He is married with someone after we stop contact each other for one year. He dated a girl for 2 months and got married. How can that happen so fast? Will they last long? I know I shouldn't think of him anymore, but after I heard that he got married, and soon will become a father, I feel so sad, and after I heard the news for months, I still think of him and miss him today. I also think about when will they get a divorce..I know this is not right, but I can't control myself from stop thinking of him... We had been together for 4 1/2 years, I really can't forget him. I found out I still love him, and I miss him so much... pls tell what can I do, and what should I do to stop thinking of him?
I even did some foolish thing: I called him, but he changed his cell number, so I emailed him once, but he replied me and told me not to bother him, cause what happened is history... I know, I am very clear about that.. but my mind is out of control...
2007-10-21 16:13:03 · 7 answers · asked by Ellen L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You dont know what you got until you lose it
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
There are other fish in the see
Get a hobby
Seek professional help
Go to a member of your clergy and talk about it
DO NOT TRY TO CONTACT HIM...HE IS MARRIED
If his marriage fails, and chances are it will based on statistics for people who get married after knowing each other for two months.....he will probably be available again someday. He replied to you, do as he says and make him want you when its over for him.
2007-10-21 16:18:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's painful, but you have to move on. He made his choices and he's also asked that you not bother him. If you continue...your actions could be misconstrued as stalking. Your feelings are normal...you're hurt and you feel rejected, betrayed...but you must move on. His actions cannot be undone and nothing you do can change his mind. Accept it...keep yourself busy...surround yourself with friends. If needed, go and talk to a professional.
If it helps...the same sort of scenario happened to me when I was 23. A guy that I dated since high school...we broke up for about 6 months, at which time he met someone and married her 1 month later. The thoughts/feelings you're having are exactly what I endured. When I got word that he was married, I did call him once. We spoke briefly and I never called him again. It hurt...very deeply, but it was his choice...his life and there was nothing I could do or say to undo what had been done. Ten years later...they divorced after he found out she was having an affair. Who did he call? Me, but I had moved on (time WILL heal the pain) and didn't trust that I could go back in that direction...to a person that hadn't thought more of me than to run off and marry someone that he had known for a month. I was better than that, deserved more...just as you do today. Wishing you the best.
2007-10-21 23:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by fLORIda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling yourself that you can't control your mind, because that is false. You are in absolute control of your mind, and you can stop thinking about him if you want to.
What I have done in the past is set a deadline for myself- in other words, pick a date on the calendar, preferably no more than a week away. Tell yourself that you can think about him all you want until this day, and then never again. Allow yourself to think about him, but know that it is only for a short time. When the day comes, do not allow yourself to think about him at all. Whenever your mind goes to him, IMMEDIATELY distract yourself with something else. Every day that you don't think of him, you will be a little stronger and a little more confident. Soon, you won't have to distract yourself- your mind will have moved on. Thinking of him is a habit- you have to break that habit.
He has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with you- it hurts, but it is what it is. Don't let him control your thoughts any longer- he's doing his thing, now go do yours.
Good luck!
2007-10-21 23:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to date other people, find a hobby, busy yourself with something else and your mind will be occupied.
If the response to your e-mail was to leave him alone, he clearly doesn't want anything to do with you. It doesn't matter how long he knew her or dated her before getting married to her. The point is, that he IS married.
You mention thinking of "when will they get a divorce" - it's irrelevant. If he doesn't want to be bothered with you he won't be.
You need to focus on YOU.
2007-10-21 23:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by 1+1=2 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i promise you you will look back one day and lough its only happening to you right now because you haven't met someone yet but I'm sure you deserve mush better just think of the fact that you are available and trust me you will be surprised who will approach you ,,you will be much happier and that's when you realize what was i thinking you just have to occupied your self with your school or work and go out and have fun ...
2007-10-21 23:21:04 · answer #5 · answered by A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grit your teeth and restrain yourself. It's over, it's just your brain playing tricks on you, no matter what his circumstances are or how much validity you believe there is in his relationship, he has indicated clearly that it is over and you must gather your dignity and end your attachment to him and all contact with him as well.
2007-10-21 23:43:36 · answer #6 · answered by consideringall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to move on. Find someone else. It will work out.
The next guy you meet will be better and you will be happy you did not end up with him.
Go now and find a new guy!
2007-10-21 23:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by crasher 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋