My ex husbands girlfriend has been asked several times to stay in the car during drop off and pick up of my children. She and I had several falling outs and I really do not want her near me. I have emailed my ex regarding this and it is still an issue. She INSISTS on getting out of the car to get bags out of the back or to say goodbye to my children while at my house and has to come out of her house and get in my face when I have to go to his house. Is there anything that I can do to keep her from getting in my face? Is this a form or harrassment? Please help!! I really am at a loss here and need to know what my rights are.
2007-10-21 06:29:41 · 18 answers · asked by Beth B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for you help so far. I have been divorced for 3 years now and she came into the picture about 2 years ago. My ex and I are civil but have issues. He is was very hurt by the divorce. She is very nice to my kids and yes, I am greatful for that but, she is VERY strange and that worries me. I was always nice to her and then she started to get a little too involved in my ex's and my decisions. This summer she told me off on the phone and since then, I have NO reason to talk to her or be near her. I tried to make nice and she didn't bite SO now I want her away from me. This is why I need advice. I don't feel that shes needs to get out of the car especailly knowing I asked her not to. I stay in the house when my boyfriends ex is around. There is no need for me to be out there in her face. I get it! FYII, I just got back from my sons bday party and my ex came to pick up my daughter for a soccer game and she actually came into the restaurant with him to get her- its very PSYCHO!!!!
2007-10-21 10:14:02 · update #1
It sounds to me like your ex-husband's new girlfriend has insecurity issues and you're the target because she is comparing herself to you. It's the fifth grade 'na-na-na-na-na, I got your boy friend', deal. If he can't control her (I hate to word it like that, but ...) then maybe he shouldn't bring her to your house to pick up and/or drop off the kids, and he needs to learn to control her when you are dropping the kids off at his or her house to him. It sounds to me like he's not making any effort to make her stop this absurd, childish behavior because he likes the attention too. Like he's sitting back saying 'look at those two chicks fighting over me', even if that isn't the case at all, he's getting an ego-boost from it.
If this can't be resolved through civil communication with him, and by that I mean your ex-husband can't get his new girlfriend to understand that the parenting of his children are between their parents and she isn't one of them, then you could see if you have legal grounds to temporarily halt his visitations. I mean who's to say she isn't belligerent with your children (she probably isn't) if she behaves like that every time you drop the kids off to him. I mean, maybe she's not mentally stable enough to be around your children (I'm sure she is, she is just acting very, very immature).
It sounds a little like harassment to me, but every state has there own laws around these matters and specifically around custody and visitations, etc. I would look into it, it is possible that you could make it so that she can not be there during drop off and pick up times or when the children visit.
Good Luck
2007-10-21 06:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Tears 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to contact your lawyer or court official that handled the custody case if there is one. If there was not one and this is an arrangement that the 2 of you have come to terms with then maybe it's time that you did speak to a lawyer. I do see this as a form of harassment. She knows that this behavior bothers you and that is why she does it. The restraining order is fine for when she will be comming to your home. She will not be allowed within 100 feet of you or your home. The problem is that you will in turn not be able to have contact with her either. This will make taking the kids to your ex's house difficult when she is there. I would first talk to your husband about it and let him know that if he keeps bringing her along and she keeps getting out of the vehicle that you will take it to the next level. I'd ask him just not to bring her along and that would cure all of the issues. GOOD LUCK I know this is a tough situation for you.
2007-10-21 07:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by ~Sara~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing I don't understand, if you can't afford to buy dog food how can you be buying a house? It sounds like you don't feed the dog unless he drops food off. If you owned the dog together for some years it really is both your dog. But I understnad not everyone is a dog person. Do the poor dog a favor and give it to shelter. My ex took our dog when we got divorced, then dumped her to me at my son's soccer game saying. I don't want the dog anymore if you don't give her to the pound. He found out how much work it is to clean up dog poo finally. I was so happy to have our wonderful dog she got me through our divorce. So if you are not a dog person don't make the poor dog suffer. Just saying. As for your ex mine is a creepy as they come. He refuses to do family wizard which was court ordered, blocks my phone and email whenever he feels like it. I have taken the high road and never blocked his phone or email. I only respond about our son no other conversation. He did find out I finally bought a house and he immediately started threats to reduce my child support. So the other person who said don't let him know you bought a home is correct. Unfortunatley I have a grown step daughter who told him. It's fuled his fire once again. The less bad ex husband's know the better is what I've learned. Hang in there I have been walking in your shoes for years my son is 15 now and I can't wait for the day when I no longer need to be involved with my ex. Hopefully some day he will be civil at my son's wedding but I doubt it. He calls me a car wash C all the time. He sends me emails that just say CWC! Lovely
2016-05-24 00:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My god hon no wonder you feel like this,,,yes there are ways you can stop her,,try talking civil about it too your ex if that does not work,,you can go to the courts and get an order instructing her to stay away from your property,i agree she is doing this too manipulate you and yes indeed it is a form off harrasment,but go along with the easy approach and talk with your ex,or tell him it will be a court order next as you dont want the hassle,,hopefully he will agree to this,you have more rights over her,its your property after all,,,maybe not mean it but threaten your ex about not seeing the kids till she stops doing this,,but on the other hand is that fair on the kids,but tlk too him if that dont work go to the courts,,,,good luck xxx
2007-10-21 06:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your ex's girlfriend just asked a question. just the opposite of yours. hmmm i just answered it, anyway... if you feel threatened you can get a restraining order. if not she has a right to be with him..and as long as she does not enter the house.. or start a prowl..there is little you can do about it. you can count your blessings if she and kids genuinely get along. that is a plus..for the sanity of kids. and as a good mom you should want that..even though you dislike her. and i would not discuss or cut her down to the kids. that is unfair to them. the ex probably brings her on purpose. she is just his girlfriend not his new wife. new wife would definately have right to be there. if she behaves. why dont you folks get a third party to deliver kids. g-ma.. aunt..sister or someone..dependable and neutral. when u says gets in your face..do you mean.. where you have to see her or in your face..with mouth and attitude.? there is a difference. mouth and attitude..restraining order. just seeing her.. nothing u can do. i bet ex hubby loves this.. or dreads it.. which?
2007-10-21 06:45:08 · answer #5 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no rights greater than hers. Sure you can act immature and refuse to talk with her, but, it is obvious that she has taken an interest in being accepted in the whole family and refuses to let you short circuit this noble attribute! Sure it hurts to acknowledge that your husband has so quickly found a replacement, but, maybe he wasn't the cause of the problem. I am stepping out on a limb here but, maybe, just maybe, it would be better for the children to see a united front in this dysfunctional relationship. Instead of creating a gap between families they LOVE!
2007-10-21 06:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is harrasment.
I'd suggest taking it to court and filing a restraining order against her so that she can't go near you.
You're complying with the rules and dropping off your children and politely asking her not to get out of the car and be around you because of falling out that you've had with her.
Out of respect, she should listen, but she choose not to.
A legal document that disables her from being able to be a certain amount of distance near you would stop this immediately.
2007-10-21 06:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's just being really immature about the whole thing. She wants to start stuff with you for whatever reason. Sounds like she's trying to get you to hit her maybe so she can press charges or something. Don't worry about it. Be the adult while she goes on acting like an adolescent. Just learn to ignore it. If you act like it doesn't bother you then she's losing and might decide to stop acting so immature. However, if you keep letting her know how much it bothers you then she's winning and she's going to keep doing it and keep doing it more and more until a fight breaks out.
2007-10-21 06:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy N 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
mabye you should just try to get along with her for the kids sake. i was in both situations. i was the ex picking my son up and the new girlfriend picking up my step daughter. and i found in those situations its just easier to bite your toung. both of my mans ex's are hard to get along with. but i dont want the kids see me not respecting their mom or their soon to be step mom. they watch you for guidance and look up to you to learn how their supposed to act. i think you still have feelings for this guy and mabye thats why you cant stand to be around this girl...you should move on and realize this woman could be in your life forever. and you will have to deal with her. as long as she is good with your kids.(in their minds not yours) i would be thankful that he isnt with someone who will beat them or neglect them or worse. sit her down and talk to her 1 on 1 and tell her for the kids sake to not get in your face around them because that is gonna force them away form her and they will never have a bond that a step parent should have. or you can continue the way its going and wait for that phone call saying your kid got expelled for fighting too much. what they see is what they do.
2007-10-21 06:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by reneesim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is harrassment. Inform your ex-husband if he doesn't keep her in check you'll go straight to the police with the matter. A woman like that, there's no telling what she does to your childern.. If you haven't started the fight with her and she has. . Then you can make it to were she can't be around your childern, and if your ex allows her to do so he can loose his chances on seeing his kids.
2007-10-21 06:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by zombie_f_o_o_d 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋