I have a very interesting question about moving in with someone! Need your help!!!?

Question

My boyfriend and I are making a list of questions for each other before we move in together (we have been together for 2 years) We are going to create questions about our future goals and we are exchanging them for each other to answer so we can see how we feel about certain issues that we haven't discussed or haven't thought of. Some of my questions are
1. What type of job or career is each of us working toward?
2. How much do we need to live on? Want to live on?
3. Will we live near our families or not?
4. Will one of us be willing to be a stay-at-home parent?
Okay...You get the idea. Help me to create topics we should discuss before moving in together and taking our relationship to the next level. please give me some questions you think are important in your relationship that maybe I have not thought of yet.
Thank you for your participation. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't bother. This is just something we are doing to learn more and have fun!

Answer 1

very nice - you both are applying for an application of "will it work out?" Here is one for you - "do you see us being married in a couple of years"(or whatever time) - (playing house could be hurtful for you, so be careful) - you both seem to be very smart. - good luck

Answer 2

You should definitely talk about your expectations towards housework. How are you going to divide it? Cooking, dishes, laundry, trash, general cleaning. Usually people have different ideas how often it has to be done, so you should definitely discuss it because they cost most of the fights. Do you expect to be done once in a week? Once in the month? Also you need to discuss the bills and how they are going get paid. You should discuss your finances and agree not to buy anything expensive besides other person's approval and so on. Are you planning on getting married soon? How does he see your future together, and how do you see it? How many kids you each would like have ideally? Where would you live if you get married, if your each family lives in the different states?

As long as you both are willing to talk and compromise, you will be okay.

Answer 3

The biggest question here can also be asked of couples contemplating marriage; what happens to all the stuff acquired during the relationship if due to some unforeseen reason the relationship falls apart, including the bills, any contracts, etc? Not a easy as it once sounded is it? Wish you two all the best in the world

Answer 4

Communicating is the key to a good relationship.
Moving in together gives you a chance to learn more about each other. There are people who never live together and just go straight into marriage. Relationship is an on going learn process,even after marriage.
Keep in mind things change and people change. My advice keep communication.

Answer 5

i agree with everything lynnette r said, and would also add this:
u have listed how much do we need 2 live on/want to live on...how about separate checking accounts or combined checking accounts? money problems r the number one reason 4 divorce today after infidelity and abuse.
do either of u bring to the 'marriage table' "baggage" of previous debts? will u share in paying them off or is it up 2 the indebted person 2 pay his/her previous debts off alone PLUS help in supporting the new "family" of u 2 living together.
good questions u may need 2 answer along with the ones u thought of.

Answer 6

How will you handle household finances (who will pay for what, etc)? ...that's a good one.

I kept joint accounts with my (now) husband when we first moved in together. The household expenses came out of one pot, so there were never any "you didn't pay as much this month as I did" arguments. We ALWAYS run purchases larger than $25 by one another although with the money we make $25 isn't that substantial... it's just good manners.

I know even some married couples who keep separate accounts, but that just seems foreign to me. It seems to me joint accounts are a big way to show ultimate trust for someone... presuming of course, that you DO trust them with your finances.

Answer 7

whose money pays for what? are bills to be 50-50? how much will you put back for savings? whose name is the property going to go in? how much time will be devoted for alone time? time with each other? time with friends? is marriage in the future? children? how about chores? who will be responsible for actually doing certain things that neither wants to do? who will cook most meals? will vacation time be used separately or together? are there any friends the other cannot stand to be around? what will you do when they come over to visit? what will happen to everything you acquire as a couple, if you decide to call it quits?

Answer 8

I think that is a great idea. I would ask about kids and how many and how long after marriage or living together do you want them. Ask about priorities. list the 5 most important things to you in order of importance.

Answer 9

Hi LilM:
What an excellent and sound idea!Everyone should consider doing this before they go into serious relationships - might empty some divorce courts!!
Add one: What happens if (when) we break-up? Who gets what, especially the kids? Most divorce lawyers will tell you that's the toughest one to solve!

Answer 10

Who is responsible for household chores?

How long living together until marraige?

How many kids & when do we want them?

Instead of fighting can you talk to me or just start ripping your clothes off to end the fight??

LOL not so much is the last one for everyone but it is for me!! haha congrats on the new step in life