his daughter. His ex is very demanding of him. She will call anytime any day when she wants his help.My B.f. is very accomodating to her because he feels guilty of not being their for his daughter 24/7. But what bothers me is that I always come second to their needs. I love his daughter and want to be more a part of her life. We are not married yet but plan to. He has committed to me fully. My issue is that lately she is more needy and makes sure that we (my bf and i) don't spend much quality time . Lately i feel like my feelings don't count. He says I just think of my needs and no one else'. I feel really bad and recently I have been angry because of his decisions. I have been understanding for 2 years I cant even make plans bcus she has her own agenda. He insists that in order to have more visitation with his child in the future he has to follow her rules. Am i wrong for feeling like I get the left overs all the time. I have spoken to him about this before. What do you think?
2007-10-21 22:05:51 · 6 answers · asked by Mindin my own biznes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like he is pulling your leg.First of all the court determains how much visitation he gets not her.If she fails to let him visit the kids she can get in trouble with the courts.Tell him to get a back bone and a lawyer.If he doesnt You are in for a very unhappy life with him.Being a step parent is difficult at best,I dont think your relationship will last.i know it will hurt at first but find someone who doesnt have kids all ready
2007-10-21 22:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by Debbie Ann H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has issues if he does not defend his honor. If he cannot defend his honor, can he defend his child and your honor? In the same situation but reversed, there is a game going on. He could be loving the attention from the both of you. His ego is being fed by having two women playing against each other. My ex was playing me and his girlfriend. From experience, I would tell him to get regular visitations. Tell him to contact a lawyer to see if he can get full time custody because his ex cannot handle single parenting. You are in all probability done with him. He may be to the point where he might be ready to go back to his wife. You make the choice, either live with the situation or get your freedom back and find a man.
2007-10-21 22:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he hasn't committed to you fully. How the hell can you say he's committed to you. His behavior tells you that he's fully committed to keeping you in "second" place!!
If you proceed with the marriage before you work out this major, major problem you are extremely foolish. In fact, I think that this guy is a wimp and if you marry him you are as screwed up as he is.
You definitely have a right to be angry. That's good in the sense you are not willing to take his abuse.
His bull crap about having to follow HER rules is exactly that .... BULLSH*T. Courts determine the "rules" of visitation. And what is this crap about him staying with his ex for 2 days at a time?
You are crazy if you put up with that. He's using you and he's played you. WAKE UP! You sound like a nice sincere person ... DUMP this using, emotionaly abusive a$$hole.
2007-10-21 22:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by Meg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like Debbie Ann says tell him to "get a back bone", he's totally spineless. I understand that his daughter is precious to him and if he has kept up his end of the deal between him + the ex, noone can criticise him. However, her demands are unreasonable and she knows damn well the impact it is having on you and him - she's got you both where she wants you. Give him the ultimatum to seek out a solicitor+get his parental rights documented or you will have to reconsider your relationship altogether.
2007-10-21 22:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by JonesTheMiner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's sleeping with her.
You should think more of yourself
then to have let this happen.
Quality time with the child should have
been spent at your place.
I could never be 4th, and that's what
you are.
1. The Ex
2. The child
3. The boyfriend
4. Then you.
Shessh No Way. Wake Up.
2007-10-21 22:54:16 · answer #5 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is leading him around by the nuts. Some ex wives do that. He is evidentally not man enough to stand up to her. If I were you, I would run like heck to get away from him. Nothing is going to change until those children are grown. The daughter may even learn her mother's techniques and use them when she is grown. I have seen it happen so often. If he does not stand up for himself, his life may never be his own again.
2007-10-21 22:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋