husband wife argument-please help?

Question

Please help us. I had a argument with my husband and I think he is wrong, but he claims, I am at fault. Please help us by telling who is at fault and why? Please be fair

Yesterday , I was driving me new Lexus RX350 and parked in the garage. My husband told me to open the trunk door and I obliged. He picked up all the shopping bags ( his hands were full) and went inside. I went out of my car and closed the garage door , while the trunk door of my new Lexus was open. It hit the door and put a dent on it. My husband never told me that he didn’t close the door. I assumed that he had closed the door , so I did close the garage door. I confronted my husband and he told me that I should have looked because I was the one who was coming in the end and he also told me that God has given me big eyes and I should use it. I told him that at least he should have tell me that door is not close and we went in arguments whole night. My question is who is at fault me or my husband. Also, my Lexus locks itself, so I never locks it. I believe he is at fault, but he don’t want to accept, pl help us

actually it was me who shouted on him

thanks for your thoughtful answers

Answer 1

its a draw

Answer 2

I know you don't want to hear this, but if you were still in your car and you saw that your husband had his hands full by taking in all the groceries and he had already went inside, what you should have done was first check to see if the trunk was closed before you closed the garage door. Even though you said that he took all the groceries, how was he suppose to close the trunk with his hands full?

You had assumed that it was closed, but you should have check it to be sure. This was a careless mistake on your part. Hopefully, it will not happen again. You either apologize or admit that you were at fault, or let this marriage be ruined with all the arguments over this careless mistake. Anotherwards, be accountable for your mistake and then move on. It is just a car.....Your marriage should have more value!

Answer 3

First off... It was a mistake, an accident that happened to a car... A human or animal was not injurt, it is a car that got a "dent".

Now,,,, Since you knew your husbands hands were full with the bags, how could he close the trunk????? He would have scratched the paint if he tried to close the trunk with his hands full.... You should have looked to see if the trunk was closed...All it takes is one second to look at the back of a vehicle!

In addition! You should never close a garage door without making sure that nothing is in the way of the door!!!! I know that garage doors have those safety monitors now, however,, those do not always work! What if someone's child was in the garage door way and you closed it??
A person should always double check that the garage door way is clear before they close a garage door... .always!

Sorry, and I cannot believe I am going to say this... Your husband is right... You were careless and assumed,, You are the one that closed the door, you are then one that should have checked to see that the coast was clear to close that door....

Now,,,, go appologize to your husband for putting the blame on him... Tell him that luckily no one was injured in this stupid accident and that a car is not worth fighting all night over!!!!!

Because of you both fighting all night long, you both owe each other an apology for fighting over something SO STUPID!

Answer 4

When my husband and I go shopping, he enjoys seeing how many bags he can carry in and trys to make it so I don't have anything to carry in (which it sounds like your husband likes to do that same for you.) When he does this I run and make sure the house door is open, then I quick clean off the table so he can set it on the table, then I go back out side and shut all the doors and make sure that all that is taken care of. As you saw, his hands were full, how could he have closed the trunk door too? I hope the both of you get over this soon, because this isn't that big of a deal. Just let it go and move on. It's really neither ones fault. It seems to me like your hubby was trying to be sweet by taking all the bags in...just forget about it and make up for gods sake.

Answer 5

Neither of you is at fault. It was an accident....a very expensive accident but an accident nevertheless. If you want to place fault, you are both at fault. He should have warned you that he hadnt closed the door because his hands were full and you should have looked to make sure that he had closed the door before closing the garage door. I think both of you just need to sit down and talk about what is more important...your relationship with each other or your vehicle. The dent can be replaced but the hurt that words make on a person are irreplaceable.

Answer 6

I would have to say that this is an example when we have to say "how important is it ?"...what has happened has happened. How important is it that one of you be responsible ? perhaps you both could look at it now from your hearts rather than your heads. You could analize it until the cows come home ,,,you could spend days and weeks going over the evidence on both sides consulting friends and strangers. Perhaps this can be a reminder to you that life indeed does give us bumps in the road,,or even the vehicle but more importantly how does this all make me /;us feel as individuals and as a couple ...does one of us have to be wrong and the other right ? does one have to give blame and the other take it ..and can we ...and should we ?...All this no doubt stirs up lots of feelings in you both. this ,I suggest this issue is what you may need to take a look at is there a need to be right ?...a need to blame ? ...as a couple are you strong enough to use this incident to examine the underlying emotions that get triggered here...and how it makes you feel if you listen to your gut.

Life will surely bring other things to deal with and this little incident may help you put things in perspective,,,how important is it really.?....Id suggest share the blame ,,,see the good ....you werent hurt/ hubby was helpful to bring in the bags....again I suggest that the isolated incident may not be the issue here.
take care.

Answer 7

It seems like you are wrong. To begin with his hands were full with the bags. second ,you went over and closed the garage door how could you miss the door being opened. third it really isn't anything to argue about all night you guys should kiss and make up... let the small things go

Answer 8

Personally, from the way you explained it, neither of you are at fault - IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND THEY HAPPEN.

Then again, one could say both of you are at fault - you for not checking and him for not mentioning that it needed to be closed.

I don't think either of you should be so bent out of shape over the dent. What's done is done - the only way to correct it is to have the door fixed. Will the two of you arguing about it make the dent go away or reverse the accident from happening?

The two of you should take this as a lesson learned.

Answer 9

It was a simple non communication error - he should have told you he didn't close the door and you should have checked it's that simple. What is blaming going to do about it - just cause more dramas. I think you should both learn from this and learn to communicate a bit more instead trying to blame eachother. Blaming is was siblings do when they don't want to get into trouble. What's done is done and you both should just accept it. What he said whas not called for either - God gave him a mouth and a tongue he could have used it also!

Answer 10

Sorry, I feel as if you should have looked, if only concerned for the fact that you appreciate that your man took all the bags in by himself and you had his back, so to speak. I do thinkgs like that all the time for my man and he greatly appreciates it, that I have his back...wether he needed my help or not. THE ONE NOT ACCEPTING THE FAULT HERE IS YOU...it is hard to imagine you getting out the car last and never seeing trunk left up. Speaks volumes on how you feel about your car as well.

Answer 11

You ad mitt that your "assumption" was wrong and that led to the damage.

I once had a driving instructor who's last lesson was to tell us to turn right into a one way street the wrong direction. As soon as you did you got a royal chewing out. Point being that you are the person behind the wheel and responsible for your decision regardless what any person tells you (including your instructor).

Take responsibility for your own actions and apologize to your husband. You are wrong and if you read your question closely you are very demeaning to your husband.