My bf and I have been together almost 10 yrs. We both cheated on each other in the beginning of our relationship. He was ready for marriage at first but I wasn't. That's why I cheated and he cheated on me after giving up on me. But we stayed together. He found out about me after 2 yrs & he forgave me. I found out about him after 4 yrs! He should've told me the truth before I moved 3,000 miles away from my family. So here we are still together. Sometimes he brings up my past but when I bring up what he did, he says he did it because of me. We used to fight alot, but now we are just getting along. I always seem to be the one to say I love him first and then he responds. It seems the tables have been turned. When I want to talk to him about the future he'll say he wants to talk about it later. I know he loves me but I'm getting to the point where I don't want to celebrate our 10yr anniv. I want to get married & have children. We've been through thick & thin. What should I do?
2007-10-21 18:49:45 · 8 answers · asked by lvnj16 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you been together for 10 years and you want to have kids how old are you you better not wait to much longer unless you two got together when you were 16. He has not forgiven you for cheating on him,that's why he won't say i love you first and never will until he truly does forgives you. My husband cheated on me and i won't tell him i love him first and i will never ever forgive him. Your man will never forgive you or marry you because of what you did. It isn't easy for men to forgive when they are betrayed and i am really surprised he stayed with you. I'm not saying that to be mean it's just that most men leave when they are cheated on. If he won't marry you then it's time for you to move on and find someone to start fresh with because you two will always fight over what you did and what he did. Can you truly say you have forgiven him ?
2007-10-21 19:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in the comfort zone and you don't want to let go of the 10 year calculation.
Just ask yourself - do you see yourself being with this person, in this relationship for another 30 or forty years? It seems that you both got off on a bad start and the past will always haunt you two.
I say give the relationship a break. Spend time apart. Know what each other wants or doesn't want. You might miss each other tremendously or realize that it isn't meant to be.
2007-10-22 02:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by school_questions 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People whine and whine and whine. Cripes, you get along, don't you. You both haven't been the perfect people you could have been. Heck, forgive each other and get on with life and living it. Do you for one minute think that you'll have a fairy tale life if you leave? LOL. You know your guy, he knows you. That old saying holds true, "the devil you know is better than the one you don't". You want to waste another 10 years of your life? Make this one work!
2007-10-22 02:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by reinformer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Don't waste the rest of your life on someone who will always hold your past against you. Tell him it is now or never to forgive and forget and get married and have children. He thinks he has you where he wants you. Don't threaten to leave unless you plan on following through. How do you know he wasn't cheating on you first? It happens everyday.
2007-10-22 02:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Jodi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 years no commitment, no trust, and no forgiveness? Move on your wasting each other's time. It's either there or it's not.That is up to you guys but- really how much more are you gonna give before you realise that you only get one shot to make yourself happy and if your "partner" is doing it- then move on. It may suck now but you will both be happier in the long run. You'll thank me later.
2007-10-22 02:03:42 · answer #5 · answered by luvmybabys 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it. I spent 12 years married to my last ex, thought maybe it would be better getting married. We were together 20 yrs. total. It never got better. I now heavily regret all the time and effort and money gone because I wouldn't let myself move on. Kept thinking it'd get better. Honey, it doesn't.
2007-10-22 01:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a most difficult situation.
tell him you are ready to have kids and you want to have his kids. ask him if he want kids. let him take the ball from there. i suspect he will drop the ball.
you need to determine if he intends to marry you. likely he does not want to marry you.
for some reason, its really difficult for many men to live down someone getting to the woman he loves.
if you can determine that he will not marry you, it is time to move on, but don't spend 10 years making that determination.
2007-10-22 02:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by ramni222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love him more while you are away let him come for you tell him sex comes after marriage
2007-10-22 02:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by dust s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋