that you'd like to keep an open mind to move on? Why be in a committed relationship with someone if you've got the mindset that "if something better....". Otherwise, you would have had no problem telling her "yes, honey, your awesome and even if I lived somewhere else, I'd hope God would bring you cross my path. Sorry, That is what THATS about, isn't it?
2007-10-22 01:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Had to laugh reading your post. Ain't it the truth. I kid my husband all the time; saying that he has learned the correct answer to these type of questions after all the years we've been together.
Truthfully, I think we ask these questions to reassure us of your love for us, as we are now; not as we were years ago or just that you find us attractive, intelligent and are happy with your choice of a life-partner.
Like truthfulness, but not if it is extremely hurtful. You know, though, I do disagree about the geography thing in a way. I feel many settle before they do meet the person who was meant for them. And I do think your wife is the one meant for you if you are saying she is awesome and you love her. Why out of all the women in that particular area did you find her; it was meant to be. So, think you might wish to give her a better answer next time; perhaps - yes, you are the only one for me or I wouldn't have met you, fallen in love and married you. Great question, though.
2007-10-22 02:03:15 · answer #4 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because... she's maybe a little insecure somewhere on something. Perhaps she just feels like you were "her soul mate" and hoped you felt the same way.
I don't ask those kinds of questions simply for that reason... I don't want to put my husband on the spot and either be lied to or get an answer I don't want to hear. My relationship is fine, so do I really need to constantly reconfirm it?
But, now, back to the matter at hand. Hon... seriously, to avoid the confrontation, you could've simply said "yes". There's no law that said you had to share your "views on love", and this might be more a matter of proper censorship on your part. My husband is always laughing at the 23 year old (which translates to "complete relationship doofus") kid in our office who hasn't quite figured out what NOT to say to his girlfriend.
I tell my husband everything... except, of course, who I might think is hot. Why? Because I know that would be inflammatory and nothing he could say will change it.
2007-10-22 01:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound very pragmatic.
This has no place in romance. When your wife asks one of her insecurity questions just like the low fuel light in her car she needs a refill of warm fuzzy feelings.
When she asks a question like this turn and face her, look her in the eye, smile and stroke the side of her hair and tell her that she is still as beautiful to you than when you first met her and you love her twice as much. Then give her a gentle kiss.
Tanks are refilled, and you can get on witth what you were doing before the question.
2007-10-22 03:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I know I do the same thing to the guy I am dating and it drive him crazy to. I can not speak for your wife but, I can tell you why I do it. I just want to hear him say something nice to me. It seems that after a while guys forget that we are still a female and need to hear nice things. Like man I love you,What you wore today really made your butt look hot,Are you should wear your hair like that more often. Even things like I love you out of the blue. When I ask a question like that I am starting to feel like I need to hear something anything from my man to make me feel like everything is ok and loved. It is not an all the time thing I need to hear something but, when there is nothing said are done in while I start fishing. Hope that helps. It is just we want to know you guys still want us.
2007-10-22 02:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by amscrystal76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about reassurance. But Yes I like the truth cause that's how I roll. But I am very blunt with people and I tell them the truth and not in a mean way but I am very honest. And I expect the same and will respect those that tell me more then those who won't or try to hint around.
2007-10-22 02:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by ktychaos13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lie lie lie always lie!
its not hiding the truth its protecting yourself and her feelings.
i know my husband lies when he says i'm the sexiest and hottest woman hes ever see, i'm sure there are a ton more. but thats what you do to make the person feel better about themselves.
the whole soul mates thing, i believe pretty much what you do that you meet someone everywhere you go. but you could say its destiny i was here and met you and fell in love before i had a chance to meet anyone else.
things like this you don't wanna necessarily tell the whole truth, we as woman are not naive we know the truth but sometimes we don't wanna hear it from our hubbys we wanna hear what makes us feel good.
good luck next time :)
2007-10-22 01:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by 3 girls call me mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak for myself and I am a female. We tend to ask questions there is no answer for, at least not the answer we are looking for. I don't know why we do it, but we do. You and I can no more figure out the female than anything in the world..Would you believe that women sit around and try to figure you guys out?? Its not gonna happen..Since the beginning of time this has been happening and there is no way we will ever understand it. You are entitled to believe what you said about meeting someone in the area in which you live, like she is entitled to think overwise. It is our differences that attracts us to each other. Please don't try to figure us out, you will be wasting your time. I actually feel sorry for my partner, because he tries to do just that--figure me out-- and poor thing just wastes his time, but I love him.
2007-10-22 01:57:23 · answer #10 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋