I am responsible for paying most all of the bills. I keep up with every dime that goes in and out of our checking account. I make all payment arrangements for our bills, if necessary. I go to work full-time just like he does. But when it comes time for him to remember something he can't do it. I am so stressed because I have to keep up with everything.
When I ask him "Did you put up the food" or "Did you pay your taxes or make arrangements" or "Did you call to have that late charge removed from your credit card bill (because it's his credit card and I'm not on the account)" he'll get upset and say "No, I forgot! Why didn't you remind me? You know I didn't do it so why are you asking me that?". He told me I like to point him out and there's no point in asking him about something that he can't do anything about now (because it's too late).
One time our lights were turned off because I forgot to make arrangements on the bill. What if I forgot to do something like that?
2007-10-21 06:17:17 · 9 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have talked to him about this and of course, it makes him stressed and angry because this man cannot deal with any issues. He said he is tired of arguing with me because he forgot to do something. But there's nothing wrong with his brain. He's 29 and I'm 30 and I have way more no my plate than he does. All he does it go to work, eat, sleep and do it again.
2007-10-21 06:19:39 · update #1
Correction - One time the lights were turned off because HE forgot to make payment arrangements on the bill (that's when he was handling the bills).
2007-10-21 06:20:50 · update #2
Don't let him fool you. I have been married for 16 years and I thought my husband could not remember anything. Boy, was I wrong.....not having to remember or be responsible for things cause him to get "comfortable" and he started remembering the blonde next door.
When I would remind him of things he would tell our friends that I nagged him all the time. And I quickly lost friends because they thought I was a control freak. He would always tell me at home that he was joking when he would say stuff like that but he was never willing to tell our friends that he was joking.
Good luck ----
2007-10-21 06:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs a mother and not a wife. I have an aunt in that same situation. She's been married over 20 years, and still has to take care of EVERYTHING. She has talked to her husband, but it doesn't help. She stresses about it, too.
I just don't understand why some men can't take their place as head of a household, and do what's necessary to keep the house running.
I don't know what you can do about it. Maybe seek counseling for your own peace of mind--so you can learn to deal without developing an ulcer or wanting to give up on life.
I wish you the best, sweetie, and I wish there was more I could say that would help.
Take care of YOU!
2007-10-21 13:26:32 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Annie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be nice if your husband was able to be more responsible, but sounds like that is not is his personality. He is the way he is. You can either remind him to do things, set up some sort of automated reminders like an alert on his cell phone, or you can take over everything... if he can't be responsible for his seperate credit card, he doesn't need to have one.
And ofcourse he should not get mad at you for not reminding him, but there is nothing you can do about that except tell him calmly that you don't want to show him up, you just want to know.
2007-10-21 13:57:32 · answer #3 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong!
He's your husband not your child and aside from that he's a grown man that is responsible for his own actions, you shouldn't have to remind him of what he has to do.. those are his responsibilities!
He's acting like a baby and it's disgusting, blaming you for what he refuses to do and remember, it's insane.
And, you say you talked to him about this and nothings changed.. then I suggest marriage counseling/therapy.
I think he obviously needs to hear a second opinion, someone with real experience telling him about his behavior and how it's unacceptable.
If you don't get help, he's obviously not going to change and you're going to spend your life babysitting your husband.
2007-10-21 13:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what he is grown and he should not be expecting you to remind him of anything . Put your foot down and tell him to get a calendar and you will write when the bills are due or he can hand his paycheck over to you and you will take care of the bills .
2007-10-21 13:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you get him an organizer ;).
Or another suggestion make the bills your priority and let him handle others like shopping or house chores. My dad was the same and that is what my mom did.
Good luck!
2007-10-21 13:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by crishu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs consequences for his actions....let him stew in it awhile and do NOT bail him out. You are setting yourself up in a pattern of resentment. He is used to YOU just eventually handling stuff he conveniently forgets, albeit with arguements etc....his pay off is you still have to do everything!! Why would he change??
2007-10-21 13:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are we married to the same guy.? omg. drives you nuts.. and the pressure on you is unbelieveable. well.. i just announced that this is gonna stop. i cannot... continue with his high maintenance. i said i am not your mother.... and i have my own agenda... i did make a list of things..and put on fridge..he cannot miss it. it is his favorite place to stand. mine is worse though because he needs glasses..and refuses to have eyes checked,. so its.. "read this for me..will ya? NO! GET GLASSES. lol.. good luck.
2007-10-21 13:33:43 · answer #8 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your man needs to grow up,totally not ur fault.
2007-10-21 13:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by md7vem 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋