what do you think about this poem?

Question

White flakes like knives
Fall from the sky.
Threatening to take the lives
Of those who lie.

Ripping apart the air.
Shredding the peace.
Destroying all care.
Leaving but a small piece.

Intaking a cold breath,
Searing my lungs and heart,
Freezing life to feel like death,
It will get worse, this is just the start.

One step at a time
Toward a wintry grave.
Uttering one final rhyme
I cannot be saved.

The moon shines bright
Between dark clouds.
I walk out of sight,
Away from the crowds.

Death may prey
In this endless cold.
Now I end this day,
For I will never be old.

Answer 1

You should submit it to poetry.com : )

Answer 2

Not bad but a bit dark and morbid

Answer 3

this is a terribly depressing poem.

be careful saying things like this - for what you say is what you get.

after my wife died I went to a grief chat thing online and nearly everyone who had died had said something usually joking about death like this - and then something happened and they died.

it's horribly selfish.

Answer 4

I like it

Answer 5

good work son

Answer 6

Creative. Though it bugs me a little that you rhymed peace with piece... I dunno.