What to do when husband lies?

Question

My husband watches porn all the time, even at work. He and some of his coworker have purchased a laptop that they watch porn on...he belongs to several meet single website.....and has even called some of the people he has met.... I hate him for lying to me. I really get upset with the porn because we have 4 children -3 girls and 1 boy. I am afraid to leave the children along with him. I have told him how it makes me feel but his response to me is "it's what I do and I like it."
We have been married 16 years. I don't think I can go another 16...............He lies about where he goes, the website, even when he has been confronted with the truth. I hired a private investigator and he lied about pictures of himself and his special friend.

Answer 1

A relationship is gone when trust is gone, he have totally no respect for you. Watching porn is fine but to indulge into is something seriously wrong...since you say you dont have another 16 yrs, you should seriously make the discision immediately, thats to leave him with your kids right away.. my mother in law left her husband with her 4 daughter when she found out he cheated on her, she was 26 and her eldest daughter was only 8. Life was hard but with her determination and hard work, she pulled it through, now she is enjoying life cos all her daughters are successful in life, and fillial towards her...remember, nothing is impossible, its just yourselves...

Answer 2

The question is, why are you still with this man?
Pornography isn't even his biggest problem! He's a liar and a cheater amongst other things. Porn addiciton is only one of his problems.
He's not being faithful to you or his children. He's allowed his sexual inhibitions to get in the way of his family.
He doesn't deserve you or his children for that matter.
I honestly think that you should mention seeing family counseling. If he refuses, it's time for a divorce.
I feel sorry for you that you've stuck around for sixteen years with this ungrateful sorry excuse of a husband.
If you can't trust him especially with the children, what kind of father is that?
I think it just may be time to let go. Save yourself for the future. You don't deserve another sixteen years of his crap, honestly.

Answer 3

Now is the time for a divorce you don't want the boy, or the girls either for that matter, to think that this is acceptable behavior, and judging by the answer he gave you "it's what I do and I like it" he doesn't love you so file for the divorce, get the house and throw him out, and then find someone who loves you and who you can love in return.

Answer 4

Hon i wouldnt want to be with this lying and definately cheating hubby for another 16 days let alone 16 years,,,,get out with your kids,,,go and start a new lie free life,,it may seem hard at first but what would you rather have,,,n its no place for kids,what if they see this,,,,oh hon time too move on,,good luck to you xxx

Answer 5

Well, it is obvious from your question that your husband has zero respect for you. When you tell him that what he is doing bothers you and his reply is "it's what I do and I like it", then he is demonstrating that he really could care less if his actions are disrespectful toward you, the woman who is supposed to be his ONLY sexual outlet and his partner in life. I would suggest marriage counseling if you think you want to stay with him, but if not, it's far better to be a single parent trying to provide for your children on your own and giving them a loving and nurturing homelife, than to be married to a man who blatantly and selfishly demonstrates to your children that you do not matter and his wants come first. That only sets the example to your kids that it is okay to disrespect their mother and that it's okay to do what you want even if it upsets others. Don't forget that the fact that he does this activity with your children in the home. One day your kids may discover this activity on the computer or worse yet, catch their father doing it. What is that going to do to your kids?

If you were to leave your husband, there are resources out there to help you. If you have family or friends you and the kids could stay with until you can get your own place, that would be a good idea. If you have a job, then that's good, but if you don't have one, Social Services for your area can help you out on a temporary basis as long as you are showing you are looking for work. A judge would likely grant you custody of your kids due to the pornography usage by your husband. Courts tend to frown on that sort of thing because of the risk it can pose to children in a variety of ways. Your husband would be obligated to pay child support, even before a divorce is final, if you are separated from him. You could go to your county courthouse and speak to someone in the Family Law division. These people can give you a list of resources you can contact or names of attorneys who can help you on a sliding fee scale or for free. I know it is a daunting task to leave your husband and I'm certainly not encouraging you to do so. Still, having been in a marriage for 20 years myself where my husband was very selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful to me (and a host of other things, but I won't get into that), I can say that it does not get better - it only gets worse. For a time in my own marriage, my children were blatantly disrespectful to me because they saw how their father treated me and figured if it's okay with Dad, it's okay with them. I've been divorced from my ex-husband for 2 years now and am now re-married to a wonderful man. I have full custody of both kids (one is now an adult, so custody no longer applies) and my kids are much happier than they were when I was married to their father. They are both far more respectful to me now and they understand how important it is to treat those you love with respect and consideration. While I'm not encouraging you to leave your husband, all I'm saying is that if you should decide to do it, there are resources out there to help you and while it may seem like a frightening and daunting choice to make, many women have done it and have come out stronger and happier for it. It's scary at first, but coming from someone who has been there, done that, I can tell you that it can be done and you can be happy. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family if you can and it will be all the easier.

Answer 6

he cheating on you, he couldn't even confess about the pictures after he was caught red handed you should just leave him. take the kids and just go, that money you wasted on a private investigator you could haveused that to get your own apartment to get away from him.

Answer 7

A marriage is more than a piece of paper.

It's a commitment between two people to share your lives, love and respect each other.

You don't have a marriage. Fire the P.I. and get some counseling to help you get your life and your children's lives in order.

Answer 8

If he is not willing to compromise with you, you need to separate. This is a serious matter.. you don't even feel comfortable leaving your kids alone with him! And he's probably cheating too. Sorry, but unless he'll change his ways, it's time to move on, and take your kids with you!!

Answer 9

Why are you still there? Protect yourself and your children! This is only the tip of the iceberg with a man who does this!!!

You might also let his boss know what he does on company time........

Answer 10

He's cheating. You alredy know this & you already know what you should do.
Leave with your children & your pride. Or better yet, have him thrown out by the police.