My married friend has been having an affair with a woman he really likes. But he always complains that she is moody, difficult, snobbish, and sometimes ignores him. But he also tells me that she loves him, and that when she is nice she gives him attention which he adores as he does not have it with his wife.
Lately, over an argument, he left her house in a hurry and she was so pissed off that she called his house at 4 in the morning! Repetitively, a million times. He answered (the whole house had woken up!) and she swore and insulted him and asked to 'speak to his wife' just to scare him.
He was so shocked that he did not know what to do.
Next day she calls and tells him she loves him, blablabla. He tells her that he can't get over what she did, and lost his trust in her.
What I don't understand is : he still calls her, and he tells me that she has many problems and she needs his help,. that he still cares for her, still loves her, but is confused what to do.
Why talk to her???
2007-10-21 12:13:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because men are stupid and creatures of habit and never learn. There is nothing you can do for him as he seems he has to learn things the hard way. It appears this woman has emotional problems beyond his capability to handle and is actually afraid of what she can actually do to his family and has already demonstrated this to him. Hes realizing he has no idea of how to get out of this without everything becoming a total disaster. In other words this woman practically owns him and his life due to his stupidity. He got himself into this mess and hes the only one who can get himself out. Just be careful that you dont get caught up in this mess by his wife. If this woman is emotionally unstable as you say she is,then his only hope is to come clean and own up to all of it to his wife and whatever happens is going to happen anyway here
2007-10-21 12:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LMAO thats funny , he's having an affair cause his wife pays him no attention yet it sounds like the mistress is more trouble then the wife . This chick must rock in the sack why else would he put up with garbage from his wife and lover hahahaha , I'm sorry I just really think your friend is brainless and gutless I mean come on he has no commitment ties to the skank so why hang onto her.
And why are you helping him are you female? listen sweety if your tryna advise him hoping he'll move from psycho drama queen to you just dump the cheating friend now you'll be better off he sounds like he has MAJOR issues.Good luck.
2007-10-21 19:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your friend seems to be confused in what it is he wants to do. A friend would direct the person to work on his marriage and to honor the wedding vows. Otherwise, he should get out of the marriage and devote his entire time to taking care of his mistress. While he is out fooling around, does he know what his wife is doing and does it matter? Those are questions that require some thought and only the people involved can truly answer them.
2007-10-21 20:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure this isn't about you. Anyway why talk to her because he is an man and only thinks from one place on his body !!
If he was that shocked etc then he should be able to stop seeing this mistress he seems to be enjoying the thrill of the game, is he hoping his wife cottons on and throws him out so he doesn't have to make the decision?
Men seem to be able to live a double life for some time and then it all usually falls apart, its not fair on his wife and if they have children its not fair on them.
The way he describes the other woman as moody etc seems to me that he really doesn't like her that much what game is he playing, the other woman is massaging his ego and I think he is soon to have a major fall.
2007-10-21 19:28:15 · answer #4 · answered by BigMomma2 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm not one to judge the morality of the fact he is married and is having an affair. Love is love and as they say "the heart knows what it wants"
However...
This is a classic abusive relationship. This woman has a lot of power over your friend and she knows it and is apparently NOT afraid to use it to get what she wants.
He needs to come clean with his wife, take his lumps, but at all costs get away from this monster. If she really loved him, she wouldn't threaten to ruin his life and their relationship.
My best of luck to him. I hope he has a very loving and understanding wife.
My advice to you is to be there for him through this really rough road. He's going to need all the support he can get, whatever the outcome.
2007-10-21 19:22:24 · answer #5 · answered by Cap'n Rita 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have a talk with his wife. It's not fair to her or the kids that he is ruining their lives. This woman could be crazy enough to hurt his family just to be with him. How would you feel if that happened? He's a bum, and you need to let his wife know what's going on now before someone gets hurt
2007-10-21 19:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he certainly is confused, and may have a low self esteem, and it makes him feel important to be able to help someone like his mistress. but he is just asking for more of the same from her, if he had any brains he would not call her anymore, she has shown him her true colors, and who she really is. its bad enough to have an affair, knowing he is married, but to blatantly call the man's home and threaten his marriage, that is carrying it a little bit too far, she sounds mental and it takes a really ugly person to be able to pull off such a deed.
2007-10-21 19:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he likes the drama of it all? Sounds ridiculous, I know, but there are people out there that love to be the centre of one drama or another. If he really loves her maybe he needs to consider getting out of his marriage, but only he can decide. I'm afraid the best you can do is listen!
2007-10-21 19:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by raceylaidee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not surprised about this happened. What comes around goes around! and I am fully agree with Arthur W answer. Cheating is the worst thing can happen in someone life as we feed ourselves with illusions and at the end you just realize was a very not worthy time spent. Check this and then no more secrets for how will end this story!
please check this : http://www.cheaternews.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=989&sid=62212f8cb6eaa38ff46def43c6c964e1 and your firend will have all answers he needs!
2007-10-22 08:48:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like a BUnny Boiler to me. Advise him same, and get his *** out of there for good. Might be a good idea to move house as well
2007-10-21 20:26:49 · answer #10 · answered by deadmeatuk2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋