I Love him but, he wants to get married. Thats a big comitment and I don't know if I am realdy for that. I have been maried before and I just don't think I am ready for that again. We argue alot and don't get along very well right now and I just don't think it is a good idea. I tried telling him that and he gets really mad! And freaks out. What do you think I should do? And if I get married again I want to have a good wedding. And we really dont have much time or money for that right now.
2007-10-22 00:42:39 · 14 answers · asked by chickapoo12001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here's the simple answer. Don't.
You have plenty of insight into this girlie. You feel that deep down this isn't such a wise idea and its not that you have an aversion to marry again and you're not adverse to even marrying HIM....but you feel the time isn't right.
On the other hand, he's acting like an idiot over the entire thing. His response to yours is 'he freaks out and gets really mad'. You can't tell me that this is what YOU look for in a spouse. You get married and have a kid now you have two whining, crying babies to worry about and one of them is your husband.
You do whats right for you in this case. Do not let him inlfuence you into making a decision that you know is most assuredly a bad one because he throws his little temper tantrums. Plus....military life is no easy one. You'll find yourself alone and without friends and family while he's off training or deployed overseas.
Wait it out. To be even more frank...if he insists on acting like the jerk he appears to be...dump him too. Love or not your feelings will change rapidly if you have to deal with a spouse who wants everything HIS way and pitches a fit when he can't have it that way as well.
Hmmm...you seem much more mature and wise than he. If he can't come to grips with it and understand the reasoning behind your decision...to heel with him. You didn't need him anyway.
2007-10-22 01:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you know your answer just by what you told us. I'm the wife of a retired Marine and we got married when he was an E-4. Not the highest rank, but we didn't have kids, so we were okay. If you get married before he goes off to boot camp, please know that your 'husband' will not get paid during that time. You said you don't have that much money, so would you be able to handle losing a big portion of your income for numerous weeks? If he gets really mad, then think about what he'll be able to do once he's learned his combat skills. Honestly, if I were you, I'd hold off on any talk about marriage and see if you can survive this relationship by being apart the time during boot camp. This may be a wake up call for you that you don't need to be treated like the way he's treating you. I wish you luck because I just don't have a good feeling about this if you were to marry.
2007-10-22 09:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Army marriage is TOUGH I wont lie hunny . I am doing it now . I am facing a 455 day deployment right after being apart seven months. If you get married before bootcamp thats 8 weeks you wont see or hear from him aside letters. AIT- his training for his job could be really long or short. depending on how long they may or may NOT move you to be with him. They your first duty station. I got station in europe with him we are in germany. The army marriage bit is tought but if he means everything to you.. Do it it don't think. I married myhusband 2 weeks after meeting went through 7 months apart 4 months together nor a deployment. Does he make you happy? Does he make your dreams come true ? The army will take car e of you money wise your insurance makes anything medical or dental free. They have programs for thos ein debt or poor. I had a last minute little wedding but with all the money your saving from the army We are going to have a huge wedding next time around. This is a hard hard hard choice. Plus a wound from your last relationship can effect your thoughts now. I'm praying for you. If you need ANYTHING Give me an email I feel for you . Kisa_roulette@yahoo.com
2007-10-22 08:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Erica W. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Wait to see if your relationship can survive the training and distance. I'm a Marine wife, got married four weeks after meeting then left for Iraq. He rushed me a little, but I don't regret it. I love him more than anything. The money's not that great (E-3), not sure if amry haves different pay rates. The main problem we have is the military itself, we both hate it, and one year and one more deployment left to go. Anyways, don't do it if you're not 100% sure or ready. Military life gets a little tough at times. Good Luck & Best Wishes!
2007-10-22 11:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you argue alot now then its only going to continue when you are married and besides you have stated your not really ready yet, so don't do it. If he loves you enough he will wait for you until you are ready. If he gets really mad with you when you talk to him, then definitely a big no no.
2007-10-22 07:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any doubts, don't do it. The military will put a lot of stress on your relationship. He's probably just feeling insecure and thinks marrying you is a way to "keep" you. Talk to him. Assure him that you love him. But there is no need to rush into marriage. Let him finish his training, move to his first duty station, and take it from there.
2007-10-22 07:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Jill C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise against it. I would accept an engagement but plan for the wedding to be after he gets to his first duty station. BUT if you think all this fighting is real and not just stress from him going in the Army then you shouldn't marry him at all.
2007-10-22 07:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say if you are not ready then don't.It sounds like you're not.It also sounds like he is wanting to tag you as his women before he leaves afraid someone else might grab you while he is gone.He is scared he will loose you when he is gone.Sweet!!!!!!!But don't marry if you are not ready.If he loves you he will understand and will respect your wishes.
2007-10-22 07:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what army girls do here in aust is use a washing powder up in the laundry window.
if you have a box of omo in the window it means old mans off
if you have a box of fab in hte window it means f uckin a ss holes back.
this provides no misunderstanding for the men servicing you while hes away
2007-10-22 07:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You may really love him,but don't do something that you will regret later.Just follow what your heart tells you.
2007-10-22 07:57:15 · answer #10 · answered by faculty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋