Do you stay in a miserable marriage for the sake of the children?

Answer 1

Thats really tough, but the kids will understand better when they are older, that the parents just werent right for each other.

Good Luck!

-Allie

Answer 2

No, because your children are probably just as miserable as you are. If you do stay in a bad marriage your children could develop some really warped views on good relationships. This will affect all thier future relationships. It is better to teach them that sometimes things end. Make sure you get them some counseling so they understand what is going on and how to deal with things. Family counseling would be a good idea if you are going to stay or not. Your marriage is not only you and your spouse the moment you have kids. If you have exhausted all your options such as marriage counseling and nothing has changed then leave. A lot of marriages just need some communication. However if you are in an abusive relationship get out now.

Answer 3

I would say that if your in a miserable marriage that you shouldn't pretend for the children. I'm a big believer of "everything happens for a reason" and although I don't like the idea of divorce it just doesn't make sense to live miserably. As long as you have an amicable relationship with your partner and you share custody of the kids then there should be no problem. Just because your divorced doesn't mean that family outings have to stop. It takes effort from both sides of the marriage to ensure happiness in your children's lives. Get divorced and focus on your children.

Answer 4

I think that it really depends on the situation.

If you're miserable because the feeling's gone, so to speak, maybe you can go to therapy, sit down and talk to your husband about the state of your relationship and let him know that you want to work it out and are willing to make an effort if he is willing to meet you half-way.

If you're miserable because he's cheating on you or is abusive or you've exhausted all options re saving the marriage, it would probably be better for your children for you to leave. You can't be your best you if you're not happy and, ideally, children will be raised in a nuclear family but if you stay in a marriage that is causing you misery, your husband misery and breathing negativity through the house, that's not good for the emotional health of the children and may serve to turn them off of marriage in the future.

Answer 5

Never stay in a miserable marriage for the sake of the children. Better a one parent, peaceful upbringing than a two parent,possibly abusive marriage. And when you are not happy, that's how it can turn. Plan before you leave, if you have time, but LEAVE!

Answer 6

First gut response no.
Second response-maybe-Divorce has made poor people out of more women than any other one thing can! Do you alone have the income to take care of yourself and your children= alone-Don't say but! He won't! just assume that he won't and answer the question. If the answer is yes-then I still say NO!
If the answer is no then think hard and long until you can support your own side of the family stay put! the only people who benefit from divorce are the atty's. Stay in the marraige and find a way to go back to school and get the education that let's you take care of YOUR children then let him go. When my mother said honey I have to tell you something, your Dad and I are getting a divorce. I was 22 and had my own child already-I told her in these words (TO MY MOTHER) It's about da** time!

Answer 7

Well, if there is abuse and bad parenting or role modelling on your parts, then it would be best to split off for the sake of your children. After all, having an alcoholic abusive father is worse than none at all.
However, when people get married they vow to stay together for life, and I would suggest trying to resolve issues to your best ability before even considering divorce. You could try setting up an appointment for marriage counseling, or asking an older couple that you respect how they've stuck together for all these years.

Answer 8

This is a tricky situation as divorce is not pleasant for children to go through. But at the end of the day when they get older they are going to realise that you are not happy in the marriage and may feel it is there fault. I think divorce might be a good idea and then remain friends with your ex so the kids can see that you are still happy even without daddy and mummy being together.

Answer 9

Well, I come from a culture that doesn't respect divorce or divorced people, so I'm staying for the children. Miserable doesn't always mean yelling and fighting, it might me that you lost interest or there wasn't enough love to keep it going. One day- after you finished all your parenthood duties- you might be able to get out of it, but in my case, it's better to stay with the children and find a way to keep your life going till the right moment comes.

Answer 10

Ask yourself this, can you imagine for a minute your children being shuttled back and forth from one home to the other? Can you see your kids waking up at the other home and seeing her dad or mom in bed with someone other then yourself? And just vision for a minute the sight of your kids in the near future addicted to drugs or alcohol, its not pretty but these are the statistics of what happens to children from broken familys, oh, and theres much more that effects these kids, but I think ya get the idea, so I,ll end this with letting you know that my mom stayed in a awful marriage, she was so un-happy, but she stayed in the marriage till me and my brothers were old enough and mature enough to handle a divorce, she also made sure we not only graduated from high school but that we all went to college, now if she would have broke the family up I know we wouldnt be the great people we are today, and we owe it all to our mom, who sacraficed her own needs so that her kids could be in a intact family, not a unstable disfunctional one. Maybe one day your kids can look at you and say, thanks mom for putting our needs and security ahead of your own happiness. So my answer is simple but not one that you may like, stay in the marriage for the sake of your kids! You wont regreat it!

Answer 11

If its a miserable marriage then I feel staying is worst on the children than leaving. No matter how much you try to hide it from them, children can tell when you're unhappy. If you want to make your marriage work, then try to seek some counseling so that you and your spouse can learn how to deal with your emotions and issues as to not upset your chlldren.