"Stone"
Creeping,
Mist on the water,
Glisten,
On the road.
Tears,
Blesses to the stone,
Lighten,
Darkness all alone.
Crawling,
Feet no longer needed,
Paved,
Memories to atone.
2007-10-21 17:36:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
A little more detail.
The tears are the water on the stones, cobbled roads you've built and cry upon.
2007-10-21 19:23:25 · update #1
A strong mood poem, of isolation
of loss, of impending loneliness.
good work.
Seems like the result of a lot of
study and careful selection.
2007-10-21 17:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by oldbob 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
There is a certain sadness creeping in again after "Ain't it Grand" facade. In that there was a conscious effort to put up a brave face, even then wistfulness was evident in 'don't you want to know' and 'a pocket full of money'. Hope seems to have given way to grave reality.
May the cold, stone-hearted one realise what is being rejected, is a priceless 'sparkling diamond'.......
2007-10-23 13:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by P'quaint! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paved and gray,
waters washed
day's hues away.
Faces lit,
broken hearts
by his comely writ;
sad and lonely
of fearsome darts
are lovers only.
Here enshrined
lies "stone"
a name worthy
of a home.
That is my poor attempt to say your poem has merit.
Well done.
God bless.
2007-10-22 06:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by Gravitar or not... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Crying on our cobbled roads.
What would we do to be able to repave those roads? If only we could.
2007-10-22 18:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, for what that's worth. I don't understand some of your subject/ verb relationships.
"Tears,
Blesses to the stone,"
I just don't get that line.
Thanks for posting this.
2007-10-22 01:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by aggylu 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Great one! I would suggest to change the title to ....
Philosopher's Stone!
Thanks for asking. Have a great day!
2007-10-22 06:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by Third P 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
good thoughts - but needs work to make it work. I would condense this to maybe 2 lines.
start with blesses to the stone or something in there. you need more creative wording.
2007-10-22 01:23:22 · answer #7 · answered by art_flood 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sets a really fine tone. Not a wave that takes you away into the depths of your heart, but it softly coats the hearts of those who can relate
2007-10-22 01:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is great! I really like it - each word you've chosen. A real keeper.
2007-10-22 11:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
beautiful, a little confusing without an explanation, but beautiful
2007-10-24 18:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by elementgenius93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋