It's a gorgeous fall day. When woke up this morning I asked him what he wanted to do. He said clean his car, mow the lawn, laundry. I said I wanted to go to the park n asked him if he wanted to go. He said no. ( I actually expected this answer because anytime I want to do something, he's busy. But if his FRIENDS wantto do something - he has all the time in the world. This is whatis really bothering me because it's a pattern and been like this for a long time. This is why I haven't made wedding plans yet.) Anyhow, I went for a walk and decided it was gorgeous out and wanted to go for a bike ride, came home, and his friend asked him to go mountian bike riding and he said yes to them! I was furious. I called him and asked him if he would meet me at the park at3:30. Well 3:30 came around he called n said his OLD FRIEND is in town and blocking his car. I said "whos more import? Tell him to move his car"N he hung up on me. Should he ditch me for friend or kept plans with me?
2007-10-21 08:56:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was wrong, and it sounds like he is a repeat offender so the question really is whether you should even be considering marriage to somebody who does not put your needs first?
2007-10-21 09:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still there? as long as you're taking the way he is treating you why in the world would he change? He knows you will be there at the end of the day no matter what. He knows he can blow you off and still come home to you like nothing happened you would be a fool to marry this man, he obviously thinks of you as the live in third wheel get some self respect and stop letting him walk all over you like a wet mat!
with you asking this question, you arlready know what the answer is. tell him you are fed up with the way he is treating you and something needs to change or you're out! he sounds like he would rather get bitten by a poisonous snake then to do anything with you, what does that tell you?
2007-10-21 09:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by dollbabyii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically he didn't make a plan with you. He said no to the park and bike ride. did he say yes to 330p? If not he would have to make a plan to break a plan. Anyway, if you think your man is cheating you on hanging out it's because he knows marriage is right around the corner. It's in the head to think all your fun time is over afterward when it isn't true. he'll learn that. For now he's trying to fit in all the single things he did from now until the wedding date. I went through the same thing, and now i realized I can still have my life .. just I'm married. He'll come around.
2007-10-21 09:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by Striker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you may have a few issues and you are not married yet. So here is my advise, anytime the person who loves you makes you feel less than even if it is in your own eyes. You have a problem. You have to ask yourself what you are willing to lose in this relationship. What are you willing to accept because if you dont do it now you will live your life regretting and being bitter. In his eyes right now you are allowing him to chose his friends over you and if that is not okay with you then you need to tell him straight up. It is not about him having time with his friends, it is about the value he places on you and his friends. You basically asked him to do the same activity as he went and did with his friends and he chose them and that is what angered you and rightly so. You have the power to change that. Tell him upfront that you do not like the way he is treating you and until those things change then there will be no wedding. I guarantee you after the wedding it will only get worse. You need to set ground rules now or move on believe me dont settle just because. There is no question you love him you have expressed wanting to spend time with him. But you are not getting that same kind of love back, so really it comes down to what you are willing to live with but once you have done so you have to accept the consequences so really truly sit down and see if you are willing to compromise yourself for the rest of your life.
2007-10-21 09:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ditch him. He has shown you that he is inconsiderate and never wants to do things with you but will with his friends, so he apparently is just there for you for the bed and whatever. You need to either move out or throw him out and that will either wake him up and make him more concerned with your feelings or you will know that this is not someone you need to be involved with. A marriage between the two of you will never work unless you want to take second place in his life and there is too many people who would be more considerate once you loose this baggage. you can try counseling but I suspect he will be too busy with his friends for that from what you have said.
2007-10-21 09:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the rest of your life. But, you know there are times when he just wants to go hang out with the boys. Sometimes it's just the fact that it popped up and he said yes. That feels good to a man, to just be able to go and do. As long as he's not up to no good, let him go do. Let him have a little fun without you, I'm sure he's done this before and you haven't said anything. If really bothers you have a talk with him but make it a talk not a yell Good Luck
2007-10-21 09:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that your fiance wants to spend time with his buddies. But if he made plans with you, then he should keep them. I think something is going on with him, maybe it's pre-marriage jitters or something. You two need to have a talk about whats going on and where the relationship is heading. Because it's like he's avoiding you and the relationship is going to go downhill fast and you two aren't even married yet. So have a talk with him..tell him what's on your mind and hopefully, he'll share his feelings as well.
2007-10-21 09:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by **Mystica** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GRRRRRRRRR...i would be effective on account that he's your fiance, yet permit me be honest and provide you with a warning no longer something WILL replace merely because of the fact there's a marriage RING on your FINGER! He could shop commitments in spite of who they're given too (this is form one!) and form 2 (this is much greater important!) He could make you the precedence in his existence! He asked you to be the single female he needs to spend the the remainder of his existence with. the girl who he will honor and defend and furnish for, yet he's no longer exhibiting that to you! you're able to desire to have a intense verbal replace (no longer argument) with him approximately your desires and emotions, yet additionally his desires and emotions. some thing isn't being communicated and it somewhat is making existence problematic for the two one among you. Open up those communique lines and choose what's unquestionably happening, with the two one among you! good success
2016-10-04 07:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What plans? He never had plans with you. If it is a pattern, then why are you still with him? Obviously he has no interest in being with you and probably waiting for the next best thing. I hate to put it so rudely, but I've seen this scenario before.
2007-10-21 09:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him,it will only get worse but before you break up with him the next time he wants sex tell him you would love to but an old friend is in town and he is blocking my Pu*** !
2007-10-21 09:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by notagain49 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋