black g/f and roomate offends me....how do i handle it?

Question

we started watching a movie about a teacher who helps inner city school kids. Once she realises what movie it is she gets up and says:

She says....I am sick of movies made about white teachers saving poor black kids. Then goes to her bedroom.

This movie was a true story. There are stories about black school teachers helping kids too. The first I know about is one where Sidney Potier plays a teacher in a school of all white kids. There was another one where a black principle completely turned his school around where both black and white kids attend.

I don't understand how this educated woman would say such a thing in my presence.

Her sister flew over and spent a couple of nights with us. One of those nights we were watching a black comedian saying ***** this and ***** that and I was offended but they were laughing and ....they were also laughing at the racial jokes he was telling about WHITE FOLKS and Crackers.

we have had several talks about race relations. She has helped me to udnerstand boundries..those of which she feels free to cross.

I am hurt and i just don't know how to handle it.

and here I see they have blanked out the word n i g g a where I had out it yet left the cracker remark in there.

This is just so ...wrong

UHM......I AM NOT GAY!.. I don't know why you got that mixed up but whatever. I mean everybody has their own opinion but please stay within the boundries of the question and don't make up was it not true.
I was talking about my friend who is a girl and she is also my roomate....she is ALSO my BOSS at work so it is equally hard to tell her how I feel.

Also, don't misunderstand me about the word Cracker. Most white people don't even know that blacks call them that routinely nor do white people get it. When I have asked whites what they think about it they usually say " but what does it mean? and I don't understand the reference"

The point is I do know that it is a word which was chosen and used by blacks and said to purposefully offend the white people. I know that and because I know that it makes no sense to me why people in todays day that are black would want to offend those who are white while screaming at white people to stop offending black people.

We should stop the hate period. That is what I want to see happen.

My grandma used to say:

Sticks and stones my break my bones but
They will heal
Names can tear me up for a lifetime

Answer 1

Okay. I always see alot of this going on. I am african american and you need to them straight up and let them know that it bothers you. I let my white friends know 1)I dont want to hear the 'n' word 2)Respect me and you get it the same way 3)If you have a problem with some1 else mistreating you LET THEM KNOW!!!! You need to tell her/them to the face, that it makes you feel uncomfortable, because sometimes you forget that your hurting someone. This is especially true if they feel extremely comfortable around you!!! If you guys are that close with a very good friendship...I hope yall can work it out!!! good luck!!!

Answer 2

First, to just answer the question, you need to talk to your girlfriend about her roommate. You probably would never allow a friend of yours to make her uncomfortable, and thus you deserve the same respect. If some kind of common ground cannot be reached, you shouldn't go over there anymore, because at the end of the day, she's just a roommate and your relationship is what should matter......and matter to your girlfriend for that matter, too. She should step up and handle it.

As far as the movie goes, yes its a true story, but there are less movies that depict Black people helping ourselves in relation to "Dangerous Minds" type movies...no ones fault but the movie industry (but I do see her point....I grew up in the inner city and never had any teachers like the one's that "save" a classroom full of kids in Compton). As far as the comedian.....they need to cut that crap out. Things like that aren't funny and don't be intimidated and not stick up for yourself. You had every right to tell them to change it or kiss your a*s.

Edit: Any the girl below me is obviously a moron

Answer 3

And you said what to them? Did you let it go or did you tell them that it was wrong?

Stand up for what you believe in next time. You can't just come on here and complain that you feel you were treated unfairly and expect it to change what has already been done and you did nothing about it at the time.

WOW that was a mouthful.

To the other readers. Saying that history gives them a reason for bad behavior is critical lack of character response.

What happened to my great grandparents has nothing to do with what happens to me 80 years later. If they fought that hard to make things right what in the world am i doing to destroy it?

I think todays "past Slaves" would be pissed at quite a few blacks who say what happend to them gives them the right to behave in such an ugly manner.

Answer 4

She is wrong. She should not have said that. it was offensive. But if you say something to her she will probably use it against you and claim she has the right where you do not.

A lot of black people in the public eye as well as your neighbor use black history as a reason to be verbablly violent against white people. I see it all the time on T.V. but people will always say "Look What they went through"!'

Sorry but the people saying it didn't go through "it' today our society is trying it's best to treat everyone as equals/ But when it comes to blacks saying things about whites and getting away with it.....they can. It completely makes no sense at all but they can get away with verbal murder on whites and claim it is OK because of a history they did not experience.

I don't care what anyone comes on here and claims. It will NEVER be OK for BLACKS to say anything derogatory against WHITES or the other way around in my book. But as long as the media and the law continues to say it is OK it will never change.

All I can hope for is what my grandma used to say:

This too Shall Pass

Answer 5

I am neither white or black for the record. But, those listed things are trivial by comparison. I do not think that racism in any form is correct, especially in this day and age. However, can you really compare those silly little things to over a hundred years of oppression and racism suffered by black people - I mean REALLY?

I did not say it was right did I? dardika (excuse the spelling) and Shannon name for me one situation where a black person PUBLICLY used a racial slur (not counting comedians because the white comedians do it also) and were not reprimanded for it? I would like to know because, I am so sick of people saying that it is okay for blacks and not whites well, CITE YOUR SOURCE! Please.

Answer 6

It isn't right is it?

When you want equal rights and yet at the time your are shouting for them you are disgracing your own race by saying n i g g a this and n i g g a that but you wont let white people say it but then you turn around and say we earned it cuz we were hung back in the day.

What the F@#K is that all about.

Black people call us white people names and say horrible things claiming "history" as their adversary to hate white people and do it OUT IN THE OPEN PUBLIC without getting in any trouble.

White people must turn their backs on themselves or have to deal with "history".

Sure a lot of this crap still goes on today as far as the whites hating blacks but at some point it ALL HAS TO STOP!

We cannot grow if we keep hanging out in the history lobby and using that as a reason to offend -people.

Blacks must STOP THIS

And whites...Shame on you if you still do it

Answer 7

"and here I see they have blanked out the word n i g g a where I had out it yet left the cracker remark in there".

ROFLMFAO. Yes, yes, the White Man's Burden. Poor white majority, which has to listen to a bunch of poor black men who've made it big talk about real-life issues regarding race relations in America. Seriously, minority groups go through their entire lives facing horrible racism on a regular basis, yet when you mention the world "cracker", the white majority looks as though it's been shot. Please- you're not getting any sympathy from me.

I'm not saying you don't have a right to stand up to your girlfriend. Leave her if it bothers you that much. Just don't ***** about something like that on here.

Answer 8

I feel sorry... Im black and my boyfriend is white. He knows better than to use such inappropriate terms in front of me (and God help me catch him using it anywhere else!), when addressing me or other blacks, and I sure do the same. Its called RESPECT. I would be really offended if anyone used any racist term to describe me or my boyfriend or any family members, REGARDLESS of what race the offender is.

Answer 9

Simple answer! If you love her.
Then tell her I love you and I want to make it work because of that! I understand exactly what you mean. Tell her that if she is going to get pissed about things like that it will not do any good for both of you! Tell her to look at you and ask herself is she with a racist or a person that loves her?

Once she understands she is with a person who loves her she will probably learn to ignore ignorant situations like that.

Well Good luck! No matter what happens dont become a racist, America is filled with them and Im sick of it!
(Im white by the way)


Good luck

Answer 10

lol they are not going to block the word cracker on yahoo because it is also a FOOD. There is a food section here.