What do you think?

Question

I am 17 years old. I graduated high school last year. In a few months, I will be a sophomore in college. I have been with the same guy for 3 years. I love him very much, and we have both given up so much so that we could be together. I have lived with him since I graduated. He joined the Air Force, and we want to get married. When he comes back from basic training, we can get married, and we can live in a house on base. i will be 18 the month after we get married, and He will have turned 20 a couple months before. some of the people that I care about the most are telling me that I am too young.Some of them won't even talk to us anymore! Most people aren't a sophomore in college and living on their own until they are 20. And they said if I were 20, they wouldn't have a problem with me getting married. They don't look at what I've done in my life, just my age. I could understand if I haven't finished high school, and got pregnant, but that is not the case.

I love him, and I want to spend my life with him. I am aware of the sacrifices that must be made on both parts to keep a marriage strong,(especially in a military marriage,my dad was in army) and I know that it takes hard work, but I am more than willing to do that work. I want to become part of a team, and I feel like together, we can improve our lives. I just hate for my friends and family to look down on me,but I am confident about my decision.Do you think that I am making a mistake? If so, why? What should I do about those who diapprove?

Answer 1

No-one is inside your head or your heart. On the surface it does seem like you are both far too young to get married. You have been with him since you were 14. You were both children when you fell in love. Children's love is a lot different to adult love. Maybe the child love has grown into an adult love.....I don't know, and either does anyone else. You will do what you will do no matter how many people disapprove. Maybe the marriage will work, maybe it won't. But people in their 30's take the same risks too. You dont just see young people getting divorced....you see all ages getting divorced. Marriage is a risk no matter how old you are. As a matter of fact I know of 2 girls who were 16 and both of them got married because they got pregnant. Both stories were different. One of the girls were madly in love with the guy and the guy was madly in love with her. They are still happily married and that was 20 years ago. The other girl was a sexually abused child who only wanted a family....she got pregnant deliberately and the guy didnt love her, but felt responsible. They have been married for over 30 years, but it 's been a terrible marriage. They will be divorcing soon.

What I am trying to say is if there is love then you have a good chance of the marriage being a happy one.

To the people who do not support you and who wont even talk to you, then I say.....good. They are not your friends anyway. A friend will give their opinions, but they wont desert you if you decide something that is different to how they think. A real friend will respect your decisions even if they think it is wrong. We all must have the freedom to live our lives how we see fit and if it doesnt hurt anyone else, then you can decide what you want to do with your life.

If both of you are madly in love with each other and you really want to get married, then you will. Family and friends will come around eventually.....but you will make new friends too. This is your life and you have to do what is right for you.

Answer 2

Each of us has to experience life in our own terms. Nobody can predict what the outcome of any situation will be. When it comes to marriage and relationships, most of us go with what statistics show. I'm part of those statistics, therefore, I cannot give you unbiased advice. I got married at 19 and had my baby boy when I had just turned 20; got a divorce and now live happily (I don't know if "ever after") with my second husband who's 14 years older than I am. He takes care of me and my baby and is the best man I have ever met. You seem to be a very mature and responsible woman, so you never know...all you can do is give it a try and do your best to make it work.

Answer 3

When it comes to marriage, people will always react differently and mostly unfavorably. I personally feel you are young. Marriage is just a door to another life not an end in itself. Your marriage as of now has an equal chance of surviving as much as it can fail, all marriages even of those "within the acceptable ages" have a 50-50 chance so do not let anyone scare you.
Your education is very important as much as your youth, do not throw it away. Give it some year or two then you can get married. Let him settle in the army as you get your education for a better life.

Answer 4

It sounds like u n ur boy have got it together. Props for that alone! Not many ppl ur age can say that. And yes, being involved in the military is very tough, and u seem to know because of how u grew up. So u know what lies ahead. As far as u guys gettin married, like i said it sounds like u got it together. So why not?? If u truly feel like this is the man u want to spend the rest of your life with, and he feels the same, then screw what other ppl think! Right?? If it what makes you happy, then by all means, do it. Your fam n friends will come around eventually. And if they dont, the friends that is, then they werent truly ur friends. Good luck!!

Answer 5

Unfortunately most couples that marry between 17 and 23 stand a very good chance of marriage failure. Most use those years to grow up, have fun, finish college and get to learn alot about life and its challengs and getting to really know ones self. Add to that the challenges of married life and thats a realgood recipe for divorce. The idea age for both is around 24-25 and even then most end up struggling especially in todays society. Your accomplishments so far are quite admirable but thats all they are, in no way prepare you to face lifes challenges so thats prbably why your friends are looking differently toward you. Wait a few years and your chances of marriage success go up drastically. Think about it but then it is your life and your choice.

Answer 6

If you feel so strong about this then you may be right and things will work out.I know a couple of old timers who got married when she was a senior in high school and he was a 20 year old sailor ( back during WW2) and they are still together( more than 60 yrs) they are the sweetest couple.So who is to say you are not doing the right thing.

Answer 7

Just because you live on your own does not mean that you are ready for marriage. That doesnt prove anything.
What is the rush in wanting to get married so young? If you are meant to be, you are meant to be. You wont believe me when I tell you this, but you are going to change SO much in the next 5 years. What you think you want now may not be the case 5 years from now. I would wait until you are older to get married.

Answer 8

I think this isn't about age I think it is about mature if you are mature enough to do that and to know what could be the consequences and to accept them and confront them and most of all that you are responsible for the consequences not your parents they aren't responsible for your acts since the moment you made the decision to be an adult so, now you have to act like an adult and the first thing you have to do is to be objective, cold, think with your head not with your heart I know that when we are in love everything is wonderful but sometimes we can't see beyond our noses because we are in the most beautiful but the most silly state (IN LOVE) and we can make big mistakes but another thing I can say is that nobody learns in others shoes you have to make your decisions and you have to make you own mistakes too but please think very carefully why you want to do it if you decide to do it do whatever you have to do for being happy and I wish you the best :-)

Answer 9

it seems like u have accomplished some things,thats good.u r young.if u r experienced in taking care of yourself I don't see anything wrong with it . there is alot you need to learn in life. my sister got married at 17.all is well we didn't want her to at the time.4kids later there find,she's a at home mom all is good with them.but what I think, how the way she is I think she lost her identity .I think she was too young and she married somebody that was too dominate . they are just alike I don't mean the good parts of that.she lost herself.maybe your fiance isn't that way but if u do this don't lose yourself your ID.

Answer 10

You sound very mature to me. I met my fiance when I was 15, and we've been together for 7 years. If you know in your heart that he's the one, and he obviously knows it in his heart as well, then go for it.

As for the people who won't even talk to you, let them go. I had friends who didn't want to be friends with me anymore when they found out he was older than me. If people would rather be right than be a friend, then who needs 'em? Go be happy while they're busy being "right".