if you and your husband got..?

Question

divorced or you and your wife got divorced and found another mate, would you tell your children? Why or why not?

i was wondering cus i think my mom has a boyfriend but she hasnt told me.??? im wondering..

Answer 1

Hard to hide that one from the kids. Just be honest with them.

Answer 2

If I were divorced, and some time down the road became interested in someone, I would tell my child about my new friend, since he would notice the evenings I'm out with him. But I would not introduce him to my son until I had given him enough time to get used to the idea of seeing mom with a guy who's not daddy, and only if I felt the new boyfriend was going to be, and wanted to be, a part of our lives inside the home as well as outside of it.

Answer 3

In most cases a parent may keep a new relationship from their children to ensure that the relationship is going to last. The last thing kids need after a divorce is more broken relationships, so in a sense your mom is probably trying to protect you until she knows where the relationship is headed.

Answer 4

mate as in a person you intend to spend your time with, live with and perhaps marry? Of course you would tell your children, but I would wait until you were fairly confident the relationship was going to last a while. Kids don't need to meet every person their divorced parent dates. Just someone who is special and you expect to be a part of your life for some time to come.

Answer 5

I would have to make sure the new mate was someone I was comfortable having my children around first. If not they would be gone. If they were I would introduce the children first by doing something together, like the zoo and slowly start bring the mate into our lives more and more.

Answer 6

Yes. They would find out anyways and it is better to be honest with your kids about these things so that they aren't put into uncomfotable situations. If the spouse that didn't find a mate yet is jealous, it hurts the kids. Even if that personj is hurting, dont let the kids know. They pick up on things really quick. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE WELFARE OF THE CHILD- NOT HOW THE PARENTS FEEL!

Answer 7

You are probably right. Maybe your mother doesnt want to tell you because she is unsure whether the relationship will work out. Before she introduces her new man to you, she wants to know that his is not just going to flit out of your lives. Maybe your mother wants to tell you but she may think you will be hurt because of the divorce. Why not ask her? Now is the time you could have a really honest relationship with your mother. The divorce couldnt have been easy for you, so maybe she is trying to protect your feelings.

Answer 8

Eventually, they have to. And eventually the children will find out, so yes, they do have to tell the children, it is better for the children to know by the parents, then by having the children scared for life if they found out on their own, don't you think?

Answer 9

I would tell my children, however, I wouldn't tell them until I was sure this relationship was going to be a more permanent relationship and not just a dating relationship. I think showing my children what a healthy relationship is like instead of a disfunctional relationship like I had with my spouse would be very important.

Answer 10

My mom did. She was getting a divorce from my ex step-father and told me immediately she found someone else.

That man is now my new step-father and I love him to bits.

Do what you think is right but I'm in favor of keeping your kids in the loop, especially during a divorce!

Answer 11

Yes of course. They learn from everything and if all adults can get along and be civil to the children they won't see it as such a big deal as we adults do. Kids don't know what committment is about but they understand hatred.