When I am honest from the heart, say the things I believe and feel, some people call it rudeness. I understand tact and use it when ever I can but, there are certain subjects that anger me sooo very much I cant temper my words. What do yall think? Do you apprecieate blatant honesty?
2007-10-21 07:10:40 · 14 answers · asked by sandra b 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Taber, I know you are Artistic hand, and yes my teefs r real! Strange that you would care.
2007-10-21 09:19:42 · update #1
I think your question has been successfully answered by many above.
I'm more interested in what your question says about you.
Though you may tend to be forthright and shoot from the hip with you questions and responses, that you ask the question tells me you have a sensitive side also. Meaning that you have probably fielded some criticism because of your approach.
You ask the question at this point (the swing between manic and depressive (?) ((-:) because you're feeling a little sensitive about some reactions you've had (?)
Have you found that your honesty or forthrightness has made life better for someone or for yourself? If you cultivated a negative response because of your approach, did they actually hear what you were saying?
Is your choice of approach out of true honesty or because of some underlying state of mind unrelated to the issue at hand?
2007-10-22 09:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by birdman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not so much a difference between honesty and rudeness.
It's a difference between presenting the truth with love (or tact) and presenting the truth without love (or tact).
You have to decide if what you are saying is mere opinion or life-changing fact.
Also, consider whom you are talking to and the purpose for what you are saying.
Are you just wanting to rant or vent?
Are you trying to effect some sort of change in the behavior of the listeners?
Are your words going to act like building blocks and work towards building something positive?
Or are your words just meant to explode onto the scene and tear down everything in sight?
Decide why you feel you have to say what you want to say and consider whom the hearers will be... that will help you determine whether you are being rude or not.
It's an old lesson: Think, before you say.
2007-10-21 07:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Respect or lack thereof.
If you respectfully tell someone an unpleasant truth, it's not rude. If the truth is surrounded in blame, then respect has left the building.
John Gottman ("The 7 Principles for making marriage work") describes the 'harsh startup' - beginning a discussion with an accusatory tone / vocab, etc.
Rather than "you (always / never ) do / don't do ....", try "This happened... and now I feel ..." Avoid the word 'you'. If they acknowledge your feelings, great! If not, at least you've laid your cards on the table respectfully... then leave the issue alone.
You can temper your words, with practise, willpower, and if necessary, a little divine intervention.
2007-10-21 07:29:28 · answer #3 · answered by David F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Blatant honesty isn't always appropriate. If you tell somebody something that's embarrassing, humiliating, or hurtful to them, it can be cruel, even if true.
Sometimes it's also wiser to not be so honest when you know what you say is just going to start a fight or get people angry, and what you have to say just isn't worth it, even if it's true. A lot of family members of mine and I do not agree at all on the subject of politics. But, I often hold my tongue even when I know the honest truth, because it's just not worth challenging certain ideas of theirs which I know they will never change.
2007-10-21 07:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by Underground Man 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Dearest Sandra,
Two people involved here, you , being honest and straight from heart. This is wonderful. And some people who might take it as rudeness ... I feel those who already have a version of truth in their mind, and urs not matching with it, will take honesty as rudeness, coz it hurts them. A perfectly aware soul wont take honesty as rudeness, ever.
so only honesty is in ur hand, how people may perceive it, is always upto them. Try any way of putting it/any words/any gestures, if someone wants to perceive it as rude, he will.
2007-10-21 19:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by Neo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you're honest with someone, many times you're telling someone you care about something they probably don't want to hear and you don't want to say, but it needs to come out. Like telling a friend that they have bad b.o. Being rude is telling people things for the pure enjoyment of hurting their feelings, whether they're true or not. Rude people are a waste of the precious air we breathe. I cannot abide rude people. My town if full of rude people. They're like the zombies in Night of the Living Dead.
2007-10-21 08:07:09 · answer #6 · answered by ndn_ronhoward 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Honesty hurts some people...and then they classify it as rude. I know...because I can be very (bluntly) honest...especially when people ask for my opinions. I try to deliver my honest opinions or thoughts as gently as possible as I've known many sensitive people. I keep my opinions to myself if I know I can hurt someone and if the truth will not benefit neither one of us. And yes, I do appreciate honesty when I ask for an opinion or a thought. Are you a Sagittarian, by any chance???
2007-10-21 07:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'd say, honesty blended nicely with unconditional love would be sweet, as acting from love there are no wrong actions. No harmful intent is the goal, yes? Payback? Revenge? That's what anger does, keeps the guilt cycle going strong. How does that serve us? Of Course I will say, consult your Course and I will also say (a line from Angel's Revenge, how freakin appropriate) "Shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine yer love, shine yer love, "Shine,shine, shine, shine, shine little star"
Crenshaw sends his honest, greasy words of lub....
sista ma man sista.....
2007-10-21 07:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by Valerie C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is value and Rudeness is a behaviour of a person. Both are quite different and How can you compare. That is all, yours,
vivaria
2007-10-21 07:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by Raghavendra R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sandy, The way I see it is if they are your friends and they know you fairly well this should not be an issue. If your talking about people who dont know you then dont worry yourself with it. You know me from 360 and you know I can be flirty. If you dont like that you know that if you tell me to stop I will. I would much prefer to get problems out and settled then to tap dance around them.
2007-10-21 07:28:41 · answer #10 · answered by bradley l 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋