My wife is hurting me...?

Question

I love her to death, but she is so full of anxiety and worry she beats me up inside, it's almost like abuse, but she doesn't mean it. She cries once a day...is this normal? If what comes up isn't on her agenda it seems like it's not an option. I've tried to talk to her about it, but all I get is an "I know" and "what do you want me to do about it?" She refuses to get professional help. I have tried all I can. She told me I could go back to school and now we are starting to run out of money and it's making her sweat. She is quitting her job because it is too hard on her, so that doesn't help. I love her to death and she isn't that bad, for about 30 minutes, and on weekends lol. What do you think, is there anything I can do or am I stuck for the rest of my life? And is it really normal for someone to cry more than four times a week? Thanks!

Hey open4one... calm down there turbo, I didn't know what to do, I moved here from three hours away for her to stay here at home and I don't have anyone close to talk to so when you imply that I should be more of a husband you should take into effect the disposition of each person in the situation. One cannot be expected to know what he does not.

Answer 1

Look all I can say to you is that she is very unhappy with something or another. could be that she is doing everything it takes to keep you happy and in school or it could be that she is not cut out to be this much stressed. maybe all she wants is for her man to take care of everything that way she will not have to worry about anything anymore look all I have to say is I am not in her shoes but she is if you really sit down and talk to her and say look DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING I WILL QUIT going to school and take care of everything, see how she reacts to that and take it from there, telling her is not good enough doing something about it is. one thing for sure SHE IS NOT HAPPY WITH WHAT EVER IS GOING ON.

Answer 2

It's not normal, unless she's grieving for a parent or someone close to her, but it sounds like she may be depressed or anxious, maybe even a little of both.

Time to make an appointment, first with a doctor to rule out anything physical, like her thyroid being over or underactive or her hormones being out of whack.

If she's cleared, then it's time to see a psychologist, because her behavior is not only destructive to herself, but to you and possibly those around her, affecting her life, her marriage, job, she needs some professional help first.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think as a man you are trying to solve her problems, when in reality she just wants you to support her and tell her that everything will be alright. Hug her, hold her, stroke her hair.

I am guessing you guys are both under a lot of stress. Some women do not handle stress well. It affects us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It may be better if you tell her that you will handle all of it, even if it is kind of a bluff. She may feel like all of this is falling on her head.

Do you have family support around? It may be easier if you guys were close to family. Also, this may be hormonal. But hormones are screwed up from stress.

Answer 4

You need to take a look in your pants and see if there's anything really there.

Look, you say you love her, but do you love her enough to be a man? She's looking to YOU to be in charge. You're not. Her emotions are, and you aren't handling them at all, let alone handling them well.

You need to realize that this is who she is. She's scared, and gets so scared she cries, and what do YOU do about it? You come and ask Yahoo how to handle it.

You need to be a man and learn how to reassure her that you're in control, and that everything is going to be fine, and that the problems at work can't touch anything that matters in your life together.

Lest I be thought a sexist, not every woman wants and needs this (some MEN do), but your wife does.

She doesn't need a shrink, she needs a husband.

Answer 5

Your wife is not hurting you - you are hurting you. Your wife has problems that she refuses to get help for - and that means no progress. And up till now you have chosen to stay in that whole situation.

Either you stay and continue the misery (or do some kind of intervention), or you go. It's the indecision that really hurts.

Answer 6

No, all the crying isn't normal. And, unfortunately you can't force someone to get help if they aren't willing to admit they have issues to work through. It sounds like she needs some type of antideppresent drug. However, she is your wife and that means "through the good and the bad" so please stick with it and try to continue to talk to her and hopefully she will seek help. Good Luck.

Answer 7

All the classical symptoms of the big D. Talk to her MD about depression and maybe he can get her on antidepressants without her being too resistant.

Answer 8

I think I cry about 3 times a year...unless it is a bad year and not counting touching movies. It is not normal to cry that much unless you are a little kid I think...maybe she needs to see a doctor about getting some pixel or something,

Answer 9

u can lead a horse to water but u cant make em drink it . you didnt say whether she drinks or other soooooo...... seems like it may be bad for her to make any big desicions right now, duh.but the above factors i mentioned might make things worse need more clues. GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force her to swallow...

she sounds like a mess

syphon $$ from the marriage until it's gone and put away somewhere (no paper trail) and divorce her and start a new life with someone that is not going to drag you down or be pumped full of mind altering drugs...

the drugs they give for her condition(s) render her completely sexually useless. dry as the iraqi desert and numb from the neck down and from the ears up...

good luck!