This friend just got out of a 5+ year relationship. I am friends with her and her ex. Since telling her how I feel she has been really angry with me and treating me bad. We fight everytime we talk. She accuses me of trying to take her ex away from her even though she broke up with him. She wants married and kids, he doesn't. When I go out with him she yells at me and says very hurtful things. I really care for this girl but she is pushing me out of her life. I have known her for 5 years and will do anything to keep her as of friend. I don't know what to do. when haven't spoken to each other in 2 weeks and I really miss her. I have tried to contact her and she is avoiding my calls and e-mails. Why to I want something I never had? Why do want someone who doesn't want me? Why do I keep myself up in the middle of the night thinking about her? We used to talk to each other 4 times a week. How do I let go? sometimes I think she intentionally hurts me. Do I take it because she is in pain?
2007-10-22 00:11:42 · 19 answers · asked by crisis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yes my man u do!not unless you want to become a stalker..4real
2007-10-22 00:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by SLAPDOG3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In life, we always seem to want the things we cant have, I think that once you actually got her, these feelings would go away. But it looks as if you will never get her, as she has made it clear that she doesnt want you, and why would you want someone who talks to you with such disrespect? I know! I know! Its because you may have self-esteem issues, the more this girl pushes you away, the more you want her! This is not good, so I recomend that you, start focusing in on the positive things in life, keep yourself busy, find hobbies,etc. And stop thinking so much about your feelings, as feelings just get in the way of reality, this is a time to start using your brain, not your heart.
2007-10-22 00:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing more tragic than falling in-love with your friend, whose boyfriend, is also your friend...
men, these kind of relationships didn't work out for good. no matter how you tried to win her, and even if you do, it's not worth it. yeah, it's quite romantic that friends can be lovers, but come to think of it - between loving relationship - is a void which can only be filled by the other friend's love...
you asked if you should move on... yes you should, but it doesn't mean you have to abandon her... abandon your feelings, but not her. to save a sinking ship, sometimes you don't really need to jump off the ship - throw away the excess baggages to make it lighter... understand?
stay and remain as a loyal friend, you may get hurt in the process, but it's worth it rather than staying or leaving and insists your feelings.
2007-10-22 00:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by elpalmes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in similiar shoes as you. My friend of 3 years just started to avoid me for no apparent reason, she to stopped returning calls and e-mails from me. The only advice I can give is to call her and say you want to sit down and speak with her face to face and talk thing out because you care about your friendship and dont want to lose it. Personally I never had the opportuity to have that face to face talk and we are no longer friends and it hurts worse than you can imagine. Dot let that happen to you...take advantage of my mistake. Contact her, even if she doesnt pick up and say you need to talk to er, but dont do like I did and call too often because then she said I was smothering her etc... so contact her maybe once a week until she will sit down and talk with you...if she is not willing to sit down and talk to you, like what happened with my friend, you need to move on. It hurts, I wont lie, but you cant be a door mat for this person either and if they wont talk to you then they are not your true friend anyway. Will it take time to get over...absolutely! but if she is a true friend she wont turn her back on you...if she talks to you then you can try to work things out. best of luck! hope everyhtng works out!!
2007-10-22 00:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is in pain, and you are not being a very good friend to expect her to warm up to you so soon after her breakup. Give the poor girl some breathing room. It takes a long time to get over a 5 year relationship. I would be angry with you too!!
2007-10-22 00:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to be treated like that. You voiced your feelings toward her and maybe she feels she is torn between your friendship and this loser b/f Give her some time and let her heal on her own. If its meant for you two to be friends or more time will tell. I know its hard to hear, but heres a saying if you set something free and it comes back than its yours if it doesnt than it never was. Good Luck
2007-10-22 00:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even need to read your story to tell you...YES move on!
You can't make someone like you, they either DO or they DON'T, it's that simple. Cut and Dry.
So why don't you make amends with her, so to speak...and let her know that you didn't mean to impose on her with your feelings. Then tell her that you got the hint, and you'd like to continue to be friends with her...plus you realized that it probably wasn't such a good idea to be more than that anyways considering it could really run your friendship into the ground.
2007-10-22 00:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend
Some time after long time wife and husband also getting same situation as you both created but my experaince maybe better to try again if not passible then forget and find another one
2007-10-22 00:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by Mangal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i think the feeling you have for her ex is not real, it cant be real because you been with her through out the breakup and you know what caused it. a good friend will stand by her friend through hard times. your friend feels betrayed.
i advice you to live her ex and be friends with her and maybe later if her ex likes you he will come around but for now stand by your friend.
2007-10-22 00:47:05 · answer #9 · answered by tolu_thegame10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on. You need to be patient. But just in case nothing happens after all your efforts don't allow yourself to get hurt. Don't give in yourself to self-pity or regrets. You too need to be happy. Look around you, there are many from which you could make yourself and her a perfect match.
2007-10-22 00:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jun Agruda 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
back off! a rebound relationship is a poor relationship. If you feel the same when she is over it and she grows to care for you then you have something. Love has to grow. if she cares for you in that way she will come around.
2007-10-22 00:16:39 · answer #11 · answered by Dalton K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋