Think my husband is poisioning me. What should I do?

Question

Tonight is my 34th weding anniversary and every year he sits there like a big kid waiting for his presents, and never gets me anything. He doesen't even bother opening his cards. Whatever the occasion, I've never had anything from him. Not even when the kids were born. Not even a daisy from the garden! He's had everything you can think of and all he says to me is I'll get you something tomorrow, but he never does. My kids have grown up sick of his uncaring attitude and non interest in everything. Well right now he's sitting downstairs and I've bought him nothing for the first time, he's expecting a gift which is not coming. But Im getting scared, I can't take drinks off him anymore, I've caught him crushing up tablets in my tea cup a few times, and found open condoms in his wallet. I've confronted him, but he denies it. He's worked permament nights in a hotel for 8 years. I've tried talking to him, but he's to bad tempered and angry. I have nowhere to go. What should I do?

Answer 1

I would talk to the police and change the locks if you really think he is poisoning you. Perhaps you could get a restraining order against him. You could possibly set up a miniature camera in the kitchen to catch him doing this. If possible keep the drink which you think he has poisoned and take it to the police station to be analysed.

Answer 2

Get friends or off duty cops that are willing to help to snag proof.
Make sure there's a cop out side or very close to keep an eye on everything just to make sure he doesn't attack you.
If he denies everything, then tell him off, but make sure you have friends around at the time. Lots of friends so he knows he can't hurt you.
If he look agitated, then tell him that your going to go to the store and get something you know he likes.
If he attacks you or is attacking you. Then tell him your going to the store and you'll be back in a bit.
Don't pack anything, just leave it.
Make sure that if you run, you get as much cash as you can that very same day.
I don't know what else to say.
People are so unpredictable, even you've been with them for years.

Answer 3

If what your saying bout poison is true then leave just goto a friends for now not a best friend but someone he would not think of contacting then get some muscle to help you get your stuff back when hes at work. About presants, i have been with my girl for 16 yrs and only ever bought her a tshirt on her 16th birthday eventhough she has bought me cards but not presents, Its mad but were just not in a present type relationship.

If you think you have been poisoned take a sample of the drink or whatever with you it may help if you go into death mode to identify the substance, ow and get him nicked to thats well sad of him to do that.

Answer 4

Let him make you a drink. As soon as he goes out the room, put some of it into a clean container and get it analyzed. See your doctor and ask, casually, where you could get something analyzed, if you needed to. I would also mention your fears to the doctor.

I'm so sorry you're so sad. I wish I could wish you a happy anniversary, but if I do, it's only to you and only for the times that were good.

You definitely will need to get proof about the poisoning. You could also go to a private clinic, they will do blood tests for you, some poisons/drugs leave the body after 48 hours, so you will need to get it done as soon as you think you may have injested something.

Oh I wish I could help more, but my hands are tied. I'm here though if you just want to talk.

Answer 5

Right - first off go to your doctor. Get your hair and blood analysed, which will prove whether or not he has been administering you anything. That will help you in court and put him behind bars.

Then report him to the police.

Then get a lawyer.

This can all be done in one day.

This man is a cold human being. Just get out. You say you have nowhere to go. Yes, you do. There are women's shelters, all sorts of places. Why stay where you are unloved and at risk?

Answer 6

Gee things are pretty bad if you think he is capable of poisoning you. You think you have no-where to go, but you do. You just have to think a little more carerfully. It sounds to me like you are married to a pretty abusive uncaring man. I think that would be reason enough to ring up a domestic violence refuge and get some information. You cant live like this, you have to get out. Its very serious if you honestly think he wants you dead. You are risking your life staying in this marriage. If he succeeds in killing you, what will become of your children? Ring the Salvation Army/Samaritans or any other welfare organisation who will help you get out of this horrible marriage. Its going to be too late after you are dead.
You are not thinking straight by staying. Why do you think he wants you dead instead of divorcing you? If you die then he doesnt have to share your marital assets. If you make the move and divorce him then you will get half (probably more because you have the kids) of the marital assets. Start the process now before its too late.

Answer 7

You have been married for 34 years, your an adult and your kids are grown. Get some proof, go to the police then move on. If you have no where to go, what about family, your kids or even friends? In a bad relationship you would be surprised who is willing to help you get on your feet. There are too many nice guys out there willing to treat a woman with respect to stay with one who treats you like nothing.

Answer 8

First of all, if I really thought he was poisoning me, I would get the hell out. How in the world can you just hang around and see what he's gonna do next. If you can been with him for 34 years, his behavior is not new to you, especially the part about him not ever giving you anything. YOU have known this for a long long time. The only way to end all of it is to get the hell out. YOU say you have no where to go. There a shelters for people that are being abused, go there. If you suspect poisoning, go to the police. There are alot of things you can do, but you have to do them. Long time ago, you should have put a stop to his behavior, but you chose not to. That is your fault, not his. Ever heard the saying, we teach people how to treat us! Well, you taught it to him. once he did it the first time was when you should have put a stop to it and walked away. He knows you aren't going anywhere..You have to get the strength to walk away and not look back. And furthermore, it wouldn't take but one time for me to find condoms in my partners wallet and his *** would be kicked to the curb.

Answer 9

next time you see him crushing tablets onto your drinks, have the drink examined. first you report it to the police. also do go the the nearest citizen advice bureau and get some legal advice, on housing, money and how you can handle this on your own. after all your are not on your own. your kids will support you. leave him, but find suitable accomodation first. when you go to the police, do mention the heavy drinking and the violence / you are scared of him. dump him. take this rubbish no more. there are plenty of people out there like you. and keep the condom too next time.
good luck and be strong. it is not too late to get a nice, decent and satisfying life.

Answer 10

Pack up your clothes and other things you want to keep such as pictures and other sentimental items. Go to a women's shelter and get the police involved. They will help you get a lawyer and get a divorce. Your life is in serious danger right now and you feel threatened you need to leave. If you don't think you can get out safely call the police and tell them you need help. Good luck. Call a friend or family member for backup if you don't want the police.