I just don't understand why people want to get married..I'm a spiritual person and believe in God.. I'm scared as hell to get married.. Almost everybody I know has been divorced and now the guys suffer financially and can only see their kids every other weekend.. So, who says you HAVE to get married?? I think it's pointless really..Any thoughts or opinions?
2007-10-21 21:13:17 · 22 answers · asked by fontaine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know it's a choice, I know that I don't have to get married..But some people feel that they have to be married...My friend just popped the question not because he wanted to get married, but because she threatened to leave..They have been living together for 12 years, so why blow a good thing..And the timing of it all is what concerns me..He just got a degree and is going to start making good money...Makes me think a little..
2007-10-21 21:31:12 · update #1
To show a commitment for each other, it is great if you find the right one, if you have kids they deserve a whole family, not just some people casually living together, and as for your other thought, if you get a woman pregnant and you are not married, you will still be paying support anyway, and you will probably only see the kids on weekends.
2007-10-21 21:19:33 · answer #1 · answered by Tommy H 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
marriage are for people who want the committment to last. Most of the time, when there is a goal, there are more reasons to break the goal (rule). Marriage is good if you want to be faithful, if not, don't get married. Marriage has a loophole and it is called a prenuptial agreement which you can use. Kids, well they are the one that suffers in a divorce so why have them? Because long when the money is gone, what you plant for them, you will harvest. So worry more about the kids, not the property coz the law allows you to protect them from other parties. The kids, even if you have a law (normally up to 18 stays with the mother or whoever is more stable), will be the hard parts because either way, their life is ruined. So don't get married if you are not ready. Marry for the right reasons.
2007-10-21 21:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Storm Shadow 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a choice. No one HAS to get married unless they feel they need to. Many people go into marriage VERY jaded. Marriage is nothing like what people idealize it to be. It is ALOT of work. Marriage is something that some people want and others do not. When you decide to marry someone, it is generally because you have decided that this is the person you definetly want to spend the rest of your life with, and you want to solidfy your commitment in a recognizable way. It is a also a way to speed up cycle of the relationship. Through marriage you will learn things about your other that you never thought possible. You WILL be surprised,you will be dissapointed, you will be delighted. The pro's, are getting to proclaim to yourself and others, that you are with your life mate, getting to experience an even stronger bond than you have, it will test the foundation of your relationship to proove it's solidity, and you will get a tax break and other financial breaks. Marriage isn't pointless, because there is much that will occur over the course of your relationship which in the long run will present challanges, and in marriage you are forced to actually deal with your challanges, and move foward, which will really strengthen your ties with that other person, and your love will grow even more if you can imagine that. Also there are no words for the comfort of knowing that you have this person who has commited their life to you, because they KNOW that you are the one that they choose to spend the rest of their time with. Now if you are not the type of person to imagine spending the rest of your life with one person, then maybe you might want to just identify yourself as an avidly single person, and make clear to your partner that marriage isn't for you. Although if you really love a person, marriage will accellerate the growth and developement of your bond, potentially accellarate the development of your relationship too quickly if you are not right for eachother marriage will be the end of your relationship. Good luck!
2007-10-21 21:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, marriage isn't for everybody. Even the bible says for those who cannot control themselves (abstain from sex) to get married. But, it also says that it will make your life more complicated. It's true. I am married and I always wanted to be married. I desired to have a lifelong companionship with a man of God who would not leave me at the drop of a hat or cheat on me with the first fluzy he saw. I also wanted to have children, but in a healthy environment with both parents. So far so good. But, marriage is definitely not without problems. Both people have to go into it knowing this and be willing to deal with it and stick it our "for better or worse, till death do you part". You have to take it serious! There are happy marriages out there. Ones that work and have been going on for quite some time. But, each has it's methods of staying together. Each has boundaries that are not to be crossed, ever!! You've got to find a partner that has generally the same feelings and beliefs on how marriages and families are supposed to work, then you can get married.
2007-10-21 21:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"You have to get married" - it's not a rule for us to be follow. You will get married when you feel it's time for you to do.
"Almost everybody i know has been divorced..." - but it doesn't mean everyone will divorce after getting married, right? A lot of people, after getting married, they have a really good life. They love each other, love their children, teach them to be good children. Many good things will come when you have a small family you have to take care. Of course, there will be a lot of difficulties to face too.
The most importance before getting married is that you really do love and understand each other or not. Think carefully before deciding something, espeacially the most event of your life.
"I'm a spiritual person and believe in God.." - you said. But God never encourage something like "Marry is pointless" or "Get Married means going to Hell", right?
Get married is the important step of love relationship, but it's not the latest step. If they love each other and think seriously about their future, they will get married. ^_^
2007-10-21 21:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by duongkimanh510 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a holy union in the eyes of God. Now days, most people don't do it for religious reasons, but rather to prove their commitment to one another. A few sickos do it so that they get gifts and money. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. A lot of women want to do it because they always dreamed of a fantasy wedding from the time they were little. Men do it because they want to show the women that they love them. The sad thing is, most people don't take their vows as seriously as they should. If they did, then there wouldn't be as many divorces.
2007-10-21 21:34:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Noble Lauret from India Shri Rabindranath Tagore has said, marriage is one such house, where people outside want to enter and those inside want go out.Whether you want to marry or not is entirely your own decision, but you should not make a couple of divorces as basis for your decision.There are a very very large number of marriages where the word divorce is not even thought of.No body will ever say that you HAVE to go into wedlock.If you wish to overlook the brighter side of marriage, it is entirely up to you.
2007-10-21 21:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by yogeshwargarg 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if you want to raise a family its cheaper, taxes are better and all in all its a more stable environment. You shouldn't get married untill you know you have the right person. Thats the reason we have soo much divorce nowadays. People jump the g un or get married when hey accidently get pregnant. Slow it down take a breather and when you find the right person that you want to spend the rest of your life with then believe me you'll want to get married.
2007-10-21 21:17:27 · answer #8 · answered by Christo Minaverus 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is like a good mix of concrete, one part water (One person) and part baton (the other person), Marriage is the mixing of the two. After it initially dries over time the mixture becomes stronger and stronger. This is a good foundation to build a house of VALUES, DREAMS, SUPPORT, TRUST, LOVE, CHILDREN, and finally, UNITY. When you find the right person, you share similar directions in your outlook on life. Producing children and teaching them these values helps to build a better community. As long as the intentions of the couple's values are honorable, and create Harmony within the world around. This is marriage, this is the true foundation of a health comm-unity. There's that word unity again!!
2007-10-21 21:43:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the biggest problem is having kids, not getting married.
Cause without kids ya can only have a problem with assets and such, thats not so bad. unfortunately not getting married doesnt solve this as half your things are theirs after about 6 months of living together anyway.
With kids the problems are Kids Payments and visitation crap. thats where the real problems lie, the solution is not to have the kids, not so many headaches, before and after the divorce.
2007-10-21 21:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by Paul E 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋