Hi everyone,
I've written several poems, but I haven't gotten any feedback on them. I'd like very much to get some feedback, so I'd appreciate it if you could leave a comment or critique on this.
It's too long to be posted here, so I've put it up elsewhere to be viewed. Sorry about this.
http://cbpride.deviantart.com/art/chroncling-a-dream-67835633
Thank you in advance,
Katie
2007-10-21 18:07:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
bravo wonderful way with words
2007-10-21 18:09:33 · answer #1 · answered by sandershay614 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not fear approximately harsh critique. I've had lots of that during my time. You move forward for those who consider I've written garbage. By the way in which, spelling errors to your first line HH. Should be buddy Add: Unless you've gotten received one more means of spelling it at any place you return from.(smiles)
2016-09-05 19:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by horam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I write a lot of poetry...When I read yours they seem to be more of thoughts that you jotted down, not poems...At least to me. Again, who am I to tell someone what a poem is. Really a poem can be anything that you want to call a poem. Your 'poems' do seem dark and sad. No happy thoughts there. That is normally a sign of a troubled or abused person. Sorry, but I've been there.
2007-10-21 18:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by Churryl K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it you have managed to put into words that drifting,half asleep,slipping in and out of dreams,and consciousness state that precedes true sleep. i like the flow of the sentences,its easy to read aloud. your descriptions of the way dreams and thoughts melt into each other is beautiful.my only critism would be that it rambles on a little,i think it would read better if condensed somewhat.you have a gift.
and if you dropped the dates.
2007-10-21 21:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe your poem captured the experience of dreaming. It reads more like an acid trip (not that I would know anything about that).
2007-10-21 18:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are not poems. this is more like an outpouring of your feelings, which is good therapy but it isn't a poem.
a poem is more like taking a snapshot but instead of using a camera/film you use words.
it's ok to pour out your feelings - but keep these to yourself.
poems are like you are observing a situation.
one of my early poems I published I pretended I was in a room where an auction was taking place,like I was in the room taking a picture, and I did take a picture, but I used words. It turned out good and it was published.
it took a while for me to understand that a poem was not an outpouring of feelings. I still do those but I keep them to myself.
hope this helps you.
email me if you want to chat more about it.
2007-10-21 18:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by art_flood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful.....keep writing! I love to hear such lovely thoughts.....feels like you are in love, no?
2007-10-21 18:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by ~MEEEOW~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very confusing with all the dates etc...
2007-10-21 18:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty neat!
2007-10-21 18:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by steracrudy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is nice but sincerely you need practice
2007-10-21 18:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by maya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋