Two weeks ago, my dad was extremely busy making dinner and I was helping him in the kitchen and he wanted my mum and older sister to be home by 6:30 pm so we could all sit down and have a family dinner and then at 7 pm he would leave cause he has an business appointment. He wanted them home at 6:30 on the dot.
My mum called home 10 minutes before 6:30 and said they were leaving the office now, and he got really mad cause then he wouldn't have to waste his time waiting for them to come home and wouldn't have had to make dinner so early (he could've been doing other things). When they came home, he started screaming at her saying how come you only called 10 minutes before 6:30, why didn't you call earlier? and other stuff. She started screaming back at him and threw a spoon at him and then he blew up and said he wasn't eating dinner with us and stormed out of the house.
He spent three nights sleeping in the living room and said he wouldn't forgive her unless she apologized to him
2007-10-21 10:37:47 · 9 answers · asked by Duchess of Cookieshire 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in front of the whole family. She tried to apologize to him in person but he brushed her off and said he'd only accept the apology in front of the whole family.
He told my older sister he wanted our mum to do this to make an example of her, that when you do something wrong (my mum's wrong was coming home late and not apologizing immediately) you have to say sorry immediately. My older sister and I know that the only reason he wants our mum to say sorry in front of the whole family is to humiliate her.
The whole thing is so stupid. They've not spoken to each other in over two weeks, my mum is so depressed cause my dad ignores her. She tried to make things right in her own way. Now she cries all the time because she told me that all he can think of is that she did something wrong and he can't even remember the good times they had and he's upset over this small matter.
I'm so tired of this. I'm sad because she cries all the time. My mum tries to reach out to my dad, but he
2007-10-21 10:41:25 · update #1
just ignores her (he's insistent that she apologize to him in front of the whole family and then everything will be back to normal).
I know that even if she says sorry to him in front of the whole family, things will not be normal anymore.
I'm so frustrated, I feel they're going to get divorced. Both of them are so prideful...pride is going to cost them their marriage.
My mum is announcing she wants to separate from my dad tonight and I feel that isn't necessary and I don't know what to do. I feel that once you're separated you get divorced later on, and I'm frustrated cause isn't this supposed to happen when you're a child?
Why is this happening now? I'm 18, my older sister is 22, and my younger sister and brother are 16 and 15.
I understand my parents (both of their sides) and I'm not on anyone's side though I feel for my mum. I feel so helpless. I don't want my family to fall apart.
Isn't it stupid and silly? Why are grownups so silly?
2007-10-21 10:44:41 · update #2
I think it's wrong to say it's just my parents' business. It's not. I cry about it and so do my siblings. When it affects the whole family, I believe it's not just my parents' business, we should have an input on it as well.
I want to help. It's frustrating. It's so unfair.
2007-10-21 10:49:59 · update #3
This isn't about you nor is it aimed at you. It's between them. It sounds like they have some very serious issues to work out, if they CAN work them out.
Some people can and some people cannot.
If it comes to separation and divorce, you will experience confusion and fear quite naturally.
It'll be up to the adults in your life to remind you daily that you are still beloved and you will always be cared for!
If necessary speak with a grandmother or grandfather for some advice too.
Communications is the key - in spite of your fears, work to keep communications open between you and your mom, between you and your dad.
Because there is life after separation and divorce and life does go on.
2007-10-21 10:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents sound alot like mine. There's always going to be family problems with someone, just don't let it break you. You can't control how anyone acts, your dad, your mom, anyone. Do your best to stick through it, are they already getting separated? I would say therepy would help alot, you could go in there as a family or just as the parents, it does alot of help 80% of the time, you hear people out better, that's why fighting never helps or fixes things, once things are thrown and broken, they still don't feel any better.
You're the kid, so you can't do much. Tell them how it makes you feel, how it hurts you and worries you, and you think they could still make it if they try, the whole thing is silly. They sound like they have some trust issues, they're the only that need to break through them, you can't do much for them though. Stick it out, it will get better.
2007-10-21 17:42:32 · answer #2 · answered by Blue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I'm sorry that your going through something like this. However, I'm under the impression that there are other problems that they may be having that you are unaware of. What you should do is let them do what they have to do to get through this. Clearly, your father has some control issues and your mother is suffering because of them. Unfortunately, this is causing problems for your whole family. What you need to understand is that they are probably going through other things and it's influencing their actions about little things. Time will tell you what's really going on. Until then, just be patient and pray for them.
2007-10-21 18:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by Vee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww sweetheart, has anyone actually said they are leaving??
Most parents argue and sometimes stresses of life can make those arguments blow up totally out of proportion.
Just give them both a little time and I'm sure they will resolve their differences.
I expect Dad is cross with Mum and is making her suffer a little and to make her feel guilty by sleeping on the sofa.....they'll get over it.
You carry on with your life, don't get caught up in their drama!!
2007-10-21 17:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
with no offence meant it is a married thing sometimes people have disagreements that just get blown up out of proportion. it is their row not yours. they both still love you and although at the moment things are uncomfortable maybe they just need to grow up and talk it out. dont let it affect you. the apology thing will either happen or not and if not its not your worry. leave it to the grown ups to settle their differences and just get on with you r life as normally as you can. major importance is that you dont get dragged in or take sides.
2007-10-21 17:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by charlie f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad seems to be looking for any reason to be mad at your mom, and you are right it is for a silly reason. They would probably be better off not together...I know that's not what you want to hear but it's true.
2007-10-21 17:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by mamapoulette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is something else going on other than just this one incident. Suggest family counseling to them.
2007-10-21 17:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by Delta D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your PARENT'S business, NOT YOURS.
Stay out of it. If he wants to sleep on the couch, that's his choice.
2007-10-21 17:41:27 · answer #8 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
The parents should never and I mean never fight in front of the kids, they should know better. I'm sorry you had to see this, tell your parents stop acting like kids and kiss and make up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-21 17:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋