I left my abusive husband, now I have no money no nothing, what are my next steps?

Question

I have depended on him for two years. I was a house wife and everything was in his name. I am staying with family right now but not sure what I can do in the mean time while I file for divorce. Anyone out there with some advice, because I feel so lost right now.

Answer 1

You have to do anything it takes to find the money for the retainer and hire a lawyer. Even though everything is in your husband's name, you are still entitled to half of the property that was acquired during your marriage. Also, one year of spousal support (a lawyer will help to get higher amount), health insurance coverage, and some amount of his pension. If he makes a decent living and there is money to get from him, definitely find the money to fund your retainer for the lawyer! Apply for a credit card, or borrow from somebody, but you need to find the money to hire a lawyer. When you find the money, it is never a good idea to hire somebody out the Yellow Pages. Go to the Superior Court of your county (that is where your divorce will take place if you file) and ask around there if they can refer to you an attorney who normally handles his cases there and about his reputation. Normally, the judges will already know him and it will be favorable to you.

The next step for you will be is to get an education (if you don't have one). And then a good job.

Be strong.

Answer 2

Good for you! You should be really proud of yourself for leaving such a bad situation. You did the right thing by going to family, thats what they're there for, support when you need it. The next step is to set yourself up financially. Start looking around for a job and start saving some money. Once you've got some money in the bank, get a loan to buy a car. Take your dad or someone who knows about cars with you so you dont get ripped off and only accept loans through reputable banks with low or fixed interest rates. You're credit rating should be clear because you've never borrowed before so once you've got a job, a steady scource of income, and a little money in the bank, there's no reason a bank wouldn't lend you some cash for a vehicle. Theres no hurry for you to leave your parents place, i'm sure they'll let you stay until you're back on your feet. After the car, start the cycle again, find a better job with more pay ( if you can) or do a course to gain more skills then find a better job. Start saving again and move into your own place. It's only you now so you don't need to get something fancy. Keep repeating the process until you get to where your happy with yourself and your life then start looking for someone to share it with. Some counselling or even just talking to someone on Lifeline or something may also help you deal with letting go of the trauma of the past and help you to look forward to the future.

Answer 3

Hon, most all of us have gone threw what u are going threw and it is no fun..
but there is a lesson to be learned out of this so pay attention..
u don't ever want to be in this situation.. !!!!
so take precautions as u move forward NOT TOO...

i UNDERSTAND THE DEEP DOWN LOW U ARE FEELING AND THE LONELINESS.. IT HURT, IT CUTS.. AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO BUT you..

Contact a women haven.. or go get a job, contact welfare, get food stamps, contact legal aid, get ur divorce, get child support..and don't ever love a man more than u love ur self..

u are important.. u deserve more.. don't go back.. don't talk or see him .. it only makes it worse..
it take up to a year and year and half to get ur head correct.. so hang in there,, don't go man hunting for a long time..
I wish u all the luck, and God bless u.. have the faith .. u will make it threw the storm..

Answer 4

First, nobody should stay in an abusive relationship.
That being said..... Leaving ANY relationship without a "plan" is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute, & asking "family/friends" to catch you before you hit the ground!!
NOT a good idea. It puts un-suspecting, ill-prepared people at risk for your "short-sightedness." I'm not saying this to be "mean", but rather that you may "appreciate" the potential disaster you are asking your loved-ones to deal with.
Someone must have tried to "warn you away" from this guy? Yes, hind-sight is always 20/20. If no-one(who would be right in saying it) says,"I told you so." Give them a big hug,and say, Thank You.
Good luck,& Trust God.

Answer 5

First, I'm so happy for you. I volunteer with and for Battered women in my area. When I find someone is successful at leaving, I give them flowers, makes them and me happy.
There are agencies in every state that will help you. Go to the battered women's shelter in your area and ask for assistance with a job, education, about childcare, housing. If you are in a small town and nothing like this is available,and he was physically violent with you/child, get an exparte order as soon as possible. Only you know how the marriage was. Get counseling too. He may badmouth you to everyone. This is normal too. I am so happy you have supportive family. Just go one day/goal, at a time. Make a list of goals-short term and longer away. I wish you the very best.

Answer 6

Go and see your local domestic violence councilor so you can start working through the pain he inflicted on you not only physically but emotionally as well , other wise your just going to search out another abuser further on down the track.

Find a free to join arts class at your local pcyc or community neighbourhood centre and start keeping a journal to express your emotions and feeling's just before bed.

Go and check out some museums , and stay away from men for at least 12 months , do some soul searching , and find you again.But the major thing , dont ever allow yourself to take the blame for his inability to be a man.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Hey- you did the right thing and it took a lot of strength to do it. Now you need to take stock of your life and decide what to do next. Maybe you could work at a job part time and get some job training. Talk with your family- be sure to let them know you appreciate the fact that they are there for you. Tell them thank you. And whatever you do- don't take the bum back.

Answer 8

Im sorry to hear your problem.?By the way where are you from?I am from Phil.I am abused with my husband mother.Shes like a monster saying all kinds of false accusation towards me.I am also planning to leave my husband and I dont know how.I am on process on my immigration i cant just leave this country US.My husband is a mamas boy i found out i have no future with him.I guess its better for me to leave than waiting for 2 years.Its a waste of time.Well Good luck atleast you going to be free soon.Just be brave and you can make it.Just ask some help to your church so that they will help you financially.or you can get a job for staffing agency.But its good for you to go the church and find a group for woman abused i guess you can ask him so spousal support even everything on his name i know you have a right to his property because you are married to him but i know is not a lots.but still you can have some for you.Just fight for your right .My case is not my husband abussing me.Its my monster inlaw.Its different scenario.I dont know also because i never really consult yet to anybody regarding to my problem.Only here in yahoo.Take care and God bless.

Answer 9

I know what you are going through I've did the same thing 5 years ago. Hook up with a womens shelter they can give advice for legal counselling & assist with job skills training. Get a restraining order against him. Be strong there will be light at the end of the tunnel. DON"T TAKE HIM BACK!!!

Answer 10

Your best bet would be to go to a woman shelter, they'll help you out. You do have rights, everything may be in his name but, you will get a percentage of that, depending on where you live.They have different laws in each state and in each province. I'm in B.C. I know what to do here, but not in the States or even Alberta.

God bless.