Does this make your problems seem... well, not so bad?

Question

My husband's best friend and his wife have just gone through some crazy drama!
Married for 8 yrs & have a 4 yr old girl. She cheated on him on 3 seperate occassions, with 3 seperate guys... that he knows of. This was over 3 years. He forgave her each time. She also never worked & spent all their money on random stuff to the point where they'd have $20 out of a $2200 paycheck left to last them for five days. Bills got paid but my hubby's friend told him their bills were only about half of his paychecks. They moved to a bigger city to start over. Then HE met a girl while he was going to school to make their lives better and starting seeing her, telling her that his wife and him were legally seperated when they were, infact, very much together. She found out about the other girl via cell phone records & confronted the girl who told her that they'd been sleeping together for 3 mths. She, then packed everything and moved back to their old town and reunited with her ex boyfriend. He tried

to go after her to get her back about two months after she left, and when he got to their old town found out she was engaged to her ex - now fiance - and, not to mention, pregnant by him.
That is some crazy drama right? They've been driving me crazy with this stuff for weeks now, and driving my husband crazy... like we don't have our own problems!
...but, it does make our problems seem small in comparison.
What do you all think? Who was more wrong or were they both wrong? And have you ever known a couple to go through this kind of crazy drama?!?!

I agree about their daughter being the one suffering here - she is the sweetest little thing in the world, and honestly, the only reason I've even kept in contact with them... my son and her are playmates and she calls me Aunt Chele.
It's sooo sad!

Answer 1

Firstly, the guy's crazy for even staying with her after the first affair.... besides the fact he let her railroad his paycheck into the dirt. I've seen other relationships go haywire and get twisted...not this bad, but in the same ballpark. In the end, tho, it turns out he isn't any better than she is because he cheated on her. Regardless of the fact she did him wrong three times. He's a dolt for putting up with it.
Life is too short to put with a bunch of crap.

Answer 2

Two wrongs most definitely make a right. I tell you somebody needs to grow up for the sake of the child. Now she about to be mother to two children. This is what happens when people do not take their vows seriously. Try to be a support team for them and help out with the child as much as possible after all she is the most important thing.

Answer 3

i think she was in the wrong at first then he messed up then he was wrong because 2 wrongs dont make a right and sorry for the child their better off apart and she didnt waste no time on getting pregnant and getting engaged lol i hope the child is doing ok and i have seen this kind of drama before and it is crazy but it does happen alot

Answer 4

perhaps through fact morality is a hinderance to earthly progression and fabric aquisition. an quite ethical man or woman can never be thoroughly egocentric (besides the certainty that Ayn Rand might disagree) and so will place the happiness of others among their own targets, and in so doing will sacrifice a number of their own happiness. The question comes right down to; 'does morality have its own intrinsic value which makes it ideal, even contained while it comes to fabric want?' nicely, i don't be attentive to, yet this concept has been meditated for hundreds of years and is the optimum concentration of the e book of pastime (OT) which despite in case you're no longer religious (like me) is a desirable examine.

Answer 5

first of all they both are married to one another and to commit adultery is forbidden so the wife was wrong in the first place but two wrongs dot make a right..she has done things to him time and time again and he has forgiven her. They moved to another city and than he found someone else and told them he was separated from his wife and that was not true. and the wife found out about there affair. Than she left and went back to their home town. I tell you this they both are wrong if your not in love with someone and dont want to be with them at least be honest about it. Do things right he had grounds for divoice a long time ago should have got out instead of staying and making like everything was okay.

best of luck

Answer 6

Well, sounds like the relationship was just all wrong in general. I'm kinda sad that they couldn't work it out. They seemed to really care about each other.

I think having an affair for 3 months is a lot worse than 3 slip-ups over a period of years. But her slip-ups strongly contributed to his self delusion that he wasn't doing anything wrong by cheating on her back.(which says to me he never really forgave her, he just didn't break up w/ her)

Answer 7

They are both married to the wrong person.Its unfortunate that two nuts like this had a child because the child always suffers the most.I suggest that you try to stay out of there situation because the only solution for them is to get a divorce. Their marital problems are unsolvable.Good luck.

Answer 8

Yeah I feel for the daughter , but as to the problems , they invented and invited them into their lives so they truely deserve what they bring upon themselves.

Does it make my problems seem minor? nope , if you knew me and what I've been through since May 2005 , you wouldnt even need to wonder the question.

Tell the husband to move on and get a new life his ex has as to you and your husband stick close to that little girl she need's some kind of stability that these pair of twits are totally incapable of giving her. Good luck.

Answer 9

i've seen worse honestly. This has nothing to do with you. Sounds like they were perfect for eachother. It's just silly i bet they are young and immature. I'ld not listen to a min of this non sense. on the drama scale it about a 2-3 it's not that weird or shocking acually.

Answer 10

wow
your very pretty!
i think ppl have a natural tendency to become bored with our spouses
i think its natural
so when a new hot thing walks by we dont understand why we feel very turned on or excited
HERE IS THE KEY!!
its how we deal with this that makes us leave or cheat on our spouse
ppl who were raised in ahouse where siblings were allowed to fight and say ugly things, treat their spouse like a sibling or the way they saw their parents act
some get sick of seeing their spouse
some just secretly cheat
some go to open marraiges
some just leave
in the drama we get to blame some one else
the worst excuses i hear are he or she "dont attend to my emotional needs any more"
so when some one gives them attention they are willing to leave their family! for the new experience
go figure
later they often decide i shouldnt of left
if it was just sex then return to your marriage
and try not to cheat