My friends and bf just died in a car crash today. Please help, I dont know what to do with myself. They were going to a party/bbq this afternoon and I was suppose to be in the car with them but I was grounded so my parents wouldnt let me go. I was suppose to be in the car, I wouldve died! I was on the phone with them when they were about to leave and thats the last I will ever talk to them! My friend who was driving lost control when an animal ran across the road and they crashed into a tree. I am freaking out right now, they were all so close to me and now they are gone! Help me please I am hurting so bad right now, I dont know what to do with myself. I loved them.
2007-10-21 11:43:20 · 20 answers · asked by bffjill? 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It's going to be a very rough couple of months for you I am sure. I know what its like to lose friends. In the past 4 years I have said goodbye to 5 good friends. Their causes aren't important, but it was extremely hard to say goodbye.
Just know that God made your parents ground you because it wasn't your time. It was theirs, and they are in a much better place now. They are away from the harsh world we live in. They will always be with you though. Just remember that they are your guardian angels now, and when it's your time.. you will all meet again.
To help the grieving process you and your family, and your friends who were also close to them could go to your school counselor. I'm sure a lot of kids at your school are hurting just as much as you right now. Be there for everyone, and everyone will be there for you.
You need to talk about how you feel, because if you don't you will never feel better.
Write down the way you feel in a journal if it helps. Write them each a letter and place it in their coffins when you say your last goodbye.
Ask their parents if you can say something at each of their funerals about them. It might make you feel better to talk about them and remember good times.. it may even bring a few smiles to everyone else's faces.
When you go to their funerals, you are allowed to sit in front of them for as long as you need. Cry, talk to them, pray for them, tell them you love them and give them each a kiss... just remember its not goodbye forever.. its "until we meet again"
When I went to the funerals over the past 5 years (I'm 20) I did all of that stuff and it really made me feel better. Me and my friends had a saying for everyone that passed away...
"They say that it's the end.. but you'll always be my friend"
My deepest sympathies to you , your friends, your family, and the victims families. It's a real shame to see young people pass away, but unfortunately life isn't very fair.
Do your best to move on, and keep them in your heart forever.
I am always here if you need someone to pour your heart out to. I know you don't know me. But I have been in that situation many times, and it's very hard to say goodbye to friends.
Hope you feel better soon :)
2007-10-21 13:14:51 · answer #1 · answered by Mimi 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry! It will help if you can spend some time with your friends' families and honor your friends by being at the memorial services. Let your emotions come as they will; do not try to avoid your feelings. There is healing in the grief process and as time goes by, you will be able to focus less on the awfulness and more on the sweet memories which you will always have of them. You were spared for a reason. You have a purpose to fulfill in your life so make them ...and you...proud. God bless!
2007-10-22 10:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love comes loves died.... I am really sorry for what happened and that you lost them but you would have been dead too if you would've been in that car. God saved you for some reason and who knows if that was their time to go. I have a friend who lost her boyfriend because someone shot him she was sad for a long time and now she has someone who loves her so much and so bad that if one or the other dies 1 will be destroy. You are going to start letting go when you think you are ready. Well hun i'm really sorry to hear this. Is really sad and i wish you feel better. Good luck!!
*MS.G*
2007-10-22 05:40:53 · answer #3 · answered by *ARMY GIRL* (*MS.G*) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a loved one (mom, dad) just HOLD you. Just have them hug and hold you and not let go until you are ready to stand up on your own two feet. I have no idea what this may be like, but I can only assume if you are looking for comfort on Yahoo answers that you are desperate for consoling. I am so so so so sorry for your loss here. Getting over the death of a loved one, not to mention several loved ones takes nothing but time and comforting from those around you. Please visit a church daily if necessary and pray for inner peace b/c the turmoil you are feeling is no doubt overwhelming. Even if you don't normally go to church, i think you will find some peace there, if not more. Please be well...I'm sending hugs your way
2007-10-21 19:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by Alaina's Mumma! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your lost I know what its like to lost a best friend, You want to die, never eat again, never sleep, all you can do is cry, and when you first hear about it you can't do anything and you can't speak. You go through so many new feelings and experiences. You just have to keep everyone you really care about close to you. Talk to them and don't let any feelings you have stay inside you,
2007-10-21 20:51:23 · answer #5 · answered by Texas Chic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg. I'm so sorry for your loss. First thing you need to do is talk to your parents and let them know how you are feeling. They can get you set up with a grief counselor. You're school will most likely have them available also. Talk with friends too, it will help you all deal with the tradgedy. Thank God you were not in that car and know that it's okay to cry and be angry and have all the feelings you are feeling. Let yourself feel your feelings, but be sure to share them with someone who cares about you. Keeping them to yourself is not going to help. Take care.
2007-10-21 18:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by mackybethsmommy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your Parents saved your life.
You are going to be OK. You should let yourself feel the emotions, cry; but then you should try to be there for your friend's family members. Try to remember to be strong because they are suffering right now--they have to bury their own children. Also, seek counceling from your school, and let your Mom know how sad you feel right now. But you can & will move on and survive.
I'm a Teacher, and honestly--many states have laws that dont allow teenagers to drive in the car with other teenagers. Teens who drive with other teens in the car have more car accidents because they take more risks while driving. I wish parents would understand that if they are going to lavish their 16 year old with brand new cars--they should set limits for how often and what times they can drive--like not driving at night because most teen car accidents happen at night.
PARENTS PLEASE BE MORE RESPONSIBLE WHEN YOU GIVE YOUR KIDS CARS. LET THIS POOR GIRL BE A LESSON FOR YOU TONIGHT. DONT LET YOUT TEE DRIVE AT NIGHT, AND DONT ALLOW THEM TO TRANSPORT & DRIVE WITH OTHER TEENS.
2007-10-21 19:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
2007-10-21 18:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh.I am soooo sorry for your loss.I know you are feeling awful.You shouldn't be alone at this time.Maybe you can get with some of your other friends and plan a remembrance day for them.God bless you and your friends and family.My heart goes out to you.
2007-10-21 22:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by flavagirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very tough time for you...time does heal some of the pain, but not all...you will never forget these people...see a counsellor as soon as you can..you really need someone to talk to.
2007-10-21 18:51:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋