Were you happy before you were married? I ask because I've read more than once that you should never expect your spouse to suddenly make you happy after marriage...
So to happy couple.. Do you think your state of mind before marriage had alot to do with things working out so well years later?
2007-10-21 10:43:30 · 11 answers · asked by Undead 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were both individually happy b4 marriage. I think a person is largely responsible for their own happiness. No one else can "make" you happy. You can be happy with that person, but that person doesn't "make" you happy. The main ingredient in our long marriage (41 yrs) is that we were friends all thru college, then ran into each other 3 yrs later and became best friends, then fell in love. We are still best friends. Just read some of the questions and answers in this section and you see people doing things to their spouses that they would NEVER do to their best friends.
2007-10-21 11:01:31 · answer #1 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh this is a great question. I think without a doubt, you have to be a happy person before you get married to be a happy couple. My husband and I have a pretty happy marriage, and I think that as individuals we are optimists. So, when bad things happen, we tend not to blame the other. Also, when two people get married and pinning their hopes that the other one will change, that is a recipe for disaster. Women mostly make that common mistake, in thinking things will be different. Once you obtain a happy personality, then you carry that into the marriage, and make each other happy.
2007-10-21 10:55:48 · answer #2 · answered by Katlynnelore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm engaged.
But, I'll answer this question for my parents who have been married for 21 years.
My mother was never a happy person before marriage or in her life. She got pregnant at a young age, was broke, living on her own at seventeen and didn't have much of an education.
My father brightened up her days for the most part, but she still was a miserable being.
When they got married, she became a bit happier then she was because she had someone who loved her and cared for her that also supported her.
Things since then have been crazy, rocky, on edge.. but they've gotten through it and are still married, twenty one years later, and are happy.
2007-10-21 10:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you could say I was happy before marriage. But for me my husband did help to make me happier. It also depends on what you think a marriage is or should be. My parents have been married for 32 years, and still going. They went through hard times but always found their way through. My husbands parents weren't so lucky, they divorced. I learned from my parents that I didn't want all the yelling and arguing, I didn't want my kids to hear all the troubles that were going on. I think my husband learned from his parents what he didn't want in a marriage.
We were best friends. We talked to each other, we respected each other, we trusted each other. We would argue and disagree sometimes but we never stayed mad at each other and would talk it out in the end. We never went to bed mad at each other. We stood by our decisions, and beliefs. Together we worked it all out. Compromise is a great thing in marriage, and communication.
So yes I was happy before marriage, but after it was so much better.
2007-10-21 14:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by bkdrm41897 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i was very happy when i got married. I was going to college and enjoyed that very much. Got married and continued going to school, Of course the first few years of being married were a little rough but now 7 years later we are happier than ever!! I think if you are a positive person you will make the best out of life and what it has to offer
2007-10-21 12:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can give you happiness -- not your spouse, your best friend, your mom or your child. Happiness is something that a person carries within themselves, and frankly, it's usually an active decision -- either "I will be happy" or "I am going to make myself miserable."
I think a happy marriage comes from two people who love and respect each other and make a commitment to make a life together. You can't expect another person to make you happy. You bring your own happiness -- or unhappiness -- to the relationship, and share it with your partner.
2007-10-21 11:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was happy and ok before, but it never felt as good as being in a happy marriage. We have our ups and downs, our fights and silent treatments, but we love each other, and at the end of the day that's what counts the most.
2007-10-21 10:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by writeaway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely. the main reasons for this being that before we were married we built a solid foundation based upon mutual trust and respect for each other, and we built a solid friendship before we were ever lovers. We never argue or fight, still to this day. People who possess genuine love for each other put that level of respect first, always. One should never treat someone they claim to love deeply in a manner that is void of respect, and violates the sanctity of emotional trust. It is, after all, our hearts that we trust the other with first.
2007-10-21 11:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by Shinji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can make you happy but you. You have to be happy first and not expect your spouse to be a miracle worker
2007-10-21 10:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have always been a positive thinking person, before and after marriage. If you are bitter and unhappy before marriage, that won't change.
2007-10-21 10:49:42 · answer #10 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋