Does anyone know if a 12 step program helps with break ups. Mine seems particularly tragic at the moment and its been very difficult for me to deal with the anxiety of knowing he's at another woman's house. Please help me learn how to deal with this.
2007-10-21 15:00:39 · 6 answers · asked by itsjust me123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi IJM,
i saw this question couple of days ago, and i didn't have an answer... and i still don't.
altho i'm at a very happy place right now, i'm not far removed at all from where you are chronologically. it was exactly 3 years and 2 weeks since i was diagnosed with BPD(bipolar disorder) 3 days after that, i came home to divorce papers. (you can read all about bipolar disorder here.. i don't expect you to know... http://eatmybipolarheartout.blogspot.com/ it's a long *** reading, but you're welcome to read it)
today would have been 8th anniversary with my first wife, and the pain is still fresh. (remember what i told you while back? it never hurts any less... but it does hurt less often) well, today is one of those less often days for me.
i know your pain very well, but i don't know you very well... i don't even know your name... but i want you to know that i am pulling for you and i have you in my prayers every night.
2007-10-23 05:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok....AA has the answers to all of lifes problems. In the Big Book....the old one, I don't have the new one on page 449 it talks about acceptance. Acceptance of a situation, person, place or thing is the key to all of our problems. Accepting that it is our Higher Powers will for us to be in this exact situation at this exact time.....remember he will never give you more than you can handle...every time I have been in a tough spot, I have come out on the other side much better off than I was before....I was in a situation similar to yours about 4 years ago. I was in a abusive marriage, we had a business together, I left with $10 in my pocket, no job and no where to go.....Within a month I had a home, began furnishing it, my daughter had toys and clothes, we had food and it still amazes me that I made it through. I went to alot of meetings and just put one foot in front of the other every day and did the next right thing. I kept my eye on the target so to speak...a happy healthy life. Today I am remarried to a great man, money isn't an issue and there is no abuse in my home...I have step children who really try me...however I know that this too shall pass. You will be fine...go to meetings.....get a sponsor....the answers are there.
2007-10-21 22:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about a 12 step program but here is some information that may help you in the link below, and you might find others by putting something like surviving a breakup in your search engine to see wht you can find. It does get better but it takes time.
2007-10-21 22:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the real world of breakups, you are not alone and it is tragic, painful, and almost seems hopeless at times. But, think of yourself as a gift to be treasured, yet to be realized. You've heard it said, time heals, but do not let time pass without you doing your part to preserve that goodness in you. Get counseling, take care of yourself and wake up each morning asking yourself the question: Okay, and how will I radiate my beauty today? Look people in the face, smile, and keep going, your smile may be the only one they will see that day!
2007-10-23 05:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by curiousN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say I am sorry you are going through this. I can only tell you what I do when I go through a loss. Start thinking positive thoughts our feelings are controlled by our thinking. Our thoughts color our whole world. When negative thoughts start entering your mind, disrupt them with positive thoughts. Take good care of yourself, get outdoors and go for walks. Eat a healthy diet. Write and plan your goals, things you want to accomplish. If you feel you need counseling or therapy, go on line and look for support groups in your area, this will not only help but you will meet new people who will not remind you of your ex. The hardest of all will be to forgive your ex, that doesn't mean taking him back but letting him go. I wish you luck and I hope this helps.
2007-10-22 01:39:17 · answer #5 · answered by Len 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your suffering anything like I did, then you can't do this on your own. Look for a good counselor. You need to discuss all of the issues with someone that is objective and has your needs at heart.
2007-10-21 22:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Terry S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋