My partner and I are having serious, extended difficulties getting along, and my partner is unwilling to go to counseling (for reasons I don't understand). No children. If I leave, I fear my partner (based on past statements) will expose personal information about me which will expose me to personal and professional humiliation, though I would not lose my job. Does anyone have advice? I am not a bad person, but I did make a mistake (that affected more than just me). I think my employer, friends and family would support me, but I hate the idea of their image of me changing. I suppose, I am just struggling to accept that my prior mistakes have consequences. But I am also frustrated that my partner wants to destroy me if I leave (my reasons for leaving have nothing to do with the mistake I made). My partner has done embarrassing things too, but I don't threaten to expose him/her. I'm tired of all the fighting but too scared to leave. What should I do?
2007-10-22 01:02:35 · 12 answers · asked by problempill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you made a mistake, do not make another by being held hostage. Go to whomever you think will be told to hurt you and tell them yourself and you take his/her power away.
I am assuming you are a grown up so get over it and move on. I am sure if all the skeletons were out of all the people's closets you are afraid will "find" out you would find far worse or just as embarrassing mistakes.
2007-10-22 01:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When fighting things are often said that are mean. Are you married? If so can you work it out? If you are not married then there is no reason for you to continue to even try to put up with such stuff. As far as your prior mistake that would embarrass you tremendously, perhaps you could speak with your boss about what happened since you would not lose your job. It would be best I think to see who exactly is on your side. If you do tell your boss you could tell them that you do not really want your co workers to find out and you are only telling your boss because your partner wants to embarrass you. Or you could just not tell anyone and let the chips fall where they may. You are only human after all and even though you made a mistake that affected others it will not affect your job. If people make fun of you then you can hold your head high and say I learned from my mistake. I hope others learned from my experience too.
Never be scared of what other people can or you think they can do to you. Do not let someone have that kind of power over you. You are stronger than that.
2007-10-22 08:22:32 · answer #2 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have the support of those that matter most, don't let him/her pull that noose any tighter around your neck. If you want out, be the bigger person who will accomplish more in the long run, and leave. Living in a situation like that with things hanging over your head is never good. Bite the bullet by leaving-oh, don't forget to tell your partner how immature they would be to expose anything they have known about you over a break-up. It happens everyday, but peace of mind is worth more than a few moments of embarrassment.
2007-10-22 08:33:11 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would take control of my life back. I would go to the boss and come out with whatever is going on, and deal with it. If you know that you would have the support of the people that mean the most to you, than TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE. This person is not a good person to be around, and the sooner you get away from this person the better your life will be. Never let fear keep you in a poor relationship. This is what an abused person does, and you are being abused.
2007-10-22 08:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Expect the worst, hope for the best, and leave. They are using this as power over you. Your partner doesn't love you, your partner just wants control over you. Take back your power and leave. They may or may not follow through on their promise to destroy you, but if they do, they do, but at least you will be free to move on with your life. I don't know what you did, but I think most of us have a skeleton or two in our closet and would feel sorry for anyone that had theirs drug out for the world to see.
2007-10-22 08:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out of the indecision. Life is too short to be in this state. Go with your gut. According to your question, it sounds like you really want out of the relationship but are afraid of the consequences. Just leave and get through the negative. The other side has to be better than this.
Good luck
2007-10-22 08:09:07 · answer #6 · answered by Marge S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if your boss already knows about the "things" you did in the past ,then don't worry on that side!
try to distance yourself from this relationship and at one point n your life you have to take charge of yourself and take the consequences foryourself. It was bound to catch up with you sooner or later.
hold your head up high and do what you need to be doing ! Do not stay in a relationship where somebody takes your past against you . He did not love you then from the beginning !
2007-10-22 08:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
complisated question yes but a simple soloution; you are being emotionally blackmailed by someone you trust and was close to the answer is to move on with your life and whatever happens , happens. You can't control what other people do and if he/she drops dime on you , you can only pick up the pieces and move on.
2007-10-22 08:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good grief, come out and say that you are gay!!!!!! Your "partner". Then you try to throw us off by saying "no children". you don't want to "expose your partner". LOL YOUR GAY!!!!!
2007-10-22 08:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave, they are not the person for you - whats the worse that can happen? you will survive.
2007-10-22 08:11:14 · answer #10 · answered by Jackie M 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋