since i have a sexual relationship of this married man about three months ago..i fear that my wife and family will find out and if this happened i thought of killing myself rather be condemned and be outcast...im 36 with two sons and this man is 33 with a son and daughter. we keep it very secret we have sex at least one a week..
2007-10-21 23:16:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
dude just pray
2007-10-21 23:30:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
Suicide is a selfish way out of a problem that will be resolved in time. You have two sons and a wife... put your family first and stop thinking about yourself, the last thing you should be worried about is being labeled as an outcast... or being condemned. You knew what you were doing before you did it. Another sexual relationship should have never started with another person.
It is obvious your concerns are not centered on your family, so if you are a homosexual the best solution would be to get a divorce and leave custody with your wife. You have homosexual tendencies. Seek private counseling out of your town or county since it’s involving a very personal issue.
STOP seeing that man and lose your connection with him all together. If you continue to see him it will only add anxiety and pain to an already awful situation.
Take care of your family and yourself!
2007-10-22 07:32:38 · answer #2 · answered by Vannetter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But maybe you should bring up the subject with your wife. Even if she is not the object of your sexual desires, she stills deserves some honesty. After all, she likes men too, so I do not see it as a kill-yourself-big-deal.
Of course, cheating is still cheating- and this is the issue you have to address. But don't bring your sex partner into this- he might have a purely physical relationship with you and would not want to jeopardize his family life.
2007-10-22 06:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by dane 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The bottom line is, YOU'RE CHEATING. It doesn't matter what sex you're cheating with, you're cheating. You have gone outside of your relationship to have sex with someone else. You need to be honest, first with yourself and spread it outward.
Your cheating affects your family. Did you ever think what kind of pain this would cause?Think: this is not all about you. Someone is going to be hurt by it.
Killing yourself is not going to solve the problem. It's a cowardly, selfish way of bowing out of a problem instead of facing it head- on. The question is, what are you going to do? Are you going to come out and be who you are, at the expense of your family, go back to your family and be responsible for them or are you going to keep living this lie and continue cheating? My prayers go out to you. Peace!!!
2007-10-22 09:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by Pnthr wmn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is not the way, you might get yourself out of a whole heap of crap by it but, YOU WILL deprive your family, friends children and most of all yourself the chance to have normal,fullfilling lives.
Do you want to be responsible for utterlly destroying your babies? Dont you want to watch them grow?
For god sake man, is your own selfimportance and humiliation that important to you that you are going to kill your self over something that insignificant in the scheme of life?
GROW UP .... 36? I doubt it
2007-10-22 07:19:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be silly , Dont youn think your wife has known from previous to your marriage that you were gay . I think people subconciously know more in about 5 min of meeting someone than they let on .
Shes probably comfotable with someopne who is gay , she has a sensitive intellegent charming possible gentle man that scores up on a hetro
If youd divored guess what youd prbbbly find her nexit husband had leanings also we are atracted to the same types constantly physicaly and emotionally mentally the popoulist press have shown lots of examples of stars tha marry thier father look alikes .
Lots of love to you please come to terms with yourself and dont suffer with is
2007-10-22 06:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yea they should find out. You're doing something wrong and you know it. This is why you're keeping it a secret. You're lying to your wife and your kids. You are teaching your kids a very bad lesson and should be thrown out of the house.
2007-10-22 08:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) you're not gay, you're bi - it's not the end of the world...
2) stop f*cking around outside your marriage, just stop meeting him and do something else to gratify your apparent desires.
3) don't bother killing yourself. Not only is that incredibly cowardly, do you realise how it'll effect your family?
4) keeping it secret doesn't make it alright.
2007-10-22 09:35:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
i dont know much about this but i would like to give a lttle help.
may you might want to look at the pros and cons of this situation.......are you happy being gay or hetro
if you choose your life all over a gain what would it be.......
if you feel that you want to end it all, would it be better for you to risk everything, and be who you would like to be......why be unhappy because now in your life you want something different......
why did you get married/did you love her once/.....did you know....or was you hiding the fact that your gay.....
dont be ashamed of your self.....love who you are....live the way you want to....
but about the other gay man in your life....let him,make his own desicions.....
REMEMBER YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE...and yes sometimes the ones closest to you get hurt,but is out in the open,they deal with it or not,but atlease you can sleep at night..........i hope i did not offend you in any way, i hope i helped. there is nothing wrong with you, don't you think that may be it will be better that they found out from you and not somebody else,who would not know the facts....and it may make you feel more in control of your life......
2007-10-22 06:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by Pauline J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you know you were gay once married? If you're bisexual that softens the blow - as your wife will likely understand that.
If you think you are only going to be sexually and mentally attracted to someone of the same gender exclusively, then i really think you should end it with your wife
2007-10-22 06:52:21 · answer #10 · answered by Llew 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No... you"ve just been honest to your self, if it was happened nice explanation to your wife and to your kids the real you are and sooner or later they will understand and accept u as you are dont kill yourself if they knew what really you are.
2007-10-22 06:32:05 · answer #11 · answered by onilaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋